WIBU To ask for a different lady to scan my shopping?

Never even heard of this… Random bag check? Glad I’m a techno-phobe! I always go to the till with a person scanning through my shopping.

@goodoldsussexbythesea I am so sorry you've had such a frustrating time on this thread. I have never started one, but it drives me nuts to read so many comments by people who haven't read all the OP's posts, let alone RTFT.

I'm also really sorry to hear the chain of events that have brought you to this point in your life.

I can empathise with you re your DD with autism, having worked for over 20 years with students with a variety of SEN including autism.
And with your shit exH.

I do hope life treats you better on time to come.
For now well done on keeping it all together and doing your best for your kids. 💐

I don’t have OP’s constraints, but I can buy discounted supermarket gift vouchers through work which can’t be used for online shopping. It saves me money to shop in person, and if I can pick up yellow stickered meat or fish, that helps my budget too. It doesn’t suit me to do click and collect or Ocado delivery. Whatever our reasons for the way we do our food shop - they are our choices and they are valid ones.

It’s a bit rich that people are defending the supermarket and their slow worker, who for all we know might prefer a till job, but then criticise OP for not doing her shopping in the way they have deemed correct.

At the supermarket I used to work at, you'd get more rescans if there were discrepancies between what you'd scanned and what was scanned in the rescan. And that worked either way (so if you scanned something too many times or you forgot to scan something). So if you're shopping in a rush, just try to be careful with what you're scanning. Eventually, if your rescans consistently match up, you should get fewer

I was getting lots of rescans too and when I asked why, was told it was because I was removing items. Apparently the system thinks you'll fail to put the item back on the shelf. Seems unfair because surely at some point it should recognise that this customer has never failed a rescan but it seems not. Now I am more careful not to be rushing and accidentally double scan then have to remove one which was my main issue, not changing my mind.
In regards your actual post, YANBU at all. I too am often in a massive rush (hence doing scan and shop rather than traditional checkout in the first place!) and would be very irritated at having to wait longer than needed.

OP, it sounds like you asked her as politely as you could and you had a valid reason to ask. I can totally understanding you seeing her face and feeling guilty but you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe when you go back in you could just smile at her or even say I hope you don’t mind me asking your colleague - I only have ten minutes to get to the school and she’s super fast (as opposed to saying you’re super slow).

try not to feel bad. The lady shouldn’t be in that department by the sounds of it. Not your fault.

Living a stressful life where you are constantly exhausted can also make you less patient with people. OP clearly feels guilty (even though all she actually did was ask nicely) but she's also understandably very stressed out and on a tight schedule. If I was in her situation I think I might burst into tears seeing that lady amble towards me with a scanner in hand, knowing I have 20 minutes to get to the school.

Ocado are way more expensive than Tesco!! And she has said she only has a Waitrose and a Tesco in town.

OP doesn't appear to have much time on a Friday. She's got between 1-4 but has school run for her other two kids which she picks up at 3:25 and we don't know how long that takes. If she has to leave at 3, she's only got 1-3pm available which is a very specific slot she may not be able to get if she's booking the day before.

Hopefully she can figure out how to book further in advance.

Right now I just hope she's OK.

The politest voice you could muster? I’m going to bet you came across as unkind.
The harsh reality is that we are living in a country where older people are expected to work for longer than ever before. They have no choice.
You may be that lady one day, or your kids might be her in the future.

I work in a supermarket. I see how people treat my older colleagues. How impatient they are, how judgmental they are, how mean they are.
One of my older colleagues is so scared of losing the job she’s done for the last 7 years, as she can’t survive without it, but knows she’s not as capable as she was. Realistically she wouldn’t be employed anywhere else now, so lives in fear that she will lose her job the next time they cut hours (every quarter). I see my future…
I notice that many customers enjoy putting pressure on older colleagues. Making them feel small / less than.

For those that have said they should be moved to a till…. The reality is that shops are cutting down hours on the tills all the time. Maybe we should all have a little more patience and understand that older people need jobs.

Have you considered that this lady knows you are getting very stressy and it’s making her flustered? When people feel under pressure, they can make mistakes and take longer to do things. By being kind, and treating this lady like the human being she is, it may work in your favour. You sound incredibly stressed in your posts, and that’s got to be coming across real life.
Honestly op, you wouldn’t believe the crap we have to deal with in our job. People really do think they can say what they like to us. Your comment most likely was not the only one this lady had to deal with today.

I hope you’re over your stressful shopping experience, and I also hope this lady is ok tonight. I hope she’s not worrying herself sick that she’ll lose her hours and won’t be able to pay her bills.

Jeez what a shitty world we live in.

I have not read all the posts, has anyone suggested yet that you go daily and buy a very small amount of food 😉

I don't think you were unreasonable and if it makes someone realise she isn't suited to that self check out role you've done everyone a favour.

So I totally think it's reasonable to ask someone faster to do it.

Re the Friday thing, it might be too much extra a month, given it sounds like things are incredibly tight, but if your daughter can go out in the car with you (but not into a supermarket), you can do click and collect from Tesco for £2.49 a month for as many pick ups as you want. You could possibly do that on a Friday without the pain you otherwise experience, and it also offers same day slots I think.

Editing: I might be very lucky but where I am I can get same day slots for click and collect and often for delivery, as long as it's not a bank holiday weekend day. So the slot popularity isn't an issue I have. Honestly, I really feel for you OP - everything takes so much more thought when things are this tight.

I don’t think you were unreasonable OP.

If she’s worked in retail for many years I’m certain she will have endured some right grief from customers. Like proper grief, not a request for someone else to do a re-scan. So don’t dwell on the fact that you may have upset/offended her.

Hopefully there’s lots of elderly customers who do scan as you shop and are happy to have a good old chat with this lady as she re-scans their shopping.

I think as someone with a child with SEN (me too so I get it) you naturally have more patience with people rather than less? My child has given me a lot more perspective and I’m far more empathetic and understanding as a result. I know some supermarkets intentionally hire people with disabilities or older people to give them a chance and I think that’s amazing. Surely as a SEN parent you can understand why this is a positive thing?

I realise you have a limited time to shop. I still think you could place the order the day you get paid and have it delivered the following day. Also doesn’t have to be Tesco, Ocado for example are really good with same day slots.

OP, sorry there’s been so many obtuse and unhelpful responses. Cancel the cheque springs to mind. Firstly, YANBU. You weren’t rude, and it very much sounds like the cashier doesn’t want to do it either.

Hopefully MrCollinsandhisboiledpotatoes idea solves the issue and if it doesn’t, see if you can get someone from management on the phone to ask if there’s a way to fix it, or if there is someone else you could email/call to find a solution.

Hang in there 💐

That’s a lot of hassle for a system that is meant to quicker - try click and collect? They don’t take the payment until they have picked it. They probably check your card in advance but you probably only need a pound in the account for that.

I read all your updates OP - I feel sorry for you getting your thread derailed. I would definitely stop replying to posts that are irrelevant to your question. Sometimes you get nice posters who will answer the irrelevant posters for you.

You were fine to ask for someone else - you had no choice. Please put it out of your mind because there’s nothing to be done about it now.

So do it online to be delivered on a Friday… the day after you get paid.

I'm finding this thread unnecessarily stressful on behalf of @goodoldsussexbythesea.

I think it is fair for people to say she is being unreasonable by asking for another assistant (which I actually think was quite reasonable) but for goodness sake just accept the assignment that was set. 🙄😩😂

They have no choice. Once you have been selected for a check the items won't transfer from your hand scanner to the checkout without either being put through their scanner or you having them scanned at a manned till or going through self scan

You are conflating two different things.

Being old does not = being slow
Being young does not = being fast

Being slow is not a protected characteristic.

Well then YOU NEED TO PUT UP with the length of time it takes.

The way OP is coming across on here, I doubt her 'politest voice' was probably at best rude & at worst abuse.

No it's not okay to refuse staff members based on protected characteristics like age or disability & a supermarket manager would not support that.

She needs the supermarket more than they need her.

• Do your big shop at a time when you’re not in a rush

• do your big shop online

• don’t bother with scan as you shop - just bung in the trolley then go to checkout

There are lots of options available to you that won’t cause this hassle.

I would ask to see a manager if the machine wanted 80 items rechecking. firstly the time and secondly I pack my items very specifically and do not want the light items squashed.

I they insisted on 80 getting re-scanned I would empty everything out of my bags and walk off. Yes it's going to necessitate a trip to another shop but they are taking the piss with that number.

Maybe you will - they have literally just solved the issue of how to make your life easier and it’s a maybe…..

No I came to that prediction because, going by this thread, you seem completely inflexible to the idea of change that isn’t you doing a full weekly shop on a Thursday and using a self scanner.