Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU To ask for a different lady to scan my shopping?

316 replies

goodoldsussexbythesea · 20/05/2026 19:13

I do my big shop in Tesco once a week. I usually have around 100 items. I do scan as you shop and I seem to get picked a lot for a random basket check. Fine.
There's one lady who always seems to be working on the self-scan when I go in. She's an older lady and she is incredibly slow. It's so frustrating as I usually don't have a lot of time.
I don't just mean a little bit slow either. I mean about 10 seconds or so between scanning each item. With lots of sighing and breaks and stopping. I think last time she could see the frustration on my face because she said "it's stressful, isn't it?" and I'm like yes... because you are being so slow (didn't say this out loud). I almost asked if she'd like to give me the scanner and let me do it for her but I didn't want to be rude.
Last time, the scanner was telling her she needed to scan over 80 items so it took absolutely forever.
And she puts it all back into the bags wrong too.

So anyway, today I went to tesco, got selected for random bag check and saw this lady was on. My heart sank. I needed to rush home and put it all way and then go on the school run. I didn't need another 20 minutes adding on. She started making her way very slowly towards me and I said, in the politest voice I could muster "do you mind if your colleauge does it?" She looked really taken back so I said "it's just I'm in a bit of a rush, sorry" I tried to look as apologetic as I could but she looked really confused and a bit upset.

The colleague heard the conversation, came over and started scanning. I was out of there and in my care in under 5 minutes.

I feel so bad though. I don't like upsetting people and I keep thinking of her face. I just couldn't do it though, it's so bloody painful.

I don't want to be mean enough to say anything to her supervisor but I really don't think she should be on that section. She should be sitting down on one of the tills, where she's not on her feet and customers haven't chosen a quicker option.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Horses7 · 20/05/2026 20:20

It sounds like you’re doing your best and don’t have many options - so don’t feel guilty and be prepared to ask for another colleague in future.

Coconutter24 · 20/05/2026 20:19

Daisymug · 20/05/2026 20:14

Have you been thinking about this for a week? I would have forgotten by now!

Where did OP say this happened a week ago?

Coconutter24 · 20/05/2026 20:18

NoKnit · 20/05/2026 19:52

Forgot to add i don't think the self service is designed for 80 items so of course you're going to be checked. Just go to the checkout next time?

Of course a scan and shop is designed for a full shop

goodoldsussexbythesea · 20/05/2026 20:17

QuinionsRainbow · 20/05/2026 20:16

Am I missing something here? We shop regularly in Tesco, and occasionally elsewhere, and always scan items straight into bags in our trolley as we go around. When we are finished, we scan a barcode at the scanner machine to say we've stopped shopping, pay in just the same way as if we were processing a small self-scanned load into the bagging zone,take our receipt and we're off on our way. Sometimes a little queuing, but generally none at all. 5 minutes at most on a bad day! We get the very rare basket check, but haven't had one for months now.

Yes, you're missing something. You get a rare basket check. I get them more often. Probably 50% of the time.

OP posts:
PixieTales · 20/05/2026 20:17

goodoldsussexbythesea · 20/05/2026 20:08

I tried to do this but it says you can only edit up to 11:45pm the night before delivery. Then when you edit it to make it a big shop, it checks your card. I don't get paid until the next day so it doesn't let me do it.
By Wednesday night, I usually have less than a tenner in my account. I'm on a tight budget at the moment.

It doesn’t check your card as in check you have the funds in the bank at the time of ordering it’s taking your card details to process the order on the day of delivery/collection.

If you then didn’t have the money in your bank that day they place the order on hold till you can provide payment.

LlynTegid · 20/05/2026 20:17

You were polite, explained a reason truthfully.

I am surprised you do scan as you shop though.

goodoldsussexbythesea · 20/05/2026 20:16

Daisymug · 20/05/2026 20:14

Have you been thinking about this for a week? I would have forgotten by now!

No..... I went shopping today?

OP posts:
QuinionsRainbow · 20/05/2026 20:16

Am I missing something here? We shop regularly in Tesco, and occasionally elsewhere, and always scan items straight into bags in our trolley as we go around. When we are finished, we scan a barcode at the scanner machine to say we've stopped shopping, pay in just the same way as if we were processing a small self-scanned load into the bagging zone,take our receipt and we're off on our way. Sometimes a little queuing, but generally none at all. 5 minutes at most on a bad day! We get the very rare basket check, but haven't had one for months now.

goodoldsussexbythesea · 20/05/2026 20:16

TY78910 · 20/05/2026 20:00

I work in retail - we employ older / younger / deaf / wheelchair users. There will always be a customer that finds a fault with any person that is different. Sometimes they ask for me to vent, most of the time they wait for the email survey which they don’t realise is sent directly to the employee. It’s all round sad. They will make out that it’s not because of the characteristic but it’s 100% a micro aggression.

My stance on this is - why on earth are you doing a shop with more than 80 items just before the school run? That’s poor planning, sorry. Frankly the people that work there don’t care you have a school run to go to, just as much as you don’t care they need a little longer to re-scan your items.

You claim to be all understanding of other people and their difficulties, and say that anyone asking to be served by someone else is simply displaying micro-aggression, but then you go on to judge me and my abilities, claiming its "just poor planning". You don't know me, my circumstances, my life or the time I have available any more than I know others. Who are you to judge me for what you deem as "poor planning?"
I didn't choose to have an autistic child with abuse related trauma that can't cope with supermarkets so I can only go during school hours. I didn't choose to have an abusive ex that I had to flee from leaving me in a remote location with no partner and no family I can leave the kids with. I didn't choose for him to financially abuse us to the point that I am working 7 days a week (I have to take my daughter to work with me at my weekend job) just to stay afloat and pay the debt he left us with, leaving me with very limited spare time. I didn't choose to not be financially able to have the spare money in my account to order my shopping in advance.
I didn't choose any of this any more than your colleagues chose to be deaf or disabled.
So don't you dare come on me and accuse me of being judgy and then turn around and judge me in the same post.

OP posts:
KeeleyJ · 20/05/2026 20:15

YANBU, my local store employs a physically and mentally disabled person (one arm is spastic and he has an impaired cognitive ability). He is painfully slow and prone to throwing eggs carton in the bottom on the shopping bags and such a chatterbox he keeps forgetting to scan 😆.

I avoid him at all costs as I don't have time for him to take all day followed my me having to sort out the damaged items.

(Lovely guy BTW, I went to school with him, just not good on a checkout, happy to chat to them if I bump into him on the shop floor).

Daisymug · 20/05/2026 20:14

Have you been thinking about this for a week? I would have forgotten by now!

bumptybum · 20/05/2026 20:14

NoKnit · 20/05/2026 19:50

I'm totally amazed at this. Surely you calculate the time in for doing the check out if you've got over 80 items of shopping and don't expect to be done in 5 minutes if you have to do the school run?

She didn’t say she expected to be done in five minutes she said that the colleague did it in five minutes

The problem is, it should also not take 20 minutes

StephensLass1977 · 20/05/2026 20:14

You're fine, op. Far better than just complaining behind her back. At least you were proactive. You weren't rude.

MJagain · 20/05/2026 20:14

You may find it less stressful to get a delivery / click & collect on a Friday or Saturday (when you’ve been paid, no need to do the big shop in a rush)

bumptybum · 20/05/2026 20:13

SockPlant · 20/05/2026 19:41

i hope when you are old and tired and working past time you thought you would be retired by that some young woman treats you as badly.

Requiring prompt service is not rude. Saying it rudely is rude. But expecting a supermarket to put appropriate staff on each area and not putting up with poor service politely is not rude.

self serve is supposed to be quick. That staff member defeats the purpose. Not her fault but it’s also not for customer ms to be late because the staff member is in an inappropriate role

You need to learn the difference between rudeness and not being a doormat

goodoldsussexbythesea · 20/05/2026 20:08

Popfan · 20/05/2026 20:03

When I do my click and collect, I book the slot and put a few items on it and then checkout... this holds the slot until I get round to completing it. I then do the whole shop the night before (you can make changes until about 11pm). It gives you an expected cost. They then pick out the shopping and the money is taken the morning of the order. So I'm pretty sure you don't need to have the money to pay into your account until the day you have booked to collect. If I'm wrong and they do, just put a couple of things on to secure it and do the shop the night before.

I tried to do this but it says you can only edit up to 11:45pm the night before delivery. Then when you edit it to make it a big shop, it checks your card. I don't get paid until the next day so it doesn't let me do it.
By Wednesday night, I usually have less than a tenner in my account. I'm on a tight budget at the moment.

OP posts:
ChickenBananaBanana · 20/05/2026 20:08

Tesco take the money the day you get it .

godmum56 · 20/05/2026 20:07

Scarlettpixie · 20/05/2026 19:51

I don’t think you were unreasonable. I recommend online shopping though. It’s great! I never do a big shop in person these days.

me too. problem solved.

Popfan · 20/05/2026 20:03

goodoldsussexbythesea · 20/05/2026 19:54

I have to shop on the day I get paid, which is weekly on a Thursday. I don't have the budget to order it in advance and I'd have to order it a few days before to get the slot I need. I believe they check your card to make sure you've got the money on there, and I wouldn't have on, say, a Tuesday, I'd only have my weekly spending money which isn't as much as I spend on a big shop. If that makes sense.
Same reason I can't get it delivered.
Can't chose another supermarket either as we are remote. I only have a tesco and a waitrose. Otherwise, I'd shop in lidl.

When I do my click and collect, I book the slot and put a few items on it and then checkout... this holds the slot until I get round to completing it. I then do the whole shop the night before (you can make changes until about 11pm). It gives you an expected cost. They then pick out the shopping and the money is taken the morning of the order. So I'm pretty sure you don't need to have the money to pay into your account until the day you have booked to collect. If I'm wrong and they do, just put a couple of things on to secure it and do the shop the night before.

thehonscupboard · 20/05/2026 20:00

The quick reaction her colleague makes me think they’re aware of the problem. It’s a shame her managers haven’t noticed as it puts everyone in an awkward position. A slow person would suit the manned checkouts perfectly (assuming your branch has them) as I think there’s a contingent of people who go there specifically for the human contact element and wouldn’t mind waiting so much.

TY78910 · 20/05/2026 20:00

SockPlant · 20/05/2026 19:41

i hope when you are old and tired and working past time you thought you would be retired by that some young woman treats you as badly.

I work in retail - we employ older / younger / deaf / wheelchair users. There will always be a customer that finds a fault with any person that is different. Sometimes they ask for me to vent, most of the time they wait for the email survey which they don’t realise is sent directly to the employee. It’s all round sad. They will make out that it’s not because of the characteristic but it’s 100% a micro aggression.

My stance on this is - why on earth are you doing a shop with more than 80 items just before the school run? That’s poor planning, sorry. Frankly the people that work there don’t care you have a school run to go to, just as much as you don’t care they need a little longer to re-scan your items.

youalright · 20/05/2026 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Well the government won't let people retire so what do you expect them to do

runiebramble · 20/05/2026 19:59

goodoldsussexbythesea · 20/05/2026 19:54

I have to shop on the day I get paid, which is weekly on a Thursday. I don't have the budget to order it in advance and I'd have to order it a few days before to get the slot I need. I believe they check your card to make sure you've got the money on there, and I wouldn't have on, say, a Tuesday, I'd only have my weekly spending money which isn't as much as I spend on a big shop. If that makes sense.
Same reason I can't get it delivered.
Can't chose another supermarket either as we are remote. I only have a tesco and a waitrose. Otherwise, I'd shop in lidl.

I have Tesco deliveries or do click and collect, they don’t pre check your card and just take payment on the morning of your delivery or click and collect slot when your order is picked.

If you choose an evening slot they often don’t take the payment until lunch time

goodoldsussexbythesea · 20/05/2026 19:57

youalright · 20/05/2026 19:52

Why are you leaving yourself so little time

Because I have so little time. I am a single mum of three, working two jobs. There's no other time available to me. I can't go out in the evening when the kids are in bed as I have no babysitters. I can't go out after I pick up my kids because my autistic daughter can't cope in busy supermarkets. So I have the window between finishing work on a Thursday and picking them up.

OP posts:
Bleachedjeans · 20/05/2026 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.