Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Men... are u okay? What is the problem?

660 replies

LavenderSkiesxo · 20/05/2026 15:02

I think this will be removed / deleted but i am not saying anything untrue. Or factually incorrect. But here goes...

Since having my little girl just over a year ago I have started resenting men. I dont know why as my partner isnt bad. I just see them in a whole new light.

Firstly, years ago women couldn't vote and it was the done thing that they would look after the children and home and men were the providers. But, many women (not all!) Now have careers, go to work, earn their own money. We can now vote. Aswell as have a career, many women still take on majority of the housework and childcare. Not because men always refuse but they just dont, we do things automatically. Men, just dont think.

The other day I was driving to visit family and saw a car with its hazards on in the slip road... they have broken down i thought. Nope. A man was standing behind his car pissing. It got me thinking, ive never seen a woman pissing at the side of the road. We just wouldn't, so how do men find themselves in this situation? My dog can hold its bladder until "walkies" so what's the issue?

I read that men commit like 91% of murders, most rapes are men and men mostly abuse their partners. Men are more likely to commit suicide, men dont open up and speak about their feelings.. some men transition to become "women" and fight to enter women spaces. I know women transition to men but you dont hear about them!

I just dont understand. Men.. what is the actual problem??? Apart from sperm, what is your actual purpose??

The posts on here today.. oh my man was messaging a coworker inappropriately and he cant get her moved as it'll be suspicious... WHAT!! Nah he has played his part, otherwise it would be as simple as, hey HR this person is being inappropriate and its making me uncomfortable, here are the messages 🤣🤣

Or the other one, my man spent lots of money on my credit card and refusing to pay up... WHAT🤣🤣

What the fuck, we all play our part to with enabling such shit behaviour.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
TriesNotToBeCynical · 22/05/2026 15:18

To be fair, she didn't say which side of the debate needed medicating. This is not obvious.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 22/05/2026 15:15

72% don’t think the OP is being unreasonable.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 22/05/2026 15:13

Beachtastic · 22/05/2026 14:48

Glad to see this thread gradually fizzling out as people remember to take their medication.

Isn't that a little on the unkind side? The Rules preclude me saying more.

Beachtastic · 22/05/2026 14:48

Glad to see this thread gradually fizzling out as people remember to take their medication.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 22/05/2026 13:09

I would conclude from the above that women largely don't do these jobs, not that they can't. Engineering, for instance, is largely an intellectual rather than physical pursuit anyway.

LeaderBee · 22/05/2026 10:55

CombatBarbie · 21/05/2026 13:42

Can you please provide evidence that women cannot do these jobs?? Its 2026 not 1916.....

Here you go:

https://www.oilfieldtechnology.com/special-reports/09012020/being-female-in-a-male-dominated-industry/

"She added: “Engineering, and definitely in the oil and gas sector to which my sphere of experience is limited, is without question, a male dominated industry. In general, the ratio would be something like 30-to-1 or so from my general observations. Among the complete population of employees in my current role in Iraq – it would be closer to 300-to-1."

Bearing in mind i'm not saying they can't do it, i'm saying it is an industry largely dominated by men, Ergo, few women are doing the job either because they can't or don't want to.

Being female in a male dominated industry

Vicki Codd, NES Global Talent, examines what work life is like for female workers in the oil and gas industry.

https://www.oilfieldtechnology.com/special-reports/09012020/being-female-in-a-male-dominated-industry/

EmailsaysOOO · 22/05/2026 09:31

MysticChevron · 22/05/2026 07:50

My Dad is dead. But we all agree he was indeed a pig.

Ok so have you told the other men in your life?

ItWasAlwaysMaybelline · 22/05/2026 08:45

Wishitsnows · 20/05/2026 15:14

@UniquePinkSwan if there was a thread on petrolheads about women there would be no men jumping to womens defence like women do for men on here.

Petrolheads is mentioned on here quite often so I had a look and it's a site for used cars. Why is this relevant, please?

ItWasAlwaysMaybelline · 22/05/2026 08:40

You may not see women pissing on slip roads because they crouch down to do it.

MysticChevron · 22/05/2026 07:50

EmailsaysOOO · 21/05/2026 19:06

Have you told your dad this ? Or your son or your male cousin or boss ?

My Dad is dead. But we all agree he was indeed a pig.

Pigeonatthewheel · 21/05/2026 21:10

Pigeonatthewheel · 21/05/2026 21:00

Ah Petrolheads, that well known man’s forum 🤣 Unless this is deliberately incorrect to mock it, if so fair play!

Where’s the edit function, before a grammar pedant gets me 😬

Pigeonatthewheel · 21/05/2026 21:00

UniquePinkSwan · 20/05/2026 15:10

The man bashing on this site is getting worse. If men did this on petrolheads you’d all be frothing

Ah Petrolheads, that well known man’s forum 🤣 Unless this is deliberately incorrect to mock it, if so fair play!

EmailsaysOOO · 21/05/2026 19:40

@Witchonenowbob yes I expect they've worked it out somehow !. I'm annoyed at myself for not taking the advice I gave you but can't imagine having that much hatred inside me . So weird .Ah well.

MiniPharm · 21/05/2026 19:20

The older I get the more I agree. What is the point of them?

Witchonenowbob · 21/05/2026 19:10

EmailsaysOOO · 21/05/2026 19:06

Have you told your dad this ? Or your son or your male cousin or boss ?

I’d hazard a guess she’s made them aware ….

EmailsaysOOO · 21/05/2026 19:06

MysticChevron · 21/05/2026 09:06

Men are pigs. End of.

Have you told your dad this ? Or your son or your male cousin or boss ?

Witchonenowbob · 21/05/2026 18:54

EmailsaysOOO · 21/05/2026 13:31

I don't think it's healthy to engage with posters such as this, with these issues. Nothing good will come if it..

Yes, good point! The particular poster then reacted with a heart ❤️ on my last comment, odd indeed!

Clarabell77 · 21/05/2026 18:37

UniquePinkSwan · 20/05/2026 15:10

The man bashing on this site is getting worse. If men did this on petrolheads you’d all be frothing

That’s because they’d all be lying!

Terrellium · 21/05/2026 18:34

shuggles · 21/05/2026 18:01

@Yellowworm45 For the people saying it's not all men
If you had a box of chocolates all looking the same
But one of them was dog poo inside the chocolate shell
Would you risk eating any ?
Or would you say no thanks to them all.
Honestly it would massively put me of choosing any of them .
To high a risk as you don't know which is dog poo

If I substitute "men" in this analogy with specific ethnic or religious groups, is this analogy still valid?

It’s such a stupid analogy. It could be applied to pretty much anything.

There are plenty of toxic, horrible women around. Maybe men should steer clear of women, if you’re going to live your life by the chocolate analogy. Or women avoid being friends with women. Or men avoid being friends with other men.

shuggles · 21/05/2026 18:01

@Yellowworm45 For the people saying it's not all men
If you had a box of chocolates all looking the same
But one of them was dog poo inside the chocolate shell
Would you risk eating any ?
Or would you say no thanks to them all.
Honestly it would massively put me of choosing any of them .
To high a risk as you don't know which is dog poo

If I substitute "men" in this analogy with specific ethnic or religious groups, is this analogy still valid?

shuggles · 21/05/2026 17:57

CombatBarbie · 21/05/2026 13:42

Can you please provide evidence that women cannot do these jobs?? Its 2026 not 1916.....

I didn't say they can't do these jobs. I said they don't do them.

The data is available online which shows that they don't.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/05/2026 13:47

LavenderSkiesxo · 20/05/2026 21:37

I think men feel powerless at the moment.

They are no longer the breadwinner for many families. They no longer outearn their partners. It must be humiliating to do a full day at work, feel knackered whilst your partner has done a full day, the school run, dinners, cleaning.. oh and still finds time to look after themselves, and talk to family and friends. Why are men incapable of any of that? As a species they have not evolved and I've had enough. My partner said to me the other day, the babies nails are getting a bit sharp havent you cut them?? I looked at him and said yes I will do it but is it purely my job are you incapable??? Oh, erm, ehh, I djdnt mean that. Of course you didnt. Twat.

so why are you with him? you're contemptuous of him, you feel superior to him, he's clearly useless in your opinion. why cling into a man you clearly don't seem to respect or like?

CombatBarbie · 21/05/2026 13:42

shuggles · 20/05/2026 21:36

Oil rig workers, miners, sewage workers, bin men, chemical industries, construction.

All jobs that involve a high risk of occupational illness and/or death. Risks that do not exist with wiping arses or bathing elderly people.

Can you please provide evidence that women cannot do these jobs?? Its 2026 not 1916.....

VaxMerstappen · 21/05/2026 13:36

I think it'd be a better use of your time to get your dildo out and solve whatever pent-up frustration it is that has caused you to decide to post this, tbh. Raging misandrist.

EmailsaysOOO · 21/05/2026 13:31

Witchonenowbob · 21/05/2026 09:31

Oh they got fabulous feedback, and they’d get it many times over! I will forever be grateful.

I don't think it's healthy to engage with posters such as this, with these issues. Nothing good will come if it..