Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Men... are u okay? What is the problem?

660 replies

LavenderSkiesxo · 20/05/2026 15:02

I think this will be removed / deleted but i am not saying anything untrue. Or factually incorrect. But here goes...

Since having my little girl just over a year ago I have started resenting men. I dont know why as my partner isnt bad. I just see them in a whole new light.

Firstly, years ago women couldn't vote and it was the done thing that they would look after the children and home and men were the providers. But, many women (not all!) Now have careers, go to work, earn their own money. We can now vote. Aswell as have a career, many women still take on majority of the housework and childcare. Not because men always refuse but they just dont, we do things automatically. Men, just dont think.

The other day I was driving to visit family and saw a car with its hazards on in the slip road... they have broken down i thought. Nope. A man was standing behind his car pissing. It got me thinking, ive never seen a woman pissing at the side of the road. We just wouldn't, so how do men find themselves in this situation? My dog can hold its bladder until "walkies" so what's the issue?

I read that men commit like 91% of murders, most rapes are men and men mostly abuse their partners. Men are more likely to commit suicide, men dont open up and speak about their feelings.. some men transition to become "women" and fight to enter women spaces. I know women transition to men but you dont hear about them!

I just dont understand. Men.. what is the actual problem??? Apart from sperm, what is your actual purpose??

The posts on here today.. oh my man was messaging a coworker inappropriately and he cant get her moved as it'll be suspicious... WHAT!! Nah he has played his part, otherwise it would be as simple as, hey HR this person is being inappropriate and its making me uncomfortable, here are the messages 🤣🤣

Or the other one, my man spent lots of money on my credit card and refusing to pay up... WHAT🤣🤣

What the fuck, we all play our part to with enabling such shit behaviour.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
LeaderBee · 20/05/2026 19:03

Paganpentacle · 20/05/2026 16:41

87% of the NHS is female.

And you think its just hospitals society needs to run?

LeaderBee · 20/05/2026 19:01

CocoaTea · 20/05/2026 16:34

But you dismissed her argument with mentioning generations. You are the one who brought that up as a reason why she should forget about it.

It’s also interesting that you mention “teaching our kids to hate Germans and Japanese”.

What on earth makes you say that?

Knowing what happened in the past is nothing to do with “teaching hate” - it is about understanding the past so we can understand how certain imbalances occur or how some unfair structures came to be in place, and hopefully by talking about it honestly and accurately, we and the generations after us, can avoid making the same mistakes.

Interesting you skipped over colonialism which is actually still the blight of many, many countries even today. But you dont want to have that conversation.

Back to OP’s point, let’s say the Suffragettes gave us the right to work. Do you have anything to say about the gender-pay gap?

Although the OP’s references are out of date to you, the impact of them is what I believe she was referring to. Therefore it is in fact relevant.

Do i have anything to say about the gender pay gap?

Yes if it was real then every employer in the country would have a business run by women since they would save so much more money paying their staff less than men, but that's not the case, is it?

Newrumpus · 20/05/2026 19:00

UniquePinkSwan · 20/05/2026 15:10

The man bashing on this site is getting worse. If men did this on petrolheads you’d all be frothing

I agree. It’s disgusting and pretty immature.

UnemployedNotRetired · 20/05/2026 18:59

Ninapertree · 20/05/2026 18:33

Women can do that too.

Shewees exist.

I wouldnt on the street cuz its disgusting. I stepped in a mans piss yesterday

How did you know it was from a man?

DogsandFlowers · 20/05/2026 18:59

Passingthrough123 · 20/05/2026 18:53

Presumably because it's easier to wash piss off feet than it is off shoes? Imagine if you're wearing espadrilles – you won't be washing out of the raffia. 😂

Oh god
i just cannot fathom taking shoes off for a wee
Maybe I’m the problem

MoonWoman69 · 20/05/2026 18:59

@JLou08 Well said!

Thatsillymama · 20/05/2026 18:57

I remember my mother telling me when i was young that any man who describes himself as a nice or good guy never is and he'll likely be the worst of them.
I've found this to be very solid advice. I have some wonderful men in my life but have met some truely awful ones also, mostly through my job.

Featherhands · 20/05/2026 18:56

I piss outside regularly.

I like to sit on my tractor bucket or the forks. Gives me a nice comfy toilet type position without worrying I'll pass my knicks.

Passingthrough123 · 20/05/2026 18:53

DogsandFlowers · 20/05/2026 18:01

I still don’t understand why pissy bare feet are preferable to pissy shoes 😂😂😂😂😂🙄

Presumably because it's easier to wash piss off feet than it is off shoes? Imagine if you're wearing espadrilles – you won't be washing out of the raffia. 😂

WeatherOrNothing · 20/05/2026 18:52

LavenderSkiesxo · 20/05/2026 15:46

I just wonder why we arent asking what is wrong with men collectively? So everyone who thinks im wrong. Do you honestly think men are fine and its "some" men. I take it when you are raising your daughters you wont be warning them about men?

Yes of course it’s some men. And aren’t you a big fat hypocrite, hat on your dh so much but still married to him

LoyalMember · 20/05/2026 18:50

Oohanothername · 20/05/2026 18:25

It really saddens me that there is so much man hating online at the moment.

Generalising about a whole group of people because of the actions of some of them is extremely problematic. You could draw incredibly negative conclusions about any group in society if you viewed them solely through the lens of the worst behaved ones.

It is a difficult time to be a man. It's also an exciting time to be a woman. We are in a position we have never been in before and it's incredible. It does come with some consequences though, which is another conversation. However the misogyny that has driven the patriarchy in the past needs erasing... NOT translating into misandry. That defeats the object of feminism (which is equality) and surely makes women as bad as the men in the patriarchy!

I worry for our boys growing up in such a man hating society. We rail against the likes of Andrew Tate and his ilk for their attitudes to women but the attitudes towards men from some women is no better at all. It's disgraceful.

If anybody called out a particular race or members of a faith in the same manner, all Hell would break loose, and quite rightly, but because it's men, it's open season and they're fair game, it seems. The disdain to, and hatred of, men on here at times is disturbing.

Feis123 · 20/05/2026 18:49

OP got in a car, invented by men, designed and assembled by men, made from metal cast by men, filled by petrol, made from oil extracted by men, drove along a road, built by men, saw a man urinating by the side of the road, then entered a house, built by men, from concrete, poured by men, switched on a computer, invented by men, went online, invented by men, using programmes, invented by men, and wrote in letters of the alphabet, invented by men 'What is the fucking point of men?'

JLou08 · 20/05/2026 18:46

LavenderSkiesxo · 20/05/2026 18:12

I have a nice partner, dad and brother..
When I see people saying similar about men then no I am not heartbroken. I appreciate the men I have in my life are good but not all men are like that. Maybe your daughter is prone to sensitivity?? I cant get my head around why you said that. 2nd hand embarrassment for you.

What a mean comment. Most of your comments here are very rude and angry. It takes away from what could have been sensible discussion about misogyny and why men commit more crimes.
If you were paying attention instead of looking for things to pick at, you may have noticed one of the contributing factors was provided in an early comment.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/05/2026 18:41

LavenderSkiesxo · 20/05/2026 18:15

Why get a divorce? I am not talking about every single man. Jesus. Its some responses here that make me understand why some woman posters put up with so much shit. The bar is low and they can do no wrong.

because a man's only used is sperm. he's impregnated you. made a girl. shouldn't risk a boy, you don't want to raise one or those useless things only useful for their sperm. why keep around something that has no use to you now?

Oohanothername · 20/05/2026 18:41

crackofdoom · 20/05/2026 18:34

Re: pissing.

I am an accomplished outdoor ladypisser. I have to be, I have a tiny bladder and I love hiking! Drop trousers, squat (don't remove shoes, WTAF), shake or wipe, everything up again. All over in 20 seconds. No need for Shewees or anything like that.

But you'd never see me...I am the Macavity of pissing. All the thousands of times I've had a wild wee and I've been caught exactly once. I would certainly never do anything as crass and obstructive as piss on a slip road with my hazards on, honestly!

(If really desperate while driving, pull into a layby and open front and rear passenger doors to shield you, if you can't find a more elegant solution).

Me too. I wee everywhere , all the time - even on a dog walk. I have only got busted once, on the Pacific Coast Highway in California of all places. FFS 😂. 2 guys in a car stopped at a particular spot - then we saw them at every subsequent spot for the rest of the day....🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Ninapertree · 20/05/2026 18:40

Wynter25 · 20/05/2026 18:40

Why shouldnt we. Not all men are bad and i have a son

Yes but dont take it personally against your son.

There is a huge male to female violence and rape epidemic

Waitingfordoggo · 20/05/2026 18:40

You’ve become a mother to a daughter. It was becoming a mum to a daughter that also really opened my eyes to the plight of women worldwide, and the widespread bad behaviour of men.

Not all men, no. My husband/son/brother/Dad are/were all very nice and not dangerous or lazy.

But enough badly-behaved men to constitute a patriarchy that makes the world unsafe and difficult for women.

Wynter25 · 20/05/2026 18:40

Weeellokthen · 20/05/2026 18:09

I am so surprised to read women sticking up for men, on this site 😮. Highly unusual

Why shouldnt we. Not all men are bad and i have a son

LavenderSkiesxo · 20/05/2026 18:38

HarryBlaster · 20/05/2026 18:37

My husband always has a poo when I take a shower. It’s disgusting but despite me telling him not to, he does it anyway. He says he can’t hold it in. Such a dickhead.

My ex used to take a poo when I was running a bath.

OP posts:
Beguiledbeehive · 20/05/2026 18:37

From my own experience, it appears that men are twats. There are the ones who are openly twats and the ones who are twats in secret. But hey, I’m just a bitter old cow these days… but with good reason (twatty men being that reason!)

HarryBlaster · 20/05/2026 18:37

My husband always has a poo when I take a shower. It’s disgusting but despite me telling him not to, he does it anyway. He says he can’t hold it in. Such a dickhead.

crackofdoom · 20/05/2026 18:34

Re: pissing.

I am an accomplished outdoor ladypisser. I have to be, I have a tiny bladder and I love hiking! Drop trousers, squat (don't remove shoes, WTAF), shake or wipe, everything up again. All over in 20 seconds. No need for Shewees or anything like that.

But you'd never see me...I am the Macavity of pissing. All the thousands of times I've had a wild wee and I've been caught exactly once. I would certainly never do anything as crass and obstructive as piss on a slip road with my hazards on, honestly!

(If really desperate while driving, pull into a layby and open front and rear passenger doors to shield you, if you can't find a more elegant solution).

Ninapertree · 20/05/2026 18:33

LeaderBee · 20/05/2026 15:15

The thing you are forgetting here is not that it is men doing this but penis owners - there's a slight difference in that if you had one, you'd find it more convenient to piss on the street if you could discreetly pull out a little hose and have a piss in a couple of seconds instead of having to pull your entire set of pants and trousers down and squat somewhere while you try not to fall over into a puddle of your own urine.

It's because it's convenient, not because its men.

Women can do that too.

Shewees exist.

I wouldnt on the street cuz its disgusting. I stepped in a mans piss yesterday

LavenderSkiesxo · 20/05/2026 18:33

butterpuffed · 20/05/2026 18:32

Did your parents warn you about men ?

Not superficially. It was just strangers. But school material which warned the same all showed men

OP posts:
butterpuffed · 20/05/2026 18:32

LavenderSkiesxo · 20/05/2026 15:46

I just wonder why we arent asking what is wrong with men collectively? So everyone who thinks im wrong. Do you honestly think men are fine and its "some" men. I take it when you are raising your daughters you wont be warning them about men?

Did your parents warn you about men ?