Male hospital staff

I understand the potential issue, but I never experienced it actually being one during my decade in the profession. Apologies for my lack of clarity.

You're male. You can't possibly understand OP's feelings or empathise with her.

I was with you until the “not had another man down there besides DH” line, just ick. The man’s doing his job, not wanting to shag you luv. 🤢

Your original post suggested that you felt it was a non-issue.

YANBU I would feel the same. In fact I probably would have cancelled.

Please see my answer above - yes I understand the issue, and I left the profession)

I'm surprised a nurse would be this dismissive. You must surely be aware of what the issue is? Are you that clueless?

And as for 'nothing untoward' happening - I made a legitimate complaint about the clinical treatment I received at a breast clinic (by female staff), which caused an infection and ongoing issues over a decade later and the male head of the clinic called me in for a 'follow up meeting,' had me take off my top with no chaperone present, then left me topless while he tried to intimidate me. I had to shout to interrupt him and demand he give me my clothes back.

You should not be a nurse if you don't understand why women might feel uncomfortable around men.

Yes, of course I do. But I never experienced that (I eventually left the profession).

what happened when you told them that you'd prefer a female staff member?

He's not getting his rocks off over your vagina.

Maybe not, but why consider his feelings rather than the OP's? If she is uncomfortable by not being informed of the sex of the HCP, that's what is important here. She is not having the procedure for his benefit so her comfort is what is paramount here, not his.

Wouldn’t be bothered, not different to having male hca help with intimate care on a ward. I’d presume you’d need to request a female in advance.

You do understand that some women will reasonably not be comfortable with receiving intimate care from you though, right?

Probably not. Of course, that's not the only reason a woman might be uncomfortable, and in addition, medical professionals are capable of being inappropriate, pervy, or sex offenders.

This thread actually put me in mind of this one I remember reading late last year:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5430694-was-the-sonographer-being-a-creep

Same.
I’ve always had female sonographers and I would expect to be notified in advance if it was going to be performed by a male so I had the chance to object. It is a very intimate procedure.

As a (male) nurse, I was involved in treatment of 'private bits' of men, women and children. So was my dad, my mum, my sister, and many of my relatives, both male and female.
As a patient, I've had a female surgeon do my vasectomy, and female nurses changing dressings when I had to have an operation 'downstairs'.
And guess what? Nothing untoward ever happened. Everyone was professional, and just did their job. Or was happy with their treatment.

I had this recently. A female nurse was there. No problem with it. They're medical professionals. He's not getting his rocks off over your vagina.

Unreasonable to assume, not unreasonable to have asked in advance. Lesson for next time.

I have a slightly similar story where I had a lump in my breast, I was only 28, the sonographer to check my breast was male, he checked both breasts, he didnt make me feel uncomfortable at all very professional, however, the two female health care assistants in the room who just looked at me the entire time make me feel very uncomfortable!

How rude.

Thankfully I've never needed this procedure so I haven't considered the possibility it might not be done by a woman.

Every smear test I've had was carried out by a female nurse, and mammograms by all female staff, so it's quite reasonable I think to assume the same would be true for such an intimate scan.

What's nothing to do with gender (or rather, sex)?

They are medical professionals, it’s nothing to do with gender.
I have been examined by male and female practitioners. I recently had an internal and external ultrasound by a male.
I was grateful to have received a prompt appointment and to have the procedure completed. I did not care what sex the sonographer was.

In my local hospital, scheduled transvaginal ultrasounds are thankfully only performed female members of staff, as are the Mammograms. I would have felt extremely uncomfortable if mine had been carried out by a male. Mind you, the female Sonographer who did mine barely said a word to me and seemed completely pissed off that she was having to do it. There was also palpable tension between the Sonographer and the chaperoning member of staff, I'm not sure if they just disliked each other or if they'd had a falling out of some sort. Even with all female staff it was still a very uncomfortable (physically & atmospherically!) experience.

When I was younger going through infertility investigations, absolutely all of the medical staff were male, but there was always a female nurse as chaperone. The male sonographer was lovely; he always got me to insert the ultrasound probe myself then moved it around and explained the images on the screen to me. He never saw any of my “bits” as I was covered with a sheet! The only time I felt awkward was with another sonographer who was accompanied by a young male trainee. I was on my period, so presumed they would do an abdominal scan instead. They didn’t! Just felt a bit embarrassed to be bleeding onto the examination couch! The nurse tried to reassure me, but I really didn’t want to go through with it.

I would be unable to have a man do it, and frankly, I would have fully expected them to inform me if there was a possibility the HCP wouldn't be a woman, and so might not think to ask. It would be a wasted appointment for me.

Honestly, it seems strange that they ensure mammographers are female-only, and yet HCPs who will be vaginally penetrating you in a very thorough manner can be male.

You're definitely not being precious, OP!!

@ToadRage That's appalling. I fully appreciate that there are some women who don't care, but I certainly do (as do pretty much all the other women I know!) You should always be given the choice for any intimate care. Perhaps give the GP some feedback?

I had the exact same experience, after a 10 week miscarriage, and there was no female chaperone present. I was in such a mess, I didn't think to ask for one. And he was just horrible. At one point, mid-poke with the stick thing, he said "oh". I said "is the baby still there?". He said, in a kind of jovial way "No!"
That was 21 years ago. I'm still haunted by it.