Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect parents to tidy up in cafés?

158 replies

wrinklycactus · 20/05/2026 11:29

Since having a baby I've had a different perspective on lots of things.. including the mess left by some parents in cafes/ restaurants with babies and toddlers in high chairs.

I was in M&S cafe yesterday looking for somewhere to sit with my toddler, and the only free table looked like an absolute bomb site - crumbs and spillages everywhere, high chair a total mess - they'd just left it for the poor staff to clean up.

I appreciate I only have one kid to think about, but I always clean up after feeding him in a cafe if we've made a massive mess (and we are BLW so we definitely do make a mess!)

Obviously I don't worry about every crumb but I couldn't live with leaving a table in the state that I saw yesterday.

I know there are circumstances where you have to leave in a rush and kids are having meltdowns etc, I'm not talking about that - just talking about generally leaving your bomb site for the staff to clean up or the next person to inherit!

AIBU to think this is just rude and inconsiderate?

OP posts:
Original poster
wrinklycactus · 20/05/2026 11:39

toastofthetown · 20/05/2026 11:36

I agree. We also BLW with a nosy baby who would get distracted easily so made a lot of mess. We always clean up, and I’ve actually noticed a lot of times when we’re cleaning up or we ask for more napkins or a dustpan and brush, the staff often say they’re happy to clean up because they appreciate we’ve made an effort. It’s probably more of an issue in places like large M&S cafes where staffing has been cut to the bare bones and there just isn’t enough staff to clean up tables after they’re vacated anyway, regardless of the level of mess there.

Yeah and I think it's even worse really if it's somewhere big and understaffed, because they are run off their feet and have enough to do.

I'm not a cleaner/ cafe staff btw I just feel sorry for them!

OP posts:
Sartre · 20/05/2026 11:39

Agreed. I used to ask for a sweeping brush and cloth if necessary to sort it.

DappledThings · 20/05/2026 11:37

I always cleaned up. I always had wipes and nappy bags with me so always gathered up crumbs and chunks of food and other detritus that had been left. I remember SIL asking someone in a cafe once for a dustpan and brush after a particularly messy lunch and the owner was astounded someone actually wanted to clean up.

toastofthetown · 20/05/2026 11:36

I agree. We also BLW with a nosy baby who would get distracted easily so made a lot of mess. We always clean up, and I’ve actually noticed a lot of times when we’re cleaning up or we ask for more napkins or a dustpan and brush, the staff often say they’re happy to clean up because they appreciate we’ve made an effort. It’s probably more of an issue in places like large M&S cafes where staffing has been cut to the bare bones and there just isn’t enough staff to clean up tables after they’re vacated anyway, regardless of the level of mess there.

Original poster
wrinklycactus · 20/05/2026 11:36

Pricelessadvice · 20/05/2026 11:34

You can always tell when a table has been occupied by a family with young children because there’ll be mess everywhere and food all over the floor.
It just shows the general attitude of people nowadays.

Yes and the daft thing is that parents, out of everyone, will always be the ones to leave the house with a bag full of wipes and muslins.

It's not like they aren't well equipped to clean up their mess!

OP posts:
Pricelessadvice · 20/05/2026 11:34

You can always tell when a table has been occupied by a family with young children because there’ll be mess everywhere and food all over the floor.
It just shows the general attitude of people nowadays.

Mclaren10 · 20/05/2026 11:33

Uanbu and I wouldn't do it but I think some people go out to eat so they can make a mess and just walk away.

Chunkychips23 · 20/05/2026 11:33

I have a 1 & 2yr old. Sometimes it looks like there’s been a food fight once they’ve eaten. But as their parent, it’s my responsibility to clean up after them, not the staff. You wouldn’t leave your own dining room like that, so why would it ever be acceptable to leave a restaurant table/floor in a state. And what are you modelling to your children!