AIBU to expect parents to tidy up in cafés?

I'd probably give the child and their surroundings a bit of a mopping up with a muslin or napkin but no more. It's for the cafe staff to get the dining area ready for the next customer.

A good business wouldn't expect their customers to start cleaning. I was a good business that is why I just got to it and cleaned without a fuss!

But if a child is small enough to make a mess, surely a parent has wipes etc on them?

I just sweep up the mess and put the wipes on the dirty plates.

I don't make it immaculate because as a customer I'd want a proper staff wipe as per the other tables, but I leave it no worse than if adults shared the meal.

It sets a good example to the children too, my son and all his little pals get involved with wiping and stacking plates too.

I do this too, I took my 2 year old and 10 month old to lunch on Monday and made a terrible mess as expected. I got a couple of baby wipes and got the main pieces off the floor and wiped the table! I’d be embarrassed if I left our table in a state. I know it’s not my responsibility but I wouldn’t be able to help myself

But what are you defining as 'cleaning'? If your DC made the same amount of mess pps have described, would you literally walk away from it and expect the staff to clean it all up, just because that's what you did when you had a business? Because if so, I think it's highly ironic that you're preaching about manners and courtesy.

I never see this tbh! I only have one as well but I always clean up after him. I actually prefer it when staff give me a dustpan when I ask for it, when I ask and get told they'll clean it, I always end up picking up the bulk of it with a wet wipe which is way dirtier for my hands than if I'd had the brush and pan!

Are you sure staff didn't tell them to leave it? That's the only thing I can think of!

Though I do see the state of most highchairs 🤢

Well if young families don't want the label of being ignorant then they only have to make sure they don't do things like make an awful mess and walk away from it.

It was one of the staff who made the comment about preferring dogs to children and I can understand why.

If you were happy to clear up after lazy entitled parents then good for you but no one should have to clear up a disgusting mess. If your business had had decent customers they would have cleaned up after they and/or their children made a mess.

You say you don't expect to start cleaning in a cafe so does that mean if you leave a mess of crumbs, cutlery etc all over the table you just up and leave? If so that is not something to be proud of. I would not say you were a bad person but certainly and entitled slob

I went to the cinema and a seat in front of me had tape on it to signify it was not to be used.
Half of the sponge of the seating was missing as if someone had been taking chunks out of it. Someone had sat on/next to it, and had picked the seat to bits. Totally baffling as to why anyone would do that, or allow anyone to do that.

Unfortunately there's a whole "why should I" culture that has set in across most groups in society now.

It's bloody horrible.

See your whole post is the actual problem that society is facing today. " The young families are terrible and dogs are fantastic, narrative. The attack that young families face is alarming. Yes children make mess, and as a business that is profiting from their parents custom, part of that includes tidying up after them. It is very very expensive to eat out even in the most basic of cafés. Restaurants are more focused on pandering to dogs than being child friendly. I find this utterly abhorrent. It is highly unprofessional for anyone working in any cafe/restaurant to comment on another customers mess or conduct, so another customer can overhear. Which is another problem society faces. A lack of good customer service. Well trained and well mannered staff.
I ran a business that catered for mostly young families. Those children did make a mess, and I cleaned it up without fuss or comment, I would have been highly embarrassed if I thought any of my customers had to help clean up, or felt they had to not attend to their very young children in order to clean after I was profiteering from their custom.
Now that I am the one with the young children I would like the same courtesy that I once shown my customers, shown to me. I do not expect to start cleaning in a restaurant or cafe that I have paid good money to be in. If that makes me a bad person so be it!

So glad to hear this. I went to the cinema recently for the first time in years and couldn't believe the carnage left behind. Not just popcorn everywhere, but all of the rubbish just left on the floor.

Totally agree OP and I had 3 under 4.5. I always wiped down the table and highchair with a wipe and threw rubbish in the bin. This was talked about on threads before and I was told this was an obvious signifier that I'm from a very working class background (I'm not).

I own a cafe and I've got to say the vast majority clean up, I don't know if it's area dependant or what but I very rarely see anyone just leaving it all for us to do

I agree with this. Lots of people though don't put cups and/or cutlery on the plates but just leave them scattered over the table - just why I don't understand.

Me and DH went to a cafe recently and a couple with 2 young children were just leaving. Their table looked like a food factory had exploded!

There were crumbs, crusts of bread, bits of food literally all over the table and floor. There was spilled drink on the table. All the cutlery was just scattered over the table. The plates were left just as they were when being used so not even together. There was smears of ketchup on the table. Also crumpled up napkins on the table and floor.

The 2 young guys working there just looked at the table and then each other and rolled their eyes. One muttered "great". We had our dog with us and one of them said "I would rather have 10 dogs in here then people like that.

It took them a fair while to clean it all up and had to get a hoover out for the floor

It’s about being respectful isn’t it? Most of us reasonably know serving staff are expected to wipe down the table, sweep underneath etc, but would make some attempt to deal with the aftermath of a blw food massacre. Same if you go to the loo in said restaurant to change the baby’s nappy. You know the changing table is wiped down regularly by the staff, but if your baby has a poonami on it you’d clean it up, not think ‘oh someone’s paid to do that’.

If it was something that might present a trip hazard I'd pick it up but I'm not asking for a dustpan and brush.

I always make an effort to clean up. However it's very easy with a baby, even more than 1 baby. Where I struggled was when eldest was 3/4 and would run off,, keeping both kids safe while doing more than the bear minimum was sometimes impossible and the kinder thing for staff was to clear out with the kids.

That seems fair enough @WhatNoRaisins but I used to try and pick bits up off the floor if my child had dropped it there, not crumbs but things that could be picked up.

It depends on the place. I've been to places where you put everything on a tray and take the tray to a rack. Otherwise I'd put the cutlery and cups on the plates and make a neater pile for the staff to take away. I wouldn't be wiping tables or cleaning the floor any more than I'd be offering to go to the kitchen and help cook the food, it's not for the customer to do those things.

So, what would you clear and what would you leave for the staff to do?

Now you're just deflecting. And your defensiveness is coming off, rightly or wrongly, like you're one of the people who leaves a mess for other people to clear up.

In my opinion the staff are there to remove the plates and give the table a quick wipe that's all.

YANBU - this drives me mad! Some people leave such a mess it is embarrassing