to think some retired people completely forget what it’s like to be working full time?

I think the truth is that whatever your situation you struggle to remember or realise what life is like on the other side and can have a 'grass is greener' perception that the other person's life is easier.

When ex DH and I swapped roles and I worked full time was he was sahd this became immediately clearer. He recognised that my day hadnt been all playdates and coffees and I could appreciate that 'swanning off to the office' for grown up time wasnt always the bed of roses it had seemed.

My parents are always 'busy' but I am glad for them. I have to accept that they are older so a day out of the house is more tiring for them even if it is 'just' hospital appointments and lunches. Navigating an increasingly tech driven world of contactless parking, electronic check in, busier roads etc is harder for them than it is for me.

Yes I hear you. When my mum says 'you work too many hours' I wonder how she thinks i would pay my bills if I didnt, but its easier to be calmer when you remember that everyone is a product of their environment and it is easy to forget how the shoe fits on the other foot.

That said some people are judgemental knobs, at all life stages including but not limited to retirement, and thats just life

Did I write that? No I didn't. You just made that up.

I don't want my aunt to look after my mum.

I want my mum to pay for a carer. She can afford to pay for one but refuses to do so, as she "doesnt want someone coming into the house"

But you want your aunt to look after your mum?

I have one older brother and I won't be looking after him.

What upset me was my aunt didnt text me nicely and ask me if i could do something to help my mother.

My aunt texted me and said "you should be ashamed of yourself. Why are you not here looking after your mother".

Her message made me cry. I replied that i have to work.

most of us don't?
I can spend 5mn on MN while I am waiting for a phone call or when I print something. I haven't got 45mn to watch tv, I do need sleep at some point.

Evenings are for the gym, finishing a few bits from work and studying. Other people have kids that demand more attentions, have to meal prep etc.

Well because most retired people are pensioners. That's what the word pensioner means, you are retired therefore you collect your pension so you are a pensioner. Carnt belive I'm explaining this.

Suggest that your elderly neighbour asks her gardener to include her neighbour's front yard along with her own for a few months.

Tell her it would be so kind and akin to winning Tattslotto for the young working Mum.

Everyone's health dictates their capacity for life. Everyone's best is different.

And, many retirees look after grandchildren for 8 hrs a day til the children attend school. And then limit their activities (fun and chores) to school hours to give pre and post school care. Often without payment. Most have worked full time for 40 years or more before this retirement.

My mum NEVER worked!!! She stopped shortly after they got married to have my sister - this was back in the 1970s

She has literally NO IDEA of what it’s like working full time and doing everything in the house.

As a result I find it very difficult to speak to her - me saying I’ve got to go now I’ve got work to do means she replies with all the jobs she ‘has to get done’ - washing her hair, put a wash on etc etc - you know, all the things us working people manage daily to fit in with working full time!!!

I definitely won't be!

My parents are late70s early 80s. My dad will send a message to the family group chat at 8am and wonder why no one has replied at 4pm - because his children and several of his grandchildren have full time jobs and no time for WhatsApp! He phones me instead (I don’t work due to health issues).

This.

My parents retired and house paid off and pensions taken early in 1990s of £60K between them. Ranting about how much they had to do and about how poor they were !!!
as they retired and bleating about how poor they were (!) they had two houses completely paid off and both retired at 50! One is 85 and one is 80. My mother worked from aged 30-50 and has spent over a decade longer retired than working.

When I was a single parent I always had to drive 300 miles to see them as they were busy ! Swapping library books mainly!!

So you dont have any free time in the day? How come other full time parents manage to make time fir themselves

Pressed the wrong one! I meant YANBU

stop explaining if its winding you up. Your responses are entirely in your control OP.

Try "never explain, never complain" for a week and see how you feel

So i guess you'll be looking after your siblings in old age?

Couldn’t agree more. I worked my socks off from 18. Also had caring responsibilities from a young age. No washing machine and no car.
Not quite ‘shoe box in middle of the road’ but you get my drift.

And now I am retired and enjoying a much calmer pace of life.

Don’t make assumptions about me and my life and I will do the same for you.

I’m sure it’s the same for anyone whose life has changed in some way. When you have kids you forget what it was like no not have them, when they’ve grown up and left home you forget what it was like to have small children at home etc etc.

I’ve been retired 7 years but the novelty hasn’t worn off yet. I’m still absolutely thrilled not to have to get up at 7am to go to work.

You dont have time to watch a bit of tv in the evening?

I got a nasty message from my aunt once for not taking care of something for my elderly mother.

I pointed out that I was working.

My aunt also is retired.

That’s my MIL! My DH works from home on a Friday, so she thinks he’s not actually working and wants to come over and be hosted, then gets offended when he disappears for an hour for a Teams meeting. He’s fed up of explaining he’s still working, just not in the office.

Exactly, which is why you shouldn't be judging pensioners because you have no idea