to think some retired people completely forget what it’s like to be working full time?

Many of what generation? Those early in retirement definitely have experience of both working while having children - that’s been the case for a very long time. My mum would have been 96 next month and she worked when I was little - as did many of her contemporaries. She wasn’t unusual.

They just don't think about work at all.

You mean your relatives - your mistake is trying to "win" the conversation and prove how very busy you are by explaining- they don't want to hear it. If your mum gets or got her value from cooking from scratch bully for her but she's not you. You can't stop people saying things you can only alter your reaction. So tell your mum that if all she wants to do is criticise then you will leave the house.

I was recently chatting to an elderly neighbour, who said she could 'never work out' where we go every day...Work. We go to work. She looked very surprised!

One day you will grow an understanding, but it won't happen overnight. Bit by bit you will understand the toil age takes on people's health, especially for those who have not been life-long shirkers. Bit by bit you will find things more difficult to do, like being out of breath after having run after a bus, you will find your fingers less compliant when you try to play an instrument or even buttoning things. And I am not talking 70-year old, I am talking 45 - that is when all functions begin to diminish.
In any case, they deserve to say 'tired/exhausting', they have worked all their lives (I assume). They have done their 40 hours per week, plus managed to look after the garden.

Ehh. Exactly What this thread is talking about.

Retired people like my aunt, don't seem to realise that people have jobs and responsibilities.

My auntie expected me to be able to drop everything to help my mother even though i work full time and live two hours away.

My aunt doesnt think about people's work responsibilities, because she doesnt work herself.

My mum worked as a doctor till she was 60. She’s now 85. When we meet, she pleads with me not to text or call in the week. She says, ‘even a text takes time when you are busy with life and stressed’. No guilt trip at all from her.

I had almost two years off working due to ill heath. When I went back to work part time I was exhausted and really struggled with everything and that was part time. I remember wondering how I managed full time on top of everything else. Now im back in full time work including studying part time on top of house and kids but I find this a lot easier then when I started working again after 2 yrs off.

Oh give over.

My parents moan about being exhausted from rolling out of bed at 8:30, gardening, having a kip in the day and lazing around all afternoon. Does my head in

But OP hadn't wrote 2 lines. OP has started a thread and keeps responding. In this time OP could have watched TV show instead

So whats the relevance of your aunt being retired?

I’m late 50s and my dh is mid 60s. We have separate houses. I work full time and he is retired. His busy day consists of hoovering and shopping. I do more than that before I leave for work at 7.30am then start again when I finish. I also run a social group and sometimes do work in the evening.

I think it is important to avoid generalisations.
I am acutely aware of how busy my AC are with their families; but what they do not know is how the buggerations of declining health during later years can make small things more of an effort than one might imagine when young and fit.

No I didn't write that at all actually. Go back and look. You made that up

I wrote "my aunt is retired". Full stop.

The point being that retired people dont realise that we have to work. My auntie seems to think i can just drop everything to help my mother, even though i work full time and live two hours away.

My aunt doesnt think about me working, or the responsibilities of work, as she is retired.

My exMIL was the same and always very vocal.

I’m sure she was a busy woman as a teacher and mother of 4, but she conveniently always forgot to include her 3 maids (one of them live-in) in the equation.

No im not. You're the one who said your aunt was retired so she can deal with your mum.

I remember when my dad retired then asked me to do his Christmas shopping for him as he was too busy golfing. I did put that down to him being a sexist old git rather than forgetting what it was like to have a job.

I understand OP. When I'm reaching burnout I'm told to make time for myself- as if! With work and kids it's a full schedule, all the time.

if it takes you the same amount of time to write 2 lines than it takes you to watch an entire movie, I can see why it's puzzling for you 😂

I know! Its mumsnet busy olympics

Let me guess. You are of retired age? As you seem to think I am just selfishly refusing to take care of my mum, when in fact I HAVE TO WORK. I have a job.

Except when I worked time I rarely did any of those things because work stopped me, so now I do them and don’t have time for work. It’s a way of recognising how bloody horrible it was to be busy with things I didn’t choose and how nice it is to be busy with things I did choose.

you know what they say, if you want something done, ask a busy person.

Some people can genuinely not comprehend what being busy mean. How many posters on here, old or young, that's irrelevant, are so BUSY but spend their time watching tv and their weekends in pjs slobbing around 😂

It's not just retired people, it's people who are also very disorganised.

You speak for most of us? Surely it's how you organise your day and prioritise things. For all my kids ive managed to have down time and a career