There is nothing positive to achieve from being vile towards retail staff. Why act this way?

You are so right. And the sad thing is, is that when you direct that kind of ugliness to others (esp those in 'lower' or subservient positions to you, who cant lash back), it makes you feel ugly and horrible inside as well. When you are civil and polite it makes you feel better about yourself too. The relief bullies and insecure people get from being rude in the moment, is so fleeting.

My FIL was always rude to people he believed were ‘beneath’ him, especially waiters. I always had to apologise for his behaviour. He would often boast about what he’d said to people too, like he thought it was funny and others would be impressed. I’m probably too far the opposite. I say thank you and sorry to the point it must get very annoying!

Completely agree OP. I worked in a supermarket for 5 years (1997-2002) and really, really loved working there. The majority of customers were nice people. Even on a Saturday afternoon when we never had enough staff on and queues were going down the aisles, people didn’t take their frustration at having to wait out on the staff. I was the checkout supervisor (from when I was 17) and technically shouldn’t be on a till because I needed to be available to run price checks, authorise things with a key on the till, once 18 I could approve under 18’s selling alcohol, etc - but I used to jump on the basket only checkout and call customers over one at a time (so if I did have to leave, I wasn’t leaving a customer waiting even longer) to try to get the queues down a bit. People were always grateful that I was trying to do something, and I was always apologetic about the wait times. I don’t remember anyone being rude or abusive.

These days people get so angry if they have to wait more than a few seconds. If queues in a supermarket trigger you that much, do one of these:

1. Order a home delivery
2. Go to the supermarket at non-peak times (after 7pm it usually quietens down or go during the day in the week)
3. Go to small, individual shops or market stall for your shopping where it will cost you more but you’ll be less likely to have queues
4. Ask someone else to do the shopping for you

What you shouldn’t do is take it out on the poor sods in the supermarket who will be trying their best to help you. Even if you receive poor customer service, it doesn’t give you the right to be rude. You lose the moral high ground if you are! Write a complaint afterwards for sure, ask politely for what you need in the moment - but don’t be rude or abusive.

Yes the waiting for unexpected items is annoying but ive never had it happen 5 times in one shop!

As you've said, if you know these very normal sounds and issues are things that bother you its on you as an adult to take steps to mitigate them - go to the normal check out, wear headphones, go late at night or early morning, shop online.

Besides which there's a difference between not being polite to retail staff and being abusive. If you don't want to say "thanks so much" with a big smile when staff have been hanging around chatting rather than coming to help, dont. But there's no need to shout abuse or insult them.

If you really want to moan about poor service do it through the appropriate channels - go to customer services or email head office. It's pointless taking it out on the customer facing staff who usually completely agree with you that the shop should have more staff on and the machines are useless etc - they bace no power to change it!

The thing i find the most irritating working in retail is when your helping a customer and everyone can see your helping a customer but other customers think its completely acceptable to interrupt and ask for something. Its like do you want me to just tell the customer im already serving to piss of just so I can help you as your so special and important

I'm not rude myself, and not condoning it

But OP asked why customers are rude

Definitely, but ask for a manager - we shouldn't take it out on the cashiers etc.
Or complain to Head Office.

So you take it out on the one member of staff doing the job of 3 people

Anyone that has to deal with the general public gets abuse, it's awful. People seem to just generally be arseholes these days.I don't know what's made them so brave that they think it's OK. Trouble is if you pull anyone up you just get a mouthful back. It's definitely got worse since Covid - what happened to a kinder world?

I couldn't agree more. I was head hunted for the company I work for because as a customer I was always polite and respectful. One of my workmates was a little miffed that she wasn't approached.

When I started I asked why me and not said colleague, and was told that she was too aggressive and rude and wouldn't be a good fit.

I was in Asda trying to buy a cheap phone for my daughter (a non smart phone) and I was honestly shocked by how - in the 15 mins I was there waiting for help and being dealt with by a really lovely lady - three people came and made a fuss and were awful to her. For… nothing. Like all the anger in their lives was spilling out on whoever was near them.

I work as a teacher and luckily I haven’t experienced any rudeness like this from parents. So not all person-facing jobs. It’s probably because I work in a privileged area where people are less angry about the status quo because it works for them.

It’s because of inequality - and the right wing internet stirring up outrage and fury and hate to distract from the billionaires hoarding the money who are the actual problem.

It never fails to amaze me that these people are to stupid to realise pissing off the person who’s help they need are going to do fuck all for them

I agree. I had a Saturday job when I was at school then spent many yeara as a sales rep. Having been on the "other side" I get it.

If it's my local Sainsbury's, customers are frustrated by one member of staff half heartedly supervising 20 self service tills that don't work properly

If the shop gave decent customer service, customers wouldn't be snappy

I’m disabled.

i can confidently say I’ve only been rude to staff three times. I have broken down in tears over the way I have been treated multiple times.

members of the public (henceforth mops) can be very very rude to staff.

staff can also be horrendously behaved in particular to people with disabilities.

frequently a service that is advertised as disabled friendly isn’t. A member of staff might say “oh I’m sure you can manage those steps can’t you?”

I genuinely go to a lot of effort to always try and be polite and upbeat to members of staff even when they are totally dismissing me, but by god it takes some control.

Always thought everyone should experience work in retail or hospitality type jobs. People that behaved ridiculously were always the talking point of the staff room. Luckily we had an excellent manager who always had our back and took no crap from customers

You shouldn't expect people to manage your sensory overload...And you shouldn't be rude to someone who doesn't have the control over your circumstances...

But there's a big difference between complaining - which surely can be done politely and calmly - and being rude to shop floor staff who are not personally responsible for any of the things you've described in your post and may feel just as wound up as you by them.

I agree that a lot of customers can be rude and most staff in supermarkets do a good job and are professional. However, if people’s levels of entitlement have gone up and manners and respect for others gone down, then that must include the (often young) retail staff too. They are people too after all. I have seen a lot of inappropriate behaviour by staff in supermarkets lately. The other day I walked past two women employees in Sainsburys with my 4-year-old, only to clearly hear, “his knob was fucking massive”!! There was no attempt to whisper, they could clearly see me and my child. If I hadn’t been with my dc I probably would’ve laughed it off but it made me angry that she had to overhear that. I often see staff standing around chatting when people are at a malfunctioning self-service checkout and need help and staff are completely oblivious. I’ve seen young male staff in the aisles messing about trying to carry loafs of bread on their heads, dropping them, then putting them back on the shelves. Been blocked in the aisle by multiple members of staff standing around chatting, and, as I mentioned earlier, no attempt ever seems to be made to ensure the conversation is appropriate to be overheard by customers

I work retail (think golden arches) and the abuse I've taken is unreal

I will do my best to help but im sick of taking abuse when it's not my fault

People will scream at me 'I've been waiting 20 minutes!' (It's always 20 minutes) and when I check,its been 3 minutes

I had a bloke come in and scream at me because he'd ordered his breakfast with a diet coke

He got his breakfast with a diet coke but it was all my fault as he wanted an orange juice and instead of asking me nicely to change it,he punched me in the face

Another was during that eat out to help out

We where heaving and it was either wait for a table or takeout-i had zero control over tables

A woman walked in and started screaming that I had to move a family off 'her' table so she could have it

She grabbed my ponytail and yanked when I refused

A bloke shoved his hand up my top when I said good morning to him

Im done to be honest,im good at my job and if you came in and be polite,ill move mountains for you but abuse me and fuck you

I'm very much in the camp of treat people how you want to be treated.

but have noticed a decline in the standards of customer service. Staff carrying on a conversation with each other while serving, making the customer feel like an inconvenience happens all too often these days as an example. Equally standing at self service waiting for a staff member, who are too busy discussing their weekend to notice or help. Again something that happens way more often than it should. That in no way excuses rude customers, but it shows a general decline in standards.

i hate, as a customer, to feel like my presence is an inconvenience.

DH and I both worked hospitality for years (that’s how we met, in a Wetherspoons - very romantic I know). People have always been like that. They’re especially rude to young women, I cannot count the amount of 18 year old girls who would run into the kitchen or office crying because some waster had yelled at them over something that’s out of their control. I used to take great pleasure in kicking them out and loudly saying the girl they made cry was 18. People were also super rude to DH but it’s a different kind of rude. It was more blokes who wanted a fight… always the ones who would definitely lose if he took them up on it as well. I think with that it’s because they know he can’t actually scarp them.

I think people do it to feel powerful because they know staff can’t react. As soon as I became a manager though I did start being rude back, and we had a general rule in our pub that was you can’t use profanity but if they start on you you are allowed to start on them back. A lot of places don’t allow that though and subscribe to “the customer is always right”. I hate that phrase with a passion. I prefer “the customer is always right but you are guests and guests can be asked to leave.”