Partner won't pay back what he spent

Please speak to Women’s Aid because this is financial abuse as others have said.

Take copies and make sure you have all/any documents relating to finances safely secured somewhere outside the home.

Sorry if I missed it OP but are all the children his?
Also tell him you’ll be deducting what he owes you from the 50/50 rent.
That you’ll not be cheated of what he owes you.

Alternatively start hiding items of his expensive hobby in preparation for selling them to recover your loan.

Who are the women who raise these turds??

Yes she would have to sue him for breach of contract but I don't think she has much of a case.

It would be his word against hers and OP says this occurs regularly in their house, she allows him to use her card and he doesn't pay it back. It's a normal set up for them. He will just say they share her card as a family.

I don't know why OP is on here complaining about him when it's her doing it. She knows he won't pay it back but she lets him spend it anyway.

Stop paying rent for a property that you arent on tenancy for
cancel your credit card
use the rent money on a new house and leave
once you've done that you can address why you allow men to treat you this way

Tell him that 'as he has not paid money owed to you for his expenditure on your credit card, you are unable to give him any money towards the rent, and he will need to cover that with his bonus'.

If I were you, I'd then pay the monthly minimum on your credit card, and save the rest hard so that you have some funds you can use to leave him and set up your own home. Tackle the credit card debit afterwards.

Can you cancel the holiday? Losing the deposit may be cheaper than going on the holiday.

he said to me 'act like a c and you'll be treated like a c'

He knows he treats you badly. He’s even brazen enough to tell you to your face that he knows he treats you badly!

The only question is whether you are willing to accept it or not.

If you're paying most of the kids' expenses, he's not paying his way. Does he pay towards bills etc?

Don't let him near your credit card ever again. Look into leaving. Speak to the council about social housing.

Stop paying rent

recoup that way and work on finding a new place

That is so horrible of him.
i’d seriously consider how this relationship can survive this.
my heart goes out to you

Reduce your share of the bills by £100 till it is paid back.

In the interim, do not lend him any more money or subsidise him.

I would make plans to end the relationship to be honest, its not a partnership, he is a selfish twat that is prepared to see you and your kids struggle whilst going back on his word.

you deserve better & the kids deserve better

My next rent payment to him would be the usual rent minus the credit card amount.

Clearly financial abuse.

This.

You are being way too passive here, OP and he is relying on that.

Whatever you do, do NOT let him use your credit card ever again.

I would end the relationship
pointless being with him

It cant be in just his name and she lives there with the children- hes lying. Every adult occupying has to be on the tenancy

If the rental is in his name, he is liable. Not OP

She doesnt pay her share
He refuses to pay his
She is liable for both shares - as is he - but who currently has good credit ?

If the rental is in his name and you pay half - I’m guessing you pay half to him? Stop! Or at least deduct what he owes you from your half of the rent. He will have to make up the gap - only fair. If he asks you to pay it, just refuse (the same way he is refusing).

Then do whatever you can to save up some money and move you and your kids out of there. Good luck

Oh and cancel or transfer your current credit card, so you have a new number he doesn't know and won't be saved in his phones settings. Keep the new card a secret. Say you're not having any more cards as he clearly cannot be trusted to pay them off, and you're not paying his debts off for him. THEN inform him you won't be paying rent until the debt is paid off.otherwise the danger is, he spends on your card. Then follow the advice above about seeking professional help with this. He's never going to change. In fact, he will probably get worse and ruin your credit history too.

Your partner is abusive, probably an addict and has stolen from you. You are allowing this to happen. Go to Citizens Advice and work out how to leave and get financial support from both of your exes. What on earth is keeping you with this greedy, selfish abusive prick. You are the only one who can fix this.

2 months missed and proceedings start,
If her name is on the tenancy she is liable for 100% of the rent not 50% and can be pursued for it. The councils create huge problems for people telling them to wait for the bailiff and then not assisting once they arrive

Realistically you can't force your partner to pay back the money. The credit card is in your name, and therefore the debt is your responsibility. Going forward, you will have no option but to pay back his debt on your credit card but now you know loud and clear where his priorities lay...with himself. He doesn't give a flying fuck about you or the children, his priority in life is himself. Never ever lend him money or allow him to use your credit card again.

His credit rating is that poor, no bank will allow him access to a credit card/loan etc. That tells you, he has the habit of running up debt and then can't pay or in your situation refuses to pay. His credit rating is poor for very good reasons and the banks not allowing him credit, is also for good reason.

As rent is high in your area and like a lot of high rent areas, finding a rental is near on impossible, you may have to play the long game. Bide your time.

So if OP doesn’t transfer the rent on the Monday they will be evicted on the Tuesday? Don’t talk daft! There are laws and protections for this. Even the councils will tell renters to not move out even if they are served with an eviction notice. Eviction is so far down the path. This will allow OP to pay of the debt and hopefully save so she can move out. Hoping OP stands up to the bullies as that is what this man is.

Also contact refuge as they can help get you somewhere safe to stay

Homepage - National Domestic Abuse Helpline https://share.google/tDQ10YY5sompKs4Gy

Source: The Law Society https://share.google/z0sIFp96BICVqB0Wp

Ive also signposted legal aid so you can look into solicitors when you are ready. My daughter sued her ex as he racked up a load of bills (she was giving him the money and he was " paying them " , he left and there was over £4000 in debt in both their names for rent and council tax) she was successful and received the full amount plus court costs

Legal aid: What you can get legal aid for - GOV.UK https://share.google/oVonrmxVll5lpm6qJ

You could go after your ex for the loan money too while you are at it.

Hes a fucking thief!!