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AIBU?

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For approaching alienated teen DS

31 replies

SlinkyMalinkyy · 19/05/2026 17:48

My teen son has been alienated from me after I separated from his Dad, I still see him for short periods but things are difficult.

Just saw him in our local supermarket with his mates and I made the mistake of approaching him to say hi. I said - hello, DS, what you up to? I said do you need any money for sweets etc. It was awful. He froze, backed away and told me to go away twice. I backed right off and said speak to you soon and quickly left the supermarket. I feel like such a fool for approaching him, especially in front of his friends, I feel like I showed him up and I’ve made a bad situation much worse. I’ll never approach him if I see him in public again, I feel like such an idiot 😔

OP posts:
Birdsong26 · 19/05/2026 18:21

Not sure what the above response is about but as a mum who has been alienated from their teenage child you have my sympathies. I think in normal circumstances we would likely not approach our children when with friends however I understand the heartbreak and desperation in wanting to see them and I know that any glimpse of them or any form of communication feels better than none. You are a mum. You approached your son. In normal circumstances you would brush it off but In these circumstances your mind is in overdrive, terrified you have made things worse. Please don't be to hard on yourself. I know it is easier said than done. I hope things get better for you.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 19/05/2026 18:20

If you don’t want to further alienate him then think before you act next time, obviously no 14 year old would want to be embarrassed in front of their mates in a shop. Don’t make it into a big thing feeling sorry for yourself, just move on and focus on anything that will help rebuild your relationship in the future, even if that’s just giving him space right now.

SlinkyMalinkyy · 19/05/2026 18:17

holachicatita · 19/05/2026 18:13

What age is your son? To be honest if I saw one of my kids with their mates I wouldn't approach them and they're not alienated from me. I would just let them hang with their friends

Yeah I wish I hadn’t now! He’s 14.

OP posts:
holachicatita · 19/05/2026 18:13

What age is your son? To be honest if I saw one of my kids with their mates I wouldn't approach them and they're not alienated from me. I would just let them hang with their friends

Poorluce · 19/05/2026 17:58

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Poorluce · 19/05/2026 17:57

Drop him a message to say “sorry about earlier, I was just so happy to see you that I didn’t think that it would be a bad time for you. As always, I am here if you want to chat / meet up / anything really. Love mum”