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AIBU?

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Dweetfidilove · 19/05/2026 20:35

Brahumbug · 19/05/2026 18:52

It would be difficult, but what is the alternative?

By the look of it, the alternative will be poverty in old age as well. So many people are saying why it's affordable, so it will be state pension or working to the grave.

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 20:34

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 20:30

I think it’s because they feel poor if they have to downsize to a medium latte. They literally have zero idea. They think that they are safe from the suggestions they make.

I'm lucky, I’m mortgage free with large amounts of savings. But I’m using the word lucky here and know that but for a few twists of fate I could be sleeping on the streets. It makes me more empathetic to others.

We buried my husbands brother last year when he died in his council flat from a massive drug overdose. He was just unlucky enough to fall in with a bad crowd when he was a teenager, his life destroyed, left with schizophrenia, just a few weeks of poor decisions in his teens and a life destroyed, he was lucky enough that his family helped. My husband was lucky he had a good group of friends. Both brothers lovely people, one happened to inherit some addictive genes and meet the wrong people.

I’ve always been highly intelligent but with adhd and autism. I’m lucky they interact in such a way I’ve been able to hold down a career although at massive cost to my mental health. I’m lucky to have an open mind to research lots of ways to cope with it. I’m lucky to have have had private healthcare and the money to explore lots of alternative therapies. All allowing me to function. I’ve probably had to work 100times harder than most to stand still. The fact I’ve been able to do this is a privilege and down to sheer dumb luck of things aligning. If any of those things supporting that luck had slipped, I could have been on the streets.

Im fed up of people just not getting it. Thinking that their perfect little lives are so because of hard work. A cleaner works hard, a policeman works hard, a worker in a care home works hard. Whether you are comfortable enough to be able to pay into a pension is just luck. Luck your skill set aligns with the weird hierarchy we have for jobs, luck that your brain formed in a certain way, luck you met the nice kids at school, luck you didn’t inherit some dodgy genes. Luck no one drove into the side of your car.

So when idiots tell you “you can’t afford to be self employed” when that is the only way you can operate in a work environment or to go into an HMO with three kids, or to sell Your kids 3rd hand clothes on vinted. It’s because their place of privilege means they have no idea.

Let them eat fucking cake ( from Gail’s Bakery)

Edited

So you as a relatively well off person have life experiences which mean you can imagine having no money, but nobody else who is also relatively well off can be the same?

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 19/05/2026 20:33

The pensions bill is linked to who’s getting it and how much it is. The benefits bill is the one that will grow if to few have private pensions. It also says people aren’t saving enough, not that they aren’t saving. It’s brought about by low wages and part time work or not working at all. Neets presumably are in the stats and we have a huge number of those over 18 years old. I think pension enrolment is compulsory now.

TonTonMacoute · 19/05/2026 20:33

If government keeps on making moves on people's pensions, and changing the rules re taxation every time they need more money, then each of those changes act as a deterrent to save for a pension. People need to have confidence that the money they put aside for their retirement will be there when they need it.

Alovelettertodivision · 19/05/2026 20:33

I currently have 3k at mid 30s.

I cant afford to save for a pension.

I thought we could do it after nursery. Then we had a big surprise tax bill. Still not sure how that happened. I am on a payment plan for £350 a month. My partner on £300. It finishes the month before our mortgage doubles (an increase of £700).

I just dont know. Hopefully it gets better at some point. If not then I will just have to keep working.

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 20:31

NorthXNorthWest · 19/05/2026 20:25

Sorry, I was being ironic.

Usually when somebody posts their own experience, as you have, someone will come along and explain why your experience is apparently not relevant or simply “luck”, so therefore you do not really understand the hardship being discussed.

My comment was more of a counterbalance to the Peak MN yummy mummy comment a few comments before.

Edited

Ahh, ok. I missed the earlier “yummy mummy” comment, I likely just scrolled on by them!

You are correct, there will be 3 Yorkshiremen waiting in the wings to say how lucky we were 😆. (Side note, we had a decent childhood, I have no idea how my parents did it!). There will also likely be a whole bunch of people who want to claim I’m too privileged to understand there are poor people out there and how dare I have an opinion. Maybe peak MN is failure to understand nuance.

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 20:30

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 20:03

Yep. Speaking from a place of privilege in their ivory tower.

Funny how you don't see someone on NMW start a thread about anyone else like them should be forced to ilve in a house share.

I swear sometimes that the more money you have, the more you lose empathy.

Edited

I think it’s because they feel poor if they have to downsize to a medium latte. They literally have zero idea. They think that they are safe from the suggestions they make.

I'm lucky, I’m mortgage free with large amounts of savings. But I’m using the word lucky here and know that but for a few twists of fate I could be sleeping on the streets. It makes me more empathetic to others.

We buried my husbands brother last year when he died in his council flat from a massive drug overdose. He was just unlucky enough to fall in with a bad crowd when he was a teenager, his life destroyed, left with schizophrenia, just a few weeks of poor decisions in his teens and a life destroyed, he was lucky enough that his family helped. My husband was lucky he had a good group of friends. Both brothers lovely people, one happened to inherit some addictive genes and meet the wrong people.

I’ve always been highly intelligent but with adhd and autism. I’m lucky they interact in such a way I’ve been able to hold down a career although at massive cost to my mental health. I’m lucky to have an open mind to research lots of ways to cope with it. I’m lucky to have have had private healthcare and the money to explore lots of alternative therapies. All allowing me to function. I’ve probably had to work 100times harder than most to stand still. The fact I’ve been able to do this is a privilege and down to sheer dumb luck of things aligning. If any of those things supporting that luck had slipped, I could have been on the streets.

Im fed up of people just not getting it. Thinking that their perfect little lives are so because of hard work. A cleaner works hard, a policeman works hard, a worker in a care home works hard. Whether you are comfortable enough to be able to pay into a pension is just luck. Luck your skill set aligns with the weird hierarchy we have for jobs, luck that your brain formed in a certain way, luck you met the nice kids at school, luck you didn’t inherit some dodgy genes. Luck no one drove into the side of your car.

So when idiots tell you “you can’t afford to be self employed” when that is the only way you can operate in a work environment or to go into an HMO with three kids, or to sell Your kids 3rd hand clothes on vinted. It’s because their place of privilege means they have no idea.

Let them eat fucking cake ( from Gail’s Bakery)

Summerhillsquare · 19/05/2026 20:30

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 17:22

I agree but there are millions not in work and the number is rising.

Nope. From the ONS:

Following an increase in the employment rate since early 2012, there was a decrease from the start of the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. There was an increase from the end of 2020, followed by a decrease between mid-2023 and early 2024. The rate then increased until mid-2024 and has been relatively stable since.
The employment rate increased in the latest quarter (January to March 2026), but remained largely unchanged over the year since January to March 2025.

A guide to labour market statistics - Office for National Statistics

Explanation of the major concepts that exist within the labour market and their relationship to each other.

https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/employmentandemployeetypes/methodologies/aguidetolabourmarketstatistics#employment

Ohfudgeoff · 19/05/2026 20:28

Lopella · 19/05/2026 18:51

This is such an awful post.

Removing my opt out literally leaves me short on what is already a very frugal lifestyle. Its nothing to do with managing my finances or a lack of education. I'm highly educated, and work in a professional job, have no debt apart from my mortgage, dont go on holidays, dont have any luxuries, buy second hand clothes, dont drive anymore and walk everywhere etc etc and still have nothing left over. I've nothing to cut back on.

But that's exactly the point - you wouldn't be cutting back on it if you dont have it in the first place.

Financial education isn't about having no debts or scrimping and saving where you can, it's about managing money so it works for you.

Dymaxion · 19/05/2026 20:28

Has anyone mentioned the change from defined benefits pensions to what are offered to most employees now ?

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 20:26

OneTealShaker · 19/05/2026 20:24

Of course they are not saving enough.

The are paying through the nose for the millions on benefits to have endless children and sit at home with minor ailments claiming benefits

Edited

Um, all the people you mentioned are grouped the same for the purpose of this thread.

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 20:26

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 20:22

I know, but there are people posting on this thread on NMW jobs, and some that earn even more, that can't afford to put into a pension.

Presumably anyone looking at the thread and knowing they genuinely can’t afford to add to a pension would know this isn’t about them. Bean Soup Theory and all that.

NorthXNorthWest · 19/05/2026 20:25

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 20:20

Erm what? Not sure I understand where you are going with this. Have you anything actually to add to the debate or just slipping in to some bizarre word salad?

Sorry, I was being ironic.

Usually when somebody posts their own experience, as you have, someone will come along and explain why your experience is apparently not relevant or simply “luck”, so therefore you do not really understand the hardship being discussed.

My comment was more of a counterbalance to the Peak MN yummy mummy comment a few comments before.

OneTealShaker · 19/05/2026 20:24

Of course they are not saving enough.

The are paying through the nose for the millions on benefits to have endless children and sit at home with minor ailments claiming benefits

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 20:24

GameOfJones · 19/05/2026 20:17

This is correct. We opened a pension for both of my DDs when they were 8 and 6.... I'm just kicking myself that we didn't do it sooner. We only pay in £25 a month each and will stop when they're 18 but it should be a decent sum.

I shall look in to this. She has a Child Trust Fund account that was opened with that scheme the government had in 2009, we’ve been adding to that. But that’s probably going to be eaten up by whatever additional stuff she needs as a disabled teen going to Uni.

Jardenalia · 19/05/2026 20:24

yellowhatonacapybara · 19/05/2026 17:26

The big problem for the self-employed (and I am one of them) is that given my income fluctuates significantly and I need to put aside money to live during the times I have lower incomings, locking money away, even with the tax benefits, feels like a very bad idea.

I totally agree, which is why paying in little but often - without fail, like you don’t not pay the mortgage - over many years is the only way to make it work. In my experience (30 years self-employed), but it’s not easy by any means 😔

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 20:22

FudgeFudy · 19/05/2026 20:19

Absolutely, there needs to be a balance. But the hard actuarial facts are that a 40 year old woman today in the UK can expect to live to 84-ish. You can access a private pension at 57. So yes if you know you'll be dead of some hereditary condition by 50, don't save into a pension. But otherwise, saying 'there's no point saving into a pension because you might be dead before you can get it' is just silly.

I know, but there are people posting on this thread on NMW jobs, and some that earn even more, that can't afford to put into a pension.

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 20:20

NorthXNorthWest · 19/05/2026 20:09

Someone will be along to tell you how lucky you were... Its not the same as someone with real hardship...

That is as much peak MN as any yummy mummy!

Edited

Erm what? Not sure I understand where you are going with this. Have you anything actually to add to the debate or just slipping in to some bizarre word salad?

FudgeFudy · 19/05/2026 20:19

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 20:13

There needs to be a balance between planning for the future, and living in the now.
Because there will be people thinking they are doing the right thing by cutting back on anything nice to save for a pension, and they die before they get to claim it.

Absolutely, there needs to be a balance. But the hard actuarial facts are that a 40 year old woman today in the UK can expect to live to 84-ish. You can access a private pension at 57. So yes if you know you'll be dead of some hereditary condition by 50, don't save into a pension. But otherwise, saying 'there's no point saving into a pension because you might be dead before you can get it' is just silly.

measuretwicecutonce · 19/05/2026 20:19

its dawned on me, the reason for all the panic is that they are realising that those who could be saving aren’t! Probably because they are working hard, paying shit loads of tax and thinking ‘we’ll live our lives whilst we’re young enough to enjoy it’. Oh and if we have nothing when we retire we’ll be the same as those that never worked/worked very little,

Not rewarding people for doing the right thing is/will come back to bite!

GameOfJones · 19/05/2026 20:17

HowdoyoureallyKnow · 19/05/2026 19:10

@BoredZelda you don't need to wait till 18 children can have one my 13 year old has had one for several years ( sipp) self invested personal pension .

This is correct. We opened a pension for both of my DDs when they were 8 and 6.... I'm just kicking myself that we didn't do it sooner. We only pay in £25 a month each and will stop when they're 18 but it should be a decent sum.

Icepop79 · 19/05/2026 20:15

I have virtually no pension provision. I’m self-employed and started paying into a pension at 29, but have never increased my woefully small monthly payments. I’m worried about it, but with school fees for the next 6.5 years, I have absolutely no money left over each month to increase my contributions. I had to extend my mortgage to cover the doubling up of school fees for my children for the next few years, so I’m already committed to working far beyond when I had hoped to retire. Realistically, I need to keep working until I’m at least 70-75. It scares the crap out of me, but there’s no other option - I simply won’t be able to retire. I’m in a high-level, demanding job so I really need to hope I can keep my marbles long into old age!

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 20:13

FudgeFudy · 19/05/2026 20:08

These conversations always go the same way, with loads of people talking as if there are only two groups: 'The Rich' who live high on the hog and will retire at 55 (latest), with seven-figure pension pots, and then 'Normal People', none of who have two pennies to rub together.

Yes there are a lot of people who truly can't save for a pension no matter what they do. And that is clearly a huge problem. However there are also a very large number of people who will, say, get a new car on PCP every three years because what's wrong with having a nice car if you work hard? Or they'll take a couple of foreign holidays a year because well you've got to get away haven't you, and you don't want to slum it in the UK. Or they'll get a dog which is obviously going to cost a fortune because, well, they like dogs. Or they'll borrow to tart their house up in whatever the latest style is (that will age like milk requiring it to be done again within the decade), because again you should be able to have a nice house if you work hard etc etc.

They do this sort of stuff and then say 'Oh but I don't have anything spare to put into a pension'. It is these millions of people whose heads need wobbling re pensions and who the government (or whichever organisation it may be) are trying reach, not the unfortunate people whose finances are truly precarious.

There needs to be a balance between planning for the future, and living in the now.
Because there will be people thinking they are doing the right thing by cutting back on anything nice to save for a pension, and they die before they get to claim it.

NorthXNorthWest · 19/05/2026 20:09

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 20:05

We are (now) two higher wage earners with a disabled child. We have not always been that way, but have both been paying in to our pensions since we started working. I worked in hotel housekeeping before minimum wage was a thing. I was living away from home and supporting another family member. I had a little disposable income and could have gone out drinking with my mates once a week, instead I did it once a month and paid into my pension. The reason I did this is because I saw my parents, who raised 3 of us on one very low wage, were always able to pay a little into their pensions, and insurance policies they had for us. The guy would come to the door for the money and mum always had it. We’d hide from the bloke who came for the money out of the TV, we’d put up with it when there were no more 50ps for the electricity meter at the end of the week, but that guy always got his money. My parents were adamant that money was the priority and that has always stuck with me.

Not that any of this is relevant to my point, which is based on the statistics available. They make it clear the 45% of people who are not paying into a pension, cannot possibly be entirely made up of people who can’t afford to.

Someone will be along to tell you how lucky you were... Its not the same as someone with real hardship...

That is as much peak MN as any yummy mummy!

FudgeFudy · 19/05/2026 20:08

These conversations always go the same way, with loads of people talking as if there are only two groups: 'The Rich' who live high on the hog and will retire at 55 (latest), with seven-figure pension pots, and then 'Normal People', none of who have two pennies to rub together.

Yes there are a lot of people who truly can't save for a pension no matter what they do. And that is clearly a huge problem. However there are also a very large number of people who will, say, get a new car on PCP every three years because what's wrong with having a nice car if you work hard? Or they'll take a couple of foreign holidays a year because well you've got to get away haven't you, and you don't want to slum it in the UK. Or they'll get a dog which is obviously going to cost a fortune because, well, they like dogs. Or they'll borrow to tart their house up in whatever the latest style is (that will age like milk requiring it to be done again within the decade), because again you should be able to have a nice house if you work hard etc etc.

They do this sort of stuff and then say 'Oh but I don't have anything spare to put into a pension'. It is these millions of people whose heads need wobbling re pensions and who the government (or whichever organisation it may be) are trying reach, not the unfortunate people whose finances are truly precarious.