Will we ever get our house back

Wrong post..

Just build one, then your kids can use it in the future! And encourage her to babysit, health permitting, as this would be great for your kids, her-and you!

Yep, when my dad got seriously pissed off with having to do a 600 mile round trip to change my grans light bulbs, he went and got her, brought her to his for a week and told her to find a house to buy. It worked, she found one in that week.

OP you sound like AI - I’m curious did you ask it to write your post?

Make it less inviting, OP. Kids have to go back into their own rooms, put her in anon bedroom. help her with house hunting. She has to help out.

If you don't, she'll stay permanently. I have put a couch that turns into a (kind of) bed, in our second living area for guests in my house, instead of a proper bed or putting kids out of rooms. This moves them on quicker 😂 and is less disruptive.

100% more practical.

Good luck op

I think your proposals sound good.

Interesting. Why do you think that scenario has any relation at all to the OP’s one? More unexpected conflations. 😊

Absolutely. Plus a camp /temp bed may help her move quicker

Is she not even looking?! 😱

Seriously? 6 weeks and you are looking at an end date already?

You are looking 3 to 4 months at least

Even if she found the perfect property tomorrow and offer accepted, it could be a chain and all sorts of shit can happen

Yep l agree, don't make things 'fit' better whatever you do. Less reason for her to move out. I think the naturally increasing pressure of the DC needing their own bedrooms back as time goes on, is your friend here.

Will it be temporary though?
MIL will now have her own bedroom (and maybe no need for things to go to storage after all).
Kids will recognise it as Grandma's room and as she has been so helpful will be seen as part of the family within the house.
Any talk of her moving out will be met with sadness and how we can't possibly do without her.

Tread carefully on this one.

Firstly, its great that your MIL has been helpful and that you all get on and the kids like her. That is something really worth saving and its clear she's been welcome in the short term, but there simply isn't the room on a long term basis. There's also the question of not having agreed to a long term solution.

Your plan sounds like a good one.. and also pps suggestions of thrashing it out with your DH first so you are on the same page.

I think I'd find out the storage info up front so that you can present it. In my experience people often gasp and say Oh that's so expensive, without really knowing or having researched it... so for those parts of the plan...have the real information handy.

You will all breath a lot easier without all the clutter and wiith your DC back in their own rooms again.

As it is becoming longer term i think I would be asking for a contribution to food, because although she sometimes helps with school run... she is really living with you rent free and that must be adding to overall bills.

Maybe she just doesn't know where or what to look for, so as you all get on well that's something you could discuss and maybe schedule a session of looking every week? So that she feels supported.

Best of luck.

I would be making it my mission to scour every single listing on rightmove that comes up daily!
I would also be befriending every estate agent locally and driving MIL round town scouting properties and dropping flyers through doors of potential properties! Anything to not have the MIL there any longer.
definitely insist your kids get their personal spaces back and the stuff goes in storage that’s unreasonable for any longer than a few days. You have to live!

Totally agree; if it doesn’t go the way you want first time, it’s difficult to bring it up again

Have the conversation just with your DH first so that you are on the same page and don't blindside him. Agree on what you two want before you present it to her.

Maybe she isn’t in a rush because she thinks it’s mutually beneficial?

This is why I think you agree a stance between you and DH. Ie put some things in storage, and set a time limit of x weeks to rent somewhere.

Then you speak to MIL about what you have discussed. If you don’t agree as a couple before then the decision may get made for you.

The cynic in me is thinking that she has no intention whatsoever of moving out.

If she didn’t find somewhere in 12 months she’ll not find anywhere in 6 weeks

I think it’s going to be extremely difficult to get rid

in your post you talk about how sad it is that family members are never 'wanted' enough and no one wants live with them. You speak about humanity. why didn't you want your aunt enough to tolerate living with her?

the reason you didn't want to live with your aunt is exactly what prevents others from wanting to live with their in laws. not because they lack humanity

Sounds grown up and reasonable, OP. Hope the conversation goes well.