Am I going to get the sack? AIBU?

OP I empathise. I can be rational in many areas of my life, but I too always fear losing my job. I think it's compounded by COL crisis and actually probably harks back to school days where 'a word' was always trouble!

Try to remember worrying won't change the outcome, and my best advice for any 'catch up' is to listen and let them do most of the talking. You can always follow up with an email if you feel there was something you should have said - but you can't take anything back!

It’s probs about the incident but not that you are in trouble, prob just covering all bases.

At first I thought you’d overstepped but realise you are his EA so it was appropriate you asked him to respond to her request for a meeting.

This! I have to give mine advance notice of scheduling 1-1s stressing that they are regular catch ups otherwise I get 14 anxious "can I have a quick chat" messages in teams.

I get your anxiety, it's something I always feel anxious about an unexpected meeting at work, I think I'm just mentally preparing myself for bad news. But it doesn't sound as if you have done anything wrong.

do you really need a handhold through every aspect of your job? I find the level of immaturity completely puzzling.

You'd think when you know your role, your current projects/ clients and you know what your boss does, that's enough clue? Or you are so behind you need to prepare because you have no idea what you are actually supposed to be working on? Is it that? 😂

If you need the full details, then have the catch-up now, when it's really not convenient, instead of wasting time to plan and prepare minutes in advance.

I know people like you, I avoid the like the plague, they're draining (and not terribly useful 😂)

You are definitely overthinking, if there was an incident at an away day they are perhaps getting everyone’s version of events. I highly doubt you would be given a pay rise if they were planning on letting you go etc.

Hi OP! Are you the person who posted the other week about hotel safety and hantavirus? If so, I know you mentioned you have health anxiety. I am no doctor, but is there a chance you are experiencing more generalised anxiety now? It’s a crazy world so totally understandable! Have you spoken to a health care professional or therapist?

Sorry if you’re a different poster - just thought I recognised the username.

All the best with your meeting. I’ve often fed back to managers that unscheduled ‘chats’ should have an additional note attached if there’s nothing to worry about. They are the worst, especially if you’re already anxious!

Why on earth do you think you would be getting fired, given that your drunken colleague who told her boss all the things she didn't like about him is being offered therapy?! I think you are massively catastrophizing.

There are lot of people in this thread who don't understand what being a PA entails.

Good luck OP, you won't be getting the sack but they might want to talk about what you did or didn't know relating to the away day. Maybe they need to clarify processes for this sort of thing in case you ever run into it again (god forbid). Just be open, honest, willing to hear feedback and above all don't panic about the meeting!

Bless you, so hard not to stress when drama has gone down.

If I were your manager it would be to advise you to distance yourself from
incidents like this in future, rather than getting enmeshed.

How do you cope in life?

If they were going to do any sacking why would they sack you and not her? It sounds like they aren’t going to be sacking her, so I can’t imagine why you’d be in the firing line (‘scuse pun).

What is the actual timeline of the drunkness/calls/meetings?

And who is the manager to you?

It probably is related to that event but nobody on here can tell you what it is

Why on earth would they sack you for hearing about it, but not sack your drunken colleague for actually doing it?

It's such poor management technique to schedule meetings without giving the other person any idea of what you actually want to discuss or what needs to be achieved.

Even if it is just 'I need to give you an update on XYZ' or 'I want to bring you into ABC project and need to give you the backstory'.

Nothing worse than someone saying that. I've had managers say that to me and I've found myself saying it to other people. It should be banned!

You're very likely over thinking it

So your manager wants to hear your version of what happened and check that you do know and did help to arrange meetings etc
They probably want to check that you are OK too. Nothing to worry about. I do t understand why you think there might be.

They probably just want your witness statement just to sit on file in case anything more comes of it.

So the 'quick chat' will be, can you tell me what happened at X event. They will probably jot down what you say and then ask you if it's a fair account and get you to sign it.

Nothing to worry about.

Mate, I thought I was good at catastrophising, but this is next level! It'll be absolutely fine. The fact the drunken colleague seems to have been treated with sympathy rather than disciplinary action is surely a sign they won't just be sacking you for something so minor you're not even aware you've done it!

I think you have nothing to worry about. She is going to have a few words about the incident that's all and direct it goes no further.

Things my unexpected catch ups have turned out to be:

My manager's wife is pregnant and he is making plans for his paternity cover.
The company is being bought out- still under wraps but we will be working on some confidential things in the lead up to the sale.
Someone I work closely with has resigned.
There's a new project group being set up they hoped I'd help with supporting.

This isn't how a UK insurance company fires people, trust me!

If you were a witness to what happened they might want to hear from you. If so just say what you saw, none of it is really your problem from what I understand.

Have you thought about getting help for your anxiety? I genuinely can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to spend so much time and energy thinking all about minor interactions. I’m a relatively senior manager, I put “quick catch ups” in people’s diaries all the time. I’m yet to sack any of them, or for it to be a particularly difficult conversation.

You’ve just had a payrise, something not commonly done before someone gets sacked. I think you’ll be fine.