To think some older women having tax payers funded ivf are hypocrites?

Of course they aren’t for kids for a lot of people . What’s wrong with that ?

I would hazard that someone as happy and content with their lot as you claim you are would never have started this thread. And then kept coming back to it, like a dog with a bone

I'm sorry, I have no idea what's going on with you or teen mum's, but you know exactly what conversations I've had, in my whole life?

Own. Bubble.

Get with the times ? You must be joking . The reality is that in these times young women who want a baby at a time when they have stability in their relationships and their lives can have abortions if they get pregnant and aren’t ready and thank god for that . If anyone is in the 1960s it is you, thinking that all women who want babies should drop everything such as careers, travel and life experience to have a baby in their 20s even if in unsuitable circumstances. And please look up the meaning of the word “gaslight” I know it’s a popular buzz word at the minute but you aren’t using it correctly.

I wasn't, no. But I'm the same poster who grew up in the "impoverished" area (your words not mine) where a LOT of my friends from school were. And a lot of them went onto benefits and never came off, some didn't.

They still didn't get the level of disrespect you're saying is rife everywhere.

I'm also a person with opinions who talks to other people with opinions. Not come across people with the opinions on teen mums you say is incredibly common.

@Spiderbug the rental market is so bad where I live me and my boyfriend were evicted from 2 houses suddenly when landlord announced he was selling on 2 separate occasions leaving me forced to move in with my parents for months on end in my late 20s/early 30s and commuting to work from a huge distance .I met my partner when we were young but we didn’t try for a baby until we had housing sorted which involved saving for a deposit and buying somewhere. There are basically a handful of rental properties available on the entire island of Ireland and thousands of homeless families already filling hotels and b&bs. Do you think I should have just bulled on ahead and risked becoming homeless and having to quit my job and burden my parents with childcare and a baby ? I mean I would have considered trying younger if circumstances were different. You act like older women are just drifting along being selfish for not trying younger . What do you expect people to do ?

Source? For the fact you're quoting that there's millions of abortions in people's mid 20s and the reasons people have had them?

No one is gaslighting you. We haven't told you that YOU haven't experienced disrespect from SOME people. We've just told you that WE have not come across it.

I know the "gaslighting" or "deliberate obtuseness" is what you thought about my post when I said I don't know anyone who has dissed teen mums for being a drain on tax payers, or my examples of the teen mums I've known who have been great mums and not a drain on anyone, and I've certainly never ever ever heard any of the women in my life who've used IVF (for a range of reasons) bitch or moan about teen pregnancies. The comment this other poster has made about your bubble is because you're pushing back on anyone who says "nah, never heard that, it's not the issue you think it is" rather than you going "oh, that's interesting, I guess there's a whole variety of opinions and experiences out there, I'd better have a think about who I'm hearing this chat from and who I'm surrounding myself with".

They're not uncommon in your circle but they are in the experience of everyone here telling you that.

And that's my exact point.

For a start hardly anyone who wants children waits until their late 30s to start trying . Most women would have been trying a good while before getting the ivf in their late 30s .Regardless, the money spent on those women is a drop in the ocean compared to people who bull ahead and have kids young in the wrong circumstances and then end up needing benefits for various reasons. So get over yourself . You didn’t do anyone any favours by having your child that young or save the state money . You don’t have any moral superiority here .

So you’ve had NHS intervention and you’ve made lifestyle choices that have meant you’re overweight and unhealthy, despite knowing your family history, but other people’s choices should mean they’re barred from treatment?

That’s where the hypocrisy is.

Everyone should have reasonable access to NHS resources to be healthy, but some of you can only see your own issues as worthy.

(I’m glad they’re working for you though, diabetes is horrible).

Why?

I’m not saying they shouldn’t be available, I’m pointing out the hypocrisy of people who think these are an acceptable use of funds but would deny the minimal IVF access available to a small group of women because ‘lifestyle’.

Do you disagree?

I've had lots of support with it through my GP. And have a large family history so had a predisposition. The only thing that's ever helped has been the GLP1 jabs, and the GP suggested that it was because they were intended for diabetics. (GP gave prior approval before I sourced them privately.)

🙄

True, in fact they’ve driven the medicalisation of obesity, something arguably just as much a lifestyle choice as delaying having children. And much more expensive to manage.

You are not on any sort of moral high ground here at all, though you seem desperate to cling at the notion that you are. Not that I condone women who criticise teen mums, i would have zero respect for anyone who is nasty to young mums like you have described and don’t think they have any moral high ground either. The reality is though that the vast vast majority of 35 year olds can still get pregnant . And that the nhs helps those who can’t . I don’t think expecting everyone to get pregnant at 16 or even 20 is a solution or good cost saving measure.