To think some older women having tax payers funded ivf are hypocrites?

On here. You just called other mums’ children a ‘mistake’ as you disapproved of their ages at birth.

But all teen mum's are just like you, right?

I am not bullshitting. I have never heard this ever. I knew a teen mum who was in school with me. Her kids are adults now, she's married to their dad, they've had wonderful lives, good jobs, great opportunities through sport and she's got a good career doing what she loves too.

I was in uni with a teen mum who lived at home while she studied with her mum helping look after the baby while she had lectured because she joined a society that I was involved with. She completed her degree and got a good job and was never a drain on anyone.

No, I am not bullshitting.

I agree. Society is heavily in denial about ageing. I've known women who seem genuinely stunned that they can't conceive in their late thirties because "I've already got two kids, I know I can get pregnant." You can't get pregnant anymore because you've aged, FFS. It's biology. It's happened to every generation that's ever lived. It's not a sign that something's wrong, it's the opposite.

Yeh and that’s why there is an age limit on ivf. Because most women can still get pregnant before 40 naturally . Thats why they don’t pay when you reach a certain age.

I take this thread as OP trying to get mumsnet to agree we shouldn't judge teen moms too harshly.

Should they not have waited until the right person came along? Should they have just had a child with any man who happened to be there at their "prime" age regardless of that man's suitability to be a partner and father?

I agree with this . I don’t think older parents are better parents just cos they have more “wisdom”. Some awful parents out there regardless of age

I know women who couldn't conceive in their TWENTIES and it turned out to be egg quality.

It's not all to do with age. Infertility is a crazy beast that could be thrown at anyone. Someone could have always had issues but not find out til they TTC in their mid/late twenties, and by the time they've realised they need to investigate, go through it and land on IVF as their way forward, THEN they're in their thirties.

And do you know what? If your weight is affecting your physical or mental health and you have tried and tried and tried to sort it but it's not happening for you, then YES have the jabs on the NHS.

OK I’ll bite.
That’s funny because I know a teen mum who has paid nothing into the system as they’ve never worked and now they and their child are being funded by benefits which will cost tens of thousands more than a round of ivf. So because I know a person who fits this criteria I guess it applies to all teenage mums by your logic?

For the record the NHS don’t pay for multiple rounds of IVF, the cut off age for NHS funded IVF is 40 and you must have had years of infertility or an illness (eg. Cancer) that has caused the infertility issues.

Yeah good one!
Firstly, you've got all your facts wrong as its age limited, plus I believe you dont get endless rounds, possibly only one 'free' go and its a postcode lottery at best.
Also I order to qualify you need to have multiple losses or been through years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive before you actually get to see a specialist! I'm sure every older woman envisaged trying to conceive a child would be best done through physically exhausting and mentally destroying rounds of chemical hormones.....

The 1980s wants its rants back - the level of teenage pregnancy has dropped massively. Now it's just benefits claimants, of whatever age, who get all the approbium.

I think there needs to be a national conversation about whether we "really" need (a lot) more children and therefore if we do things like fund IVF and give people benefits for more than two children, that sort of thing. People have views eg about climate change and needing carers for an aging population at each end of the debate, but there needs to be proper evidence and discussion.

Your situation is entirely different. You have a medical need. You're not 42 and wanting a baby because the love of your life didn't arrive until your fertility window closed. IVF isn't a luxury for you.

I’ll say the same to you as I said to my opinionated overweight, heart disease riddled high cholesterol male colleague banging on about how outraged he was, that ‘he’ should pay for ‘my ivf’ (self funded btw) via the nhs, whilst he was shovelling sausage rolls and samosas down his big gullet during working hours (when his loving wife had prepared a heart healthy lunch for him) … why on earth should I be forced to pay for your many medications and surgical procedures when you, yourself aren’t helping your own condition?
Soon wound his neck in.
For the record, it’s a postcode lottery, you have to fit certain very anal criterial and often donate your eggs in return for ‘free nhs’ treatment. Typically even then it’s 1 round AFTER IUI (which often the medical teams know won’t work) so unnecessary expense there as well.
educate yourself a little more before being quite so outraged.
im an older mum due to circumstance & medical conditions that prevented natural conception.
i had to save money to pay for IVF and every test, several private prescription charges for many months in between.
I traded my eggs for treatment for my son. Still cost me £2k for donor sperm and medication and over £6k for my second child. Had it not worked 1st time for my 2nd child I simply wouldn’t have her.

Fucking hell, the bitterness is just dripping from your posts.

Go outside and touch grass.

But whatever reason it is, egg quality, peri, dropping fertility, it's your AGE. It isn't infertility. Leave it late. Pay for your IVF unless there was already a known problem.

It's like me wanting weight loss jabs on the NHS. No!

It's common knowledge that women's fertility declines after 35. You'd have to be living under a rock not to have heard this.

Where is this substantial group of late 30s women who are making these offensive generalizing statements?

I know that most health authorities offer very limited ivf on the NHS and when we were on the waiting list there was an age limit. Over 40 and the answer was no.

I know. IVF is not routinely available either, the pp drew the comparison presumably hoping to highlight that all IVF is a luxury, like all cosmetic surgery. I was pointing out that they were wrong.

it is in no way the same as a cosmetic treatment.
I am needing IVF due to a health condition that resulted in the loss of fallopian tube.
I'm paying for the ivf privately as nhs provision is so dire I’ll be far older and it’ll have less chance of working by the time I get to the top of the waiting list.
if the nhs stopped offering ivf, it would gain them back 0.1% of their annual budget.
missed routine appointments cost the nhs more than this each year (£1billion vs £77 million) - I think we can allow people one nhs funded chance at having one child?

Couldn't agree more.

A child is far better with a dad who gets a bit puffed playing chase than plenty of the situations children grow up in because their parents rushed into procreation without a stable background.

you don’t even have a clue what you are talking about , do you even know what peri menopause is ? Not every woman who cannot get pregnant at 40 is in peri menopause. In fact it’s usually egg quality that is the main issue . Some people don’t go into peri menopause until much later than 40