To think some older women having tax payers funded ivf are hypocrites?

Most late 30 somethings can have a baby naturally though?

Every single person who has said "if you have waited til you were in your mid/late 30s til you found your person, you shouldn't have help to have a baby".

Which means you can only start a family when you are younger, in their eyes. So just grab the nearest male and sod the long term consequences for your life and that of your child/ren.

What about that comment is bitter? Someone said a lifetime of benefits and I say I’ve worked since my dc started school. How is that bitter?
If you don’t like what I’m saying and it’s touched a nerve you can just say that

I’m not judging all older mothers or mothers who used ivf. Only the ones who have judged teen mums first. Nasty bullies who like to make others feel like burdens but can’t handle it when it’s put back on them.

Who is advocating for that? Can you actually say where somebody has encouraged this?

You see it online a lot as well. Insulting teen mums and accusing them of wasting tax money. Meanwhile the ivf industry is booming because of older women

it is in no way the same as a cosmetic treatment.
I am needing IVF due to a health condition that resulted in the loss of fallopian tube.
I'm paying for the ivf privately as nhs provision is so dire I’ll be far older and it’ll have less chance of working by the time I get to the top of the waiting list.
if the nhs stopped offering ivf, it would gain them back 0.1% of their annual budget.
missed routine appointments cost the nhs more than this each year (£1billion vs £77 million) - I think we can allow people one nhs funded chance at having one child?

Also I find it funny that apparently a 25 year old, at their peak of beauty and with a big dating pool, allegedly ‘jumped at the first man who would have kids with her’ but a 38 year old in the last chance saloon and with fewer options magically happened upon the love of their life?

This entire thread is a crock of shit as it creates these mad binaries where life is much more grey and you will find many examples within the group you refer to. I know many women who settled for a useless man child as they felt their clock was running out. I also know younger women whose men are just useless!

Yes....but in the context of these particular posts, if you'd paid attention, it's in response to people saying they shouldn't have waited.

Why not? If there's a good chance that someone they meet at 25 is going to cause them pain and they were sure they weren't the right person for the job, why not wait for the right person?

Why are we advocating jumping into relationships that aren't right, just to have a baby? The numbers of people splitting would be MUCH higher if that was the only option for parenthood - find the father by 25 or be damned.

I can grasp it but there’s a lot of reaching here at both ends. The younger mum cheerleaders seem to think older mums are embittered career women who live to regret their short sightedness. The older mums want to make out they’re better parents as they’re more likely to have met the ‘love of their life’ despite the doors closing and it’s the linger ones who ‘panicked and grabbed anybody’. All really unpleasant, not to mention bollocks.

I know. IVF is not routinely available either, the pp drew the comparison presumably hoping to highlight that all IVF is a luxury, like all cosmetic surgery. I was pointing out that they were wrong.

So overall in both groups they may end up sticking with the man, they might not? What a revelation.

I couldn't agree more. IVF may be the answer for some people, but providing it via the NHS is a clear example of 'mission creep'. The NHS is not there to solve anything that might make a person dissatisfied with her life.

Rubbish. DD was born when I was 26, 10 years later her father and I are very happy together (and still have DS). My friend had her daughter at 35 after a 10 year relationship and they had split a year later. The 40 something first time mums are: single using sperm donor, married albeit unhappily, and cohabiting happily. So a mix.

So your husband was never initially attracted to you?

I had no idea about this. From what I have read there is an age limit on NHS funded IVF and how many 'goes' depends on what area you live in.

I do know a couple who went abroad to have further IVF after a few failures here but they paid for a lot of it, here and abroad. It was sad, smacked of desperation, when their life was pretty good by most standards.

Don't you know: the more beautiful a woman, the more beautiful a woman, the more likely she will attract a good father, and the luckier her children will be!🙄

IME it is the men who go for a woman for her looks who tend to be out the door and onto the next woman by the time her pelvic floor has birthed, her breasts have fed and the children are in school.

No one is saying that who actually said that? “Peak of beauty “ indeed . How is that even relevant?? Your ageism is absolutely shocking . You obviously met a decent guy who wanted kids young. Not everyone does . You cannot seem to grasp any situation that is different from your own.

No one is saying that who actually said that? “Peak of beauty “ indeed . How is that even relevant?? Your ageism is absolutely shocking . You obviously met a decent guy who wanted kids young. Not everyone does . You cannot seem to grasp any situation that is different from your own.