To think some older women having tax payers funded ivf are hypocrites?

That posters analogy is apt for SOME people. There’s a certain type who do insist their 20s and even early 30s are for partying, sniffing coke, sleeping around, building their career etc and see late 30s as the ideal time they want children when it’s not always possible. Then they resent younger mums accuse them of all being benefit scroungers etc

Of course there are people who have been trying for a baby for years and have endometriosis PCOS etc. but denying the above type of person also exists is pretty silly.

It’s not though . I stand by what I said . I am not the one advocating for funding to be pulled for the type of cosmetic surgery you have suggested . Which would be funded here in Ireland . Brazilian butt lifts and boob jobs aren’t funded . And I wouldn’t put ivf in the same category as that . Is that not quite simple for you to understand

Surely if children’s services were ‘handing out’ babies from safe and healthy homes you’d have more reservations, not fewer?

Since you have no idea of my circumstances you shouldn’t be suggesting I am in “pain “ or lacking empathy then

I’ve no idea of your child bearing circumstances obviously, but this very much sounds like you think the pain of not having children is greater than others, given that you’re dismissing the idea that cosmetic surgery might lessen people’s psychological pain.

‘Wanting bigger boobs or whatever isn’t the same as the pain of longing to become a mother and not being able to.’

I’ve no idea of your child bearing circumstances obviously, but this very much sounds like you think the pain of not having children is greater than others, given that you’re dismissing the idea that cosmetic surgery might lessen people’s psychological pain.

‘Wanting bigger boobs or whatever isn’t the same as the pain of longing to become a mother and not being able to.’

Why on earth would I go to the GP about hair loss due to WLI? I'd just stop taking them. And the private doctor I see about them is also a surgeon, so I assume any issues, I'd see him. But given that millions of people take them daily and the only effects for the huge majority are improvements to their health, I'd say I'm actually saving the NHS money. Certainly, I no longer need BP meds, I'm no longer prediabetic, so there'll be no insulin cost.

Not quite the same for IVF.

just to be clear I’ve never had primary infertility and I have 2 kids so I don’t know why you think I’m in pain or why you think I think my “pain” is greater than others . I don’t . I’m not advocating that funding for cosmetic surgery should be pulled so I don’t know where you get the idea I’m lacking in empathy .

You know absolutely nothing about my life or what I've had to struggle with. I'm not a young mum, for starters.

Again, you still haven't answered: what do you think of people who leave it until the last minute to revise for an exam, and then resent people who get good grades because they'd been studying for weeks or months?

I think the type of cosmetic work is quite curtailed, as IVF has been. And that’s fair in lots of cases. But nobody is or ever was getting a ‘boob job’ because they just fancied it, so all the PPs comparing IVF to that are foolish, and I you comparing the two seemed to be playing into the same narrative, that the only psychological pain that matters is not having children. Maybe I misunderstood you.

Yeh but I don’t think that people with such issues should have to pay either . In Ireland we don’t pay for that type of cosmetic surgery either . I didn’t realise those things weren’t free in the uk. How awful.

You know absolutely nothing about my life or what I've had to struggle with. I'm not a young mum, for starters.

Again, you still haven't answered: what do you think of people who leave it until the last minute to revise for an exam, and then resent people who get good grades because they'd been studying for weeks or months?

Like I said disbelieve and psychoanalyse all you want but I’m happy with my life. I just don’t like how I was treated as a young mother and how other young mothers are probably still being treated now by people who can’t see they’re raging hypocrites.

You are obviously one of the hypocrites described and that’s why you feel personally attacked maybe?🤔 I mean you’re the one making the personal attacks here calling my job crappy. You are rattled

Like I said disbelieve and psychoanalyse all you want but I’m happy with my life. I just don’t like how I was treated as a young mother and how other young mothers are probably still being treated now by people who can’t see they’re raging hypocrites.

You are obviously one of the hypocrites described and that’s why you feel personally attacked maybe?🤔 I mean you’re the one making the personal attacks here calling my job crappy. You are rattled

Like I said disbelieve and psychoanalyse all you want but I’m happy with my life. I just don’t like how I was treated as a young mother and how other young mothers are probably still being treated now by people who can’t see they’re raging hypocrites.

You are obviously one of the hypocrites described and that’s why you feel personally attacked maybe?🤔 I mean you’re the one making the personal attacks here calling my job crappy. You are rattled

In what way is that the same as deliberately not TTC until you’ve run out of viable eggs? You want to talk in broad brush terms and say ‘don’t wait until after 35’ then say so, don’t use bizarre analogies.

You can absolutely think people shouldn’t until they’re older, but the reality is that economic and social life makes really difficult, and most women aren’t deliberately running down the clock. They’re trying to get their life together, enjoy it, have a decent partner, enough money to be able to give themselves and their children opportunities and a good quality of life.

And you’re calling those women ‘vile’ for having emotions about struggling with fertility.

Can only imagine you’ve got everything tip top in your own life, and that you’re pontificating from your ivory tower. You’re a young mum, your kids are healthy and well provided for, partner in good and stable work, house on the way to being paid for, you live in a good area for schools and sports and activities, you or your partner don’t have any health issues, you’re not a carer for a parent, grandparent or sibling. Good for you.

Opportunities to do what? Have you not heard about the unemployment crisis among graduates? Struggling to find even a minimum wage job.

Im happy. I have family, a nice home live in a nice town and have a decent job. Things hard to come by in 2026. You can disbelieve this and psychoanalyse it if you want I’m just pointing out a double standard

There’s so many types of cosmetic surgery though. A person with a massive facial scar, or a port wine birthmark, or loose skin from weight loss, or damage from burns or from cancer or from dog bites or car accidents or a violent crime. I agree some fertility treatment should be accessible on the NHS but I don’t agree with your trivialising others’ pain just because you think yours is worse. And then you talk about empathy!

Opportunities to do what? Have you not heard about the unemployment crisis among graduates? Struggling to find even a minimum wage job.

Im happy. I have family, a nice home live in a nice town and have a decent job. Things hard to come by in 2026. You can disbelieve this and psychoanalyse it if you want I’m just pointing out a double standard

If social services were handing out newborns (who'd experienced a healthy pre-birth environment) I'd have adopted rather than have IVF.

They are not. It is not the same as in the past, largely because society now supports young single mums rather than whisk their babies away for adoption ...