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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed Dh calls out little boy by his initial?

211 replies

harvestingsomewarmth · 19/05/2026 10:09

I know it’s his son too and he can call him what he likes but after months of carefully choosing the perfect name together which also has its own well known abbreviation I do feel a little miffed that he has taken to calling him by the first letter of his name.
The letter is also commonly a shortening of a completely different name altogether.

OP posts:
7in1Pond · 19/05/2026 11:07

He's allowed to have his own nickname for his son without applying to you for sign off.

BillieWiper · 19/05/2026 11:05

'The letter is also a common shortening of another name'?! Well yes, presumably there are hundreds of names that also begin with that letter? Why would it be more associated with any other specific name?

I don't see the issue. That's just his nickname for his kid.

ConverselyAttired · 19/05/2026 11:00

YABU. I call my William Will, Will-Bill, Wee'un, Noodle and Bobbet. Nicknames are part of family life.

Happyjoe · 19/05/2026 11:00

It's fine. I bet a, your little one doesn't give two hoots and b, when he grows up he will think fondly of his dad's nickname. It's all good, honestly, don't worry!

Dartmoorcheffy · 19/05/2026 10:59

My dad called me W, and my mum J quite a lot. We both liked it, as we only got our full names when he was in a bad mood . 😂

Vargas · 19/05/2026 10:58

I call my son J all the time!

Error404FucksNotFound · 19/05/2026 10:58

TallSturdyGirl · 19/05/2026 10:54

My kids, Squidge, Mooksdalooks and Wobble reckon he's got it off pretty lightly.

My sister, Crabs, strongly agrees with them.

DesLynamsMoustache · 19/05/2026 10:57

I call my daughter, who has a very feminine name beginning with Al, Big Al Grin

ThisCandidMintGoose · 19/05/2026 10:56

if he was calling him "Nigel F", or any controversial nickname, then you would be entitled to be annoyed. An initial? A parent should be able to call their child what they like, as long as said child doesn't hate it.

LittlePetitePsychopath · 19/05/2026 10:55

harvestingsomewarmth · 19/05/2026 10:18

No it’s J which I think sounds like Jay/Jamie/James.
His actual name is Joseph and he could call him the very similar sounding Joe if he wanted to shorten it.

Show quote history

J is a really common shortening of Joseph. Or any name beginning with J, to be fair.

My husband is called a completely random initial by a group of his friends. No idea why! It's been the case for years now. His name doesn't sound like the letter and the letter doesn't appear in his name at all.

Anyway, nicknames are really personal. If it doesn't bother your son, leave him to it.

ThisCandidMintGoose · 19/05/2026 10:55

DuellingBanjos · 19/05/2026 10:22

Is you DH posh? All the poshos where I grew up used to call each other by an initial - e.g. ‘H’ for Henrietta.

are you serious?

Nothing to do with "poshos", it's very common to hear kids called by their first initial.

It might be people getting used to only use an initial on social media referring to other people's kids, I have no idea, but initials are used a lot.

TallSturdyGirl · 19/05/2026 10:54

My kids, Squidge, Mooksdalooks and Wobble reckon he's got it off pretty lightly.

ThisCandidMintGoose · 19/05/2026 10:53

YABU

Having carefully chosen the name has nothing to do with anything for a start, of course you choose carefully.

He can call him whatever he likes, it might change as he gets older, or it might stick. Your child might pick his own nickname.

It would be irritating if it was the in-laws, because they don't get to chose what someone is called! A parent or a friend on the other hand, pretty normal.

Stardancerintheskye · 19/05/2026 10:53

I have a Joshua and from the day he was born,I called him jj

Then that got shortened to j

He's 26 now and knows hes in deep shit if I call him Joshua(he knows hes in even bigger trouble if his middle names come out!)

Oddly,im the only one who calls him j-nobody else ever did

I'd just have as word if it bothers you that much

Shocke · 19/05/2026 10:51

It’s annoying. Even worse are the dimwits on fbook only calling their kid D or M to “protect their privacy”.

Fuck sake, stop posting about them then. We really don’t need to know how grown up D is because she eats sushi or whatever.

Donnersons · 19/05/2026 10:51

I think I have about 40 different names on rotation for my child that get used in a single day including J. My husband sticks with Jack. I don't think it even occurs to him to be bothered by what I refer to our child as. This is probably one of those to let go, unless your son is bothered by it then it's not really your concern.

followtheswallow · 19/05/2026 10:48

I’m not keen on Jay (makes me think of JJ, the annoying kid from cocomelon) so I sympathise.

BunnyLake · 19/05/2026 10:46

harvestingsomewarmth · 19/05/2026 10:18

No it’s J which I think sounds like Jay/Jamie/James.
His actual name is Joseph and he could call him the very similar sounding Joe if he wanted to shorten it.

Show quote history

I like the name J. I know a James who goes by J. Personally it wouldn’t bother me.

CoralOP · 19/05/2026 10:46

Hate to say it but J sounds loads better than Joseph for a little boy, did you pick Joseph together?
There's nothing wrong with him shortening it, it's like Joseph is his Sunday school name and J is more endearing, relaxed and will be used more with family and friends.

SlayTheJAway · 19/05/2026 10:33

I often call my kids Fishface 🤣

It could be so much worse, just let it be.

tara66 · 19/05/2026 10:32

Of course there is the name Jay anyway so quite confusing calling him J for other people.

Excited101 · 19/05/2026 10:31

I would hate that op, have you asked him about it?

AgentPidge · 19/05/2026 10:30

Would it help if you thought of it as Jay rather than just an initial? Joe is a fab name. Could you find a good time to tactfully suggest he uses that instead?

There are always things that get on our nerves that don't bother other people, so it's not really fair for you to be told YABU.

pontipinemum · 19/05/2026 10:27

My sister won't let anyone abbreviate her sons name. She has stuck to it from day one. If it bothers you I'd say it to DH.

Confuserr · 19/05/2026 10:22

harvestingsomewarmth · 19/05/2026 10:18

No it’s J which I think sounds like Jay/Jamie/James.
His actual name is Joseph and he could call him the very similar sounding Joe if he wanted to shorten it.

Show quote history

Lovely name but Joe is quite grown up for a baby imo and J is cute
Also he can call him whatever, anyone can. I went to school with a Joseph we all called J-dog. Can't remember why but it could (and perhaps will) be worse