To be annoyed Dh calls out little boy by his initial?

I call mine Mildred and Hagrid. J is getting off lightly!

Trixie?

Mine is 15 and mostly answers to pumpkin (not her actual name, not even close!) Nicknames change and morph over time. It's nice that his Dad has a special nickname for him, no need for anyone else to use it.

This is a hilarious thread. I thought the OP was going to say the child was 12 years old. Eight weeks! 😂

OP, kindly, you are still very freshly postpartum, do you think you might be fixating on this being a bigger issue than it really is? If not, can you bring it up with your husband, or will he be annoyed?

We have a Felix and my husband semi-jokingly tried to make 'Lix' work as a nickname, which I was absolutely not going to join in with. It died its own death but even if it hadn't, I was fine with him using that as long as he didn't expect me to.

Lol best way to embarrass him by saying come here rattybag and planting a loud kiss on his forehead in public

Borderline insulting nicknames are the best esp when they are tweens/ teens - it makes them chuckle (because they know you love the very bones of them)

I like it , I think it’s affectionate.
To quote another post I read recently ‘you don’t own him’.
Seriously though , this isn’t a problem .

I’ve got a Joseph. Joe Joe Rabbit. (He’s 28)

I think you're getting a bit of a harsh ride here OP, I understand why you're annoyed. Clearly it's not the end of the world, but I can understand the irritation.

When we named our DD my DH's only reservation was a common shortening of it which he really doesn't like - if I had started using that shortening just a few weeks after she was born he definitely wouldn't have been happy.

Obviously it's a bit different here as you likely hadn't discussed J as a shortening prior to naming your baby as you would reasonably have considered Joe, Joey etc rather than J, so it's not like he knew you would hate it, but I can definitely see why you're a bit miffed that he's using J instead of the more commonly used nicknames you had likely thought through.

100% I agree that you cannot control what others call your child as a nickname, but I'd have thought between 2 parents who have just chosen a name together that he would be using one of the shortenings you had (I assume) considered beforehand.

If I were calling my baby by an inoffensive pet name I wouldn’t appreciate my partner telling me not to, even if he is the dad.

Think how you would feel if you were using a pet name and your dh told you to stop!

Not sure why it would have taken months of choosing his name, Joseph is a pretty bog standard name and not at all unique.

Lol my poor DS was rattybag Cant remember why now

You are so right.

This forum is full of threads with women complaining they deal with everything BUT go in a rage if things are not done exactly the way they demand it to be done, down to the colour of a tshirt.

I am not sure it's genuine, but there's a current thread where an ex is fuming because the father dared taking his 4 year old to a hotel for a nice break. It doesn't matter because she's an ex, but when this kind of mothers is so controlling over her way being the only way, it's recipe for disaster.

This.

What you think pre birth is not who they are once they're in this world.

@harvestingsomewarmth try not to cling too much to your idea of him and just enjoy him for who he is now he's here. Joseph, Joe, J...they're all him and for some reason J is what feels right to your husband for him, in the same way Joseph is what feels right for you.

Be careful @harvestingsomewarmth - if these non consequential grate on you so much that you undermine your DH you will find your relationship will become affected.

The mental load will fall on you, which may be how you want it while your son is small - control over what he eats, when he sleeps etc and that is understandable - but as they get older you will both fall into the role of you doing the thinking, decision making and him not.
Then resentment builds.

I appreciate this seems far fetched and a huge extrapolation on my part but it’s a death by a thousand paper cuts. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

A lot of kids end up with multiple nicknames. I have always called my child by a different nickname than what I planned to be his nickname before he was born.

J / Jay for Joseph is quite adorable imo.

I don’t think there’s anything you can or should do about this. Nicknames / pet names are such a personal thing.

We named our daughter a lovely name but it felt too ‘big’ for a baby. It begins with a B so she was ‘Bee’ a lot when she was a baby. She’s still occasionally Bee now but more often her actual name. I think you’re really overthinking it, but that’s totally normal at 8w post partum!

As soon as your child is at school or nursery and mixing with others, any control over what your child is called goes out of the window. the kids will call him other things, he will call himself other things, as he goes through school. he will pick up nicknames and or decide to change his own name. Get over yourself.

We chose our daughters name because the full version has many possibilities to shorten it (gives her options in the future should she want to change it up) and we specifically liked one of the shorter versions, which we usually call her.

She prefers the full name, and introduces herself as that so most people call her that now.

We spent MONTHS trying to find what we loved, should I be annoyed she wants to go by different to what we wanted?

Nope.

I have an H friend of the family started it and it never stopped

He does have equal say. But maybe he doesn't know it bothers OP and maybe he wouldn't mind stopping. If I was calling DS something DH didn't like I'd want him to tell me. If calling him J wasn't too special to me I would stop

I used to call my child by the first letter of his name until he told me very firmly “I am not a letter!”. That was the end of that.

fair enough, its' her child. What business is it of anyone else to change the name.

In this instance, it's the parent!

Except the person in question is the child’s father who should perhaps have equal say in naming his child 😬