To be annoyed Dh calls out little boy by his initial?

J - I'd assume Jay or James as would more expect Jo.

If it really bothers you talk to your DH - but honestly people do werid things with names.

We've had people insist on wrong prounications - adding extra bits to the name as they assume it's another longer one - telling us off for adding common ie sound to end of girls name which TBF is a name now in it's own right - but it's odd to interfer in family interactions. Oddest one was group where they added extra letters to name to make is sound like lore in a film series and then picked a character from that for our kids name - and our child didn't like it.

Names do change - I have random names for all of them - plus for two name DS and one daughter we added ie sound to end of it automaically but stopped that during their teens years naturally as they got older.

Nah, J is fine. And also not really up to you. You have no more say than your DH over what nicknames your son gets.

If it helps, the nicknames/abbreviation that we called our children when they were babies, didn't last. The ones we used when they were upper primary school, did.

Has he been watching Gossip Girl?

Seriously, using the initial is quite popular/normal/standard. As long as your husband isn't introducing your son to other people as "Jay", it's probably minimal impact.

My sister was "B" all through secondary school; all of her friends routinely used first initials for each other. She thought it was funny when someone assumed it was "Bea" for Beatrice/Beatrix, since those were considered old fashioned names at the time. (I felt sorry for her friend Penelope.)

Even worse are the dimwits on fbook only calling their kid D or M to “protect their privacy”. Fuck sake, stop posting about them then.

Perhaps there are throngs of adoring but long-distance family and friends who do need to be kept fully updated on the doings of Donatella and Mehitabel but don't have time to call or email? In that case it's quite right to preserve the sushi-eaters' privacy through clever pseudonyms decipherable only by those "in the know". Dee and Em will do nicely for the hoi polloi.

It's fine for your DH to use a nickname. These things evolve over time. I called my son Bear although I try not to now he is 19! When referring to him in texts to his dad I would use his initial and occasionally I do use the shortened version of his name (as do some of his friends) but mostly he gets his full name from me. I made a point of choosing a name where I was happy with the full name, shortened name or initials (and sounded ok with our surname or being shouted from another room)! His uncle always called him by his initials (of his first name and middle name) and he is the only one who did this. All completely fine.

That would not bother me at all. We have all kinds of variations on our kids names.

My husband calls our adult son Bradley. His name isn’t Bradley. But someone called him that mistakenly when he was 10 and it really annoyed him, so dh thought it would be hilarious to carry it on. It’s now 13 years later and he’s still Bradley. Even in birthday cards. I saw one of dh collegues in Tesco once and she asked about how “Bradley” was getting on in his new job 🤣

I rarely call any of my 3 their real names. It’s a variety of things, mostly not in any way connected to their names.

Does it really matter?

You can call your son whatever you like and so can your husband. It’s really not up to you to police your DH’s use of a nickname. Seriously. Your baby is so little, he will no doubt acquire dozens of nicknames. Relax and don’t stress about this non-issue.

You really don’t want to end up like the mother of a friend of mine. He always went by Rob but if anyone referred to him that way in his mother’s presence, she would declare, “My son’s name is Robert.” 😅 He was an adult who could choose his preferred name.

Completely out of the blue and knowing how much I objected to it,
my sister addressed my children as ‘pet’ which she knew I hated,
not being a Geordie, although I never said anything

my children by early teens told her themselves how awful it sounded

Initials as a name is so American - we have a BB, JC, OG, KK (Kiki)
two distant cousins I don’t know their ‘proper names’ anyway -

as long as baby is not ignored he will be fine

I knew it was going to be J. DD’s name is Jemima and a lot of people call her J. Her best friend inexplicably calls her JJ, despite these not being her initials! One of my best friends has a name that starts with J and a lot of people also call her J. It seems to be something that happens with J names.

I have an Oliver and I call him Ol or Ollieos (like Cherrios)

I think you’re over thinking it OP, with kindness. I know a beautiful very feminine Niamh that goes by Steve among family, because it rhymes 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have an Oliver. I never call him Olly, but I do call him Olive, Olivebread, Sweet Potato, Sticklebrick, Munchkin…

OP I just had a little cry when I read this as my dad always called me by the first initial of my name. It made no sense, life calling someone "F" and he was the only one to do it. He died 6 months ago and I love that I have that memory of him saying my name that way.
My husband calls our DD "sport".

Move oonnnnnn.

OP, it's very early days. Over the years people will give your dc all kinds of names and nicknames. J really is is an okay thing for dad to call his son. You don't need to call him it but you don't get to have that much control over his dad. Congratulations on your baby.

I still catch myself referring to one of mine as 'Bubby' occasionally. 'Bubby' is nearly thirteen😂

My kids routinely get called Ratbag, Squidge and Pops. It’s fine 🤷🏼‍♀️

I call my youngest Babs (he's a boy) 😆

I wonder if the OP will be 'that mother' who because she dislikes her child's name being shortened will want the school to monitor other pupils' usage, calling it 'bullying', even though the child quite likes it!

Neither of mine get their 'proper' names unless they are in line for a telling off. Always been J and B.

This is really controlling. Sorry, but I think you're being unreasonable.

Your son is very young and you are no doubt still in the throes of postpartum exhaustion so 💐

However, you chose his name you don’t own it.

Your DH can have a pet name for his son that’s different to what you call him.

Other nicknames will develop from other family members, friends and siblings.

The only person who gets to decide what he’s called is the child himself.

And advanced warning: he may not agree with you, so brace yourself 😆

As he ages his friends will likely call him something dreadful or ridiculous which might be entirely unrelated to his actual name.

Because a friend's slightly older child couldn't pronounce our daughter's name she called her Biggles and it stuck for a while

lol oh dear

Let it go

She sounds fun.