To be annoyed Dh calls out little boy by his initial?

In my case, I’d specifically said before our daughter was born that I picked the name because it had no obvious nicknames. It’s a Latin name that was used in Ancient Rome but is relatively uncommon today, so it’s not like I was being frustrated over something predictable, like Alexandra being called Alex or Rosemary being called Rosie.

In OP’s case, her husband isn’t calling the baby a predictable nickname for Joseph, like Joe or Joey, and while J/Jay isn’t completely crazy as a nickname for Joseph, it’s an entirely separate and unrelated name in its own right.

your husband should man up and be an equal parent, and call his daughter how he wants to cal her, instead of having to make "suggestion" and tip toe around you. Who put you in charge? It's his baby too!

Aitch

This is bonkers. Almost every child has a nickname during their childhood it's not at all like you're renaming them.

I find it very controlling that any parent thinks they have the right to unilaterally decide their child's equal parent cannot call them an affectionate nickname.

I get it, OP. Calling the baby something that’s another actual name feels like renaming the baby. My older daughter’s name ends in “-lia,” and when she was about a month old, my husband suggested we could call her “Lia” as a nickname. Which, HELL NO, because if I wanted our baby to be called Lia or Leah, that’s what I would have named her.

He can call him what he wants.

You're being this controlling and your kid is only 8 weeks old? Sheesh.

I call my son J

Tbh better than all the "babba"/"bubba" stuff you hear everywhere you go which makes me 🤮

Harmless stuff.

I have a Joseph too and loads of people call him J. As long as he doesn’t mind it, that’s fine. I don’t shorten his name.

Is it Alfie?

Is it Pee?

I use an initial for my (young adult) son. It's not the nickname I thought I would use - it just happened. It's not the same as his Dad's nickname for him. And we use a different shared nickname when we talk about him together. The nickname his friends and fiancee use is different yet again - not one that I even considered. It's how things work - a reflection of our individual and shared relationships with him.

Don't you like that they have a relationship, part of which doesn't include you?
Maybe you expected that all parenting would be done jointly by the 2 of you? Or maybe all through you?

In most family relationships, you have some things that are joint, some that are Mum & son, some that are Dad and son. And that's all fine and loving.

You might want to have a deeper think about why exactly you have a problem with it. How were you brought up?

You're on an uphill battle if you're going to get your knickers in a twist about nicknames!

Of course have a chat with your husband about it "calling him J gives me the ick, just call him Joe you weirdo" kind of thing but nicknames and petnames aren't really a conscious decision, they just come out.

No idea how old your child is but boy oh boy do you have a lifetime of unexpected nicknames and shortenings to come! I can't list any here for our kids but I'd not ever have predicted half the things they've been called by family and friends.

My children are quite often referred to as Wiggy and Barn (very outing if any of my pals are on here 😂).

That wasn’t planned, obviously. Nicknames can evolve in unexpected ways.

If your DS doesn’t mind, then I think you’ll have to just suck it up.

My daughter is known as Gee (pronounced gi) by her dad because her nursery used to call her [first name] Gee as there were two with the same first name.

I like it.

Ah but did they pronounce it “aitch” or “haitch”? The latter would have really annoyed me.

My dad called me and my sister Boogaloo and Skoodleebido (Boog and Scoodlee for short). I still call my strapping 16 yr old Joshiepants. It’s a non issue OP.

If i shout Honey, Sweetheart, Love, Darling in my house everyone answers

My dad calls me Bug and has only used my real name a handful of times, despite picking it. Even at his speech at my wedding he said “Bug, who most of you know as (name)”. I wouldn’t be too annoyed tbh, people love a nick name, especially men.

How would you react if you called your son by a nickname and your husband told you not to?

he can call his own child whatever he likes

This is why asking for baby name opinions on the relevant threads is always a terrible idea, MN is probably the last place you should consult for sensible and measured advice on this subject!
Having said that, I would always advise expectant parents never to consult anyone on their baby name choices until baby has arrived safely and the name is a fait accomplis, otherwise you are inviting everyone to stick their oar in and try to talk you out of a name you have chosen with love. There is no name on earth that will be universally liked, all that matters is that the parents like it. It really doesn't matter what great-aunt Jane thinks, let alone internet strangers!

I know parents who call their children by their first and middle names initials AJ for example. But they are older seems strange to do it with a baby.

John