To be annoyed Dh calls out little boy by his initial?

We all call Ds by his initial sometimes, which is not J, I have called the dc by all sorts of names shortening their names and ending up with something that doesn’t even make sense and we still use them now they are grown up.
It’s just a term of endearment and they’re easier to say than their full names

The child is his too

umm its not your name, its his name, he can do what he likes with it.

I call my son James J and my Henry Hen! They are rarely called their names unless I’m cross with them!

I have a Joseph and love that name. So he's not Joe,Joey or any other shortening. He's 24 now and always Joseph. Don't accept nicknames or abbreviations if you dont want to.

was very clear that this was the name I wanted us to call her.

I honestly don't see how you can type such a sentence and not see that you were controlling.

You can call her what ever you like, as can he. He's her equal parent is he not?

Yikes. That's very controlling. Why on earth can't your husband choose a nickname he likes for his own daughter? You don't have to follow suit if you prefer not to.

He was perfectly able to veto the name, and I know he felt comfortable doing so because he vetoed a different one. This wasn’t some nickname that organically sprung up out of affection - “oh, where’s Daddy’s little girl? Where’s Daddy’s little Lia?” We were walking through a grocery store when I was a month postpartum and recovering from a C-section when suddenly out of nowhere, he comes out with, “Maybe we could call her Lia.” Which was something to bring up BEFORE she was born and after I’d said, “And one thing I love about [name] is that there aren’t any obvious nicknames” and was very clear that this was the name I wanted us to call her.

My daughter has lots of nicknames, but none of them are anything that would be mistaken for a real, legal name.

She’s now eleven years old and can call herself whatever she wants. But I didn’t agree to spend her early years correcting people who assumed that Lia was her actual name on paper, or to have to “correct” the spelling if a nickname I never wanted in the first place. (Most people around here would assume it was L-E-A-H.)

You sound very over the top in your approach to a name he didn't really have a say in, in the first place.

It's a nickname given with affection the whole point is he's doing it because he loves her and it shows how special she is to him. I can't believe you're so angry about him showing affection towards his own child.

Well, my friend is called Donna, but gets called Hazel.

It's fine.

you sound like so much fun. You both chose the legal name, what more do you want.

Wait until your kid comes saying they rename themselves as "pineapple" or "mafia" and everybody calls them "maf" for short 😂

I would find it depressing if you genuinely have never EVER called your child anything else than your Ancient Rome name from the minute they were born. Most people even give a nickname to their pet..

I can't get worked up about the OP.

It's not like he's calling the baby Adolf or anything.

The baby's name is Joseph, his father is calling him J. Not Jay. It may sound the same, but it's NOT the same! You don't need a "two yes" decision, or any decision, on using a diminutive of the name you HAVE agreed on!

And you know what? If you call your child Katherine, and one of you uses Kate, that is also fine. Because you are both parents of the child. And they still have the name you both agreed on.

And if my daughter feels like calling herself Lia, she can go for it. But what a tiny baby is called is a decision for both parents to agree to (provided they’re both active on the baby’s life).

Now I have to know the name 😂

As I can only think of Roman names that are very easily shortened/modifit. Even my quick Google shows loads, all of which can be altered.

What if the baby’s name is Nathaniel and one parent starts calling him Noah? Is that “names adapt and change, don’t be controlling - they both start with N!” or is that, “You are calling our baby a real, full name that we never agreed to”?

Lia is a full name independent from my daughter’s name; Jay is a full name independent from Joseph. Neither is a traditional, easily foreseeable nickname for the formal name. Calling a baby an entirely different real name that both parents did not agree to is unacceptable behavior. What happened to baby names being a “two yes” decision?

Oh bless you @harvestingsomewarmth , your little bundle is still so tiny, he'll have many nicknames and diminutives assigned to him as he gets older!

Just ride this irritation through. It's irrational and makes no difference to you, but it's helping your husband bond with his son.

Many congratulations on the new baby, Joseph is a really lovely name :)

Oh yes. My colleague insisted his son was Crispin. Nothing else.

The lad calls him self Cris. Teachers call him that, mates call him that or Pinny.
Colleague corrects everyone, including his son 🤷‍♀️🤦

it's not the same at all.

Going along with the name YOU picked decades before having a child has nothing to do with using a nickname. Fine if you had told him, please don't call her "Lia" to expect him NOT to call her Lia, but he's still allowed to call her something else. He can call her L, Elle, El, or "eleven" if he's a stranger things fan 😂

Again, there's not such thing as "no obvious nicknames". I am sure your ancient Rome has a first letter? That's an an obvious one.

As long as the child is okay with it let it go - it's their name not yours.

it's completely irrelevant if your ancient Rome name doesn't have common nicknames, it's still easy to make up one, to use the initial or just blurt something that will stick.

Or your child will start calling themselves "something" and that sticks too

Many nicknames have no relevance with the first name.

I picked her name in the first place, about a decade before I was even pregnant, and he said yeah, that’s a great name. I specifically told him that I liked it because it had no obvious nicknames. It’s Latin and not terribly popular in modern times, although it belonged to some historical figures in Ancient Rome.

It’s like if two people agree on a triple-layer cake with a blend of different flavors, and after one person’s made it, the other one says, “Eh, I think I’ll just eat that chocolate layer in the middle and toss out the rest.” Should have said that before the cake-maker spent time on something unusual and creative, shouldn’t they?

“Lia” would have been a name we didn’t agree on, and even if we had agreed on the name, that’s not the spelling I would have chosen. This wasn’t an “obvious nickname” situation, like Ellie for Eleanor or Izzy for Isabel.

My nicknames for everyone (pets and people) make no real sense and are often unreliable to their actual names. I went through a stage of calling DH Daddy Pig when the kids were in their Peppa phase. Isn’t that just now nicknames work? I just don’t really see the issue, unless of course the recipient of said nickname doesn’t like it.

Names adapt and change though and to think you have full control of that especially when it's their other parent wanting to initiate a sweet nickname for his own child is really controlling.