To wish my dh understood why I would like him to make an effort more with his clothes? Or explain it to me ?

But is that because you choose to, or because he's pressuring you?

Provided he’s clean, tidy and not flashing his genitals at people, why can’t you just leave him be?
Clothes aren’t important to him. Why does him dressing ‘nicely’ make any difference to you, unless it’s a special occasion?

He's just not interested in clothes - lots of people aren't.

Struggling to empathise with why it matters to you so much, but clearly it does ....

Would you find him more attractive if he dressed differently? Are you struggling to connect sexually/romantically, and you feel this would help?

sorry but this doesn't work for looks. for special occasions, yes you can ask him. but expecting him to dress up every day to please you is unreasonable

Does he hate the act of shopping? Or does he have nice clothes and refuse to wear them?

My DH was/is very similar. Scruffy and couldn't be bothered. As an example I once sent him out to buy new work shoes and he came home with a pair from clarkes- from the old man section that my 93 yo GF wouldn't wear and were a size too small, but apparently were cheap!
They were actually expensive as he wore them once and hobbled round the office all day.

Style and looking good is important to me - obviously im going to be called shallow and boring on here now. But its a hobby and I enjoy it.

Ive started mostly shopping for DH. I have his measurements written down. And the measurements of his best fitting shirts, tshirts, jeans etc and keep a tape measure in my bag when shopping.
I get a lot of stuff for us both in charity shops in posher areas.

When he is getting ready I will help him "style" an outfit. He is also genuinely colour blind so can come up with some interesting combinations. Then he remembers the good looking outfits.

Slowly I've talked him into cooler shoes, more modern trainers. A few accessories.

Aftershave, cleanser, hair gel etc and sunscreen are all left out in his way so he has to move them to get ready to he now uses them.

I (modest me) do have an edge on his fashion sense but he is now backing me up rather than looking like a completely odd couple.

Again I think I will get roasted for this but I dont care - I will use every trick in the book to get DH to put in some effort
I love him for his personality, kindness, we have genuine love. But he is senior when he isn't wearing grey tracksuit bottoms and a shit ton of old rugby shirts.

Do you do things that he values but you don't?

OP doesn't say he looks bedraggled or dirty or badly dressed though, just that he doesn't seem to dress according to her preferences.

Kinda surprised at the answers thus far. OP do you want him to dress like a fashion forward style icon or make basic effort to look well? Very few of us are attracted to people who wear ill-fitting, dull clothes.

well we need context.

clean, ironed / creased free but basic - jeans, t shirt etc. bog standard haircut but clean.

Vs

walkes around in the same stuff for several days, holes, stains that won't wash out. badly fitted joggers and vests. hair greasy or overgrown.

I think most people manage it by buying clothes for birthdays/Christmas etc and ensure plenty of women (their sisters/friends) tell him he looks "great", "very dapper", "scrubs up well etc".

Could you not buy clothes for your Dh if he’s not bothered and you are?

I do the clothes shopping for the whole family.

Yes this is quite controlling. Let him dress how he likes - as long as it’s appropriate and he isn’t going around naked it’s really up to him. If it was important to him that you dyed your hair red, even if you didn’t want to, would you be happy? Same thing!

How would you feel if the situation was reversed and he was going on and on at you about how you dressed?

Men who want their partners to dress a certain way even when the partner doesn’t want to are called controlling on here…