To wish my dh understood why I would like him to make an effort more with his clothes? Or explain it to me ?

What a depressing and superficial thread.
I look at my partner, whom I love, and fancy him in whatever he has on. I think he looks great in his comfies. Sometimes he (playfully) insists I get changed out of my smarter clothes and put my comfies on too. I’d hate to be in a relationship like yours OP.

Yanbu.
He no longer makes an effort and you regret no longer finding him as attractive because of it.
It is not unreasonable to wish that he would make the effort to be attractive to you as he once did.

Loads of men hate shopping and can’t be bothered choosing clothes or planning outfits. Just buy him nice clothes to wear for occasions. And he can wear his loungewear /whatever he wants the rest of the time.

I'm with OP on this 😀 Most men my age (and below) have given up on dressing well - dark fleece, jeans, :walking trainers', and that's about it. Don't even get me started on men who want their wives to choose their clothes!
Come on fellas, put a bit of effort in 🙂

I think if you’re going out, fair enough; you make an effort and you want him to look smart too. But if you’re talking about everyday clothes, you’re effectively asking him to dress to suit you rather than for his own comfort.
If a a man was on here complaining about his wife wearing jeans and t shirts rather than pretty dresses, he’d get a bollocking, and rightly so. The only thing I can think to suggest is that you compromise by finding a middle ground, even if that’s just smarter jeans and t shirts. Either offer to go shopping with him or buy some bits yourself, but I don’t think you can expect him to do a complete 180 if it’s just not something he’s interested in.

Most of us like art but we admire it from willing artists in exhibitions rather than expect other humans to be our free entertainment. We see humans as whole beings and focus on their personality rather than how they look.
Go and watch some fashion shows if you want to appreciate art through fashion. Although I suspect you are just shallow and hiding it behind a love of art.

Gosh what a superficial way to view your life partner

But if the roles were reversed, a man on here that doesn’t like how his wife dresses and wants to buy clothes he wants her to wear, my god he’d be absolutely slaughtered on here!!
just accept him for who he is or go and find someone else who’s style you like.

You are not controlling in the least - you want him to look his best. He is not bothered. Just leave him to it. Spend the money you would have otherwise spent on him, on your own clothes, shoes, etc. and derive pleasure from those visuals.

Ha that's me. My DH puts in way more effort. I just don't unless it's a special occasion. To me it's a chore to him it's a pleasure. He's also much more worried about how He's perceived by others which I stopped caring about in my thirties (we're late forties).

What if he told you he doesn't like your style and wish you were more laidback? Wouldn't like that would you? When you love someone you just have to accept that the other person is not you. If you are too superficial to do this then set him free- he sounds like a Guy to my taste and I'm sure he will find someone who loves him the way he is.

It's just not up to you. I like a man who smells nice, I love a good aftershave subtly applied, but DH doesn't like to wear it. That's his choice. He smells clean and showers daily and uses deodorant. I have to accept that scent isn't his thing.

Can't believe the votes so far! Mental. You said he used to make the effort and now doesn't. That's an important distinction between your request being controlling and just asking him to not be so complacent now you've been together so long.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't think I was worth making any effort for. More importantly, you need to be matched in your efforts, so if you're still trying and he isn't, that's not ideal. Well worth a conversation and then deciding what you want to do about it. Maybe you just don't accompany him if he hasn't made an effort. He'll soon get sick of socialising alone. Or stop making the effort yourself and see if he cares. Stop shaving. That will have an impact. Or just hide all his clothes so he has to buy more. Jokes.

Has he put on weight? Does he have any body confidence issues he hasn't recognised or talked about? Maybe a male friend or family member could talk to him instead. Give him some perspective so he doesn't feel 'nagged'.

Controlling & self centred behaviour. Bet your a right laugh.

What does he wear, and what would you prefer? It's not at all clear what you're talking about.

If he's an old jeans & logo t-shirt man, whom you want to dress in Yamamoto suits, that's one thing. If you simply mean newer jeans & t-shirt, different issue.

I said that because you said you couldn’t get him clothes as he shops in them. I didn’t imagine that charity shops and their displays fits your aesthetic

DD2 said to me once, when we were at a café, people watching, “Have you noticed, when you see heterosexual couples out, either shopping or out for lunch, the woman has always made an effort with what she wears - a dress, nice shoes, or jeans and boots and a pretty top, and 95% of the time the man always looks like he has just pulled on something he got off the floor? Like jeans that are old and a grubby tee shirt or hideous shorts and a polo shirt?” So I looked, and she was right.

I don’t think OP would lower herself to a charity shop - not arty enough I imagine

Agreed! One of my friend’s husband says he wishes she dressed ‘nicer’ when they honour. She wears jeans, nice top etc. We all think he is an arse - she isn’t an extension of him