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And just like that... MAFS is over

462 replies

mumofoneAloneandwell · 18/05/2026 17:03

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp8pz1k4r2lo

It was coming. You dont get good reality TV without people suffering.

This news however is awful. Bloody awful.

A groom dressed in a dark suit and a bride dressed in white walk hand in hand along a sunlit grassy path, surrounded by tall green trees. Bright sunlight filters through the leaves. A large green Channel 4 logo sits to the left.

Married at First Sight UK 'brides' say they were raped by onscreen husbands

Channel 4 was aware of one of the rape claims before broadcast, but the woman involved still featured in the show.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp8pz1k4r2lo

OP posts:
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7
Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 14:40

ruethewhirl · 20/05/2026 14:24

Absolutely. That expression makes me think of the awful victim-blamey things I've heard some people of my parents' generation say (I'm Gen X) about how men supposedly 'can't control themselves' once they get past a certain point and how that apparently means it's on the woman to not 'lead him on'. 😡

Awful.

ruethewhirl · 20/05/2026 14:24

Differentforgirls · 19/05/2026 19:02

”unable to control his lust” really equates to being a rapist in my view. I have been with my husband for 43 years. 39 married. We used the “pull out” method. We have two sons, one a drunken error (on both our parts) but the best one we ever made, one planned. At no time was he ever “unable to control his lust”. If you’re unable to “control your lust”, you should never be around women.

Absolutely. That expression makes me think of the awful victim-blamey things I've heard some people of my parents' generation say (I'm Gen X) about how men supposedly 'can't control themselves' once they get past a certain point and how that apparently means it's on the woman to not 'lead him on'. 😡

fashionqueen0123 · 20/05/2026 14:16

Missey85 · 20/05/2026 11:23

Good the show was crap before this I'm in Australia and they've stopped airing it here as well I'm not surprised that this has happened

It just finished in Australia not long ago. It wasn't stopped airing. I've just finished watching the latest Aussie Mafs in the UK. I think we were a couple of weeks behind.

Toooldtocare25 · 20/05/2026 14:12

These programmes always do. Big brother was brilliant when it was normal people doing a social experiment. Then it progressed to wannabes who would do anything for their 5 mins of fame. MAFS was the same. I’m not by any means condoning and sexual violence if this has happened then too right it should be off air. However this fake world we live in has got its part to play too.

ruethewhirl · 20/05/2026 13:56

Insertcreativenamehere · 20/05/2026 13:29

One of the contestants stated rape. She consented to sex but did not consent him to ejaculate inside her. She has called that rape. For me this a dangerous blurring of lines of what rape is……

As far as I'm aware that's defined as rape now...

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 13:32

Insertcreativenamehere · 20/05/2026 13:29

One of the contestants stated rape. She consented to sex but did not consent him to ejaculate inside her. She has called that rape. For me this a dangerous blurring of lines of what rape is……

"did not consent" are the operatve words here. Not sure where the "blurring" is.

Insertcreativenamehere · 20/05/2026 13:29

One of the contestants stated rape. She consented to sex but did not consent him to ejaculate inside her. She has called that rape. For me this a dangerous blurring of lines of what rape is……

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 12:54

JHound · 20/05/2026 12:07

I don’t think you understand how consent works tbh. Consenting to A, B and C is not consenting to X, Y and Z.

Nutshell!

JHound · 20/05/2026 12:07

Shoopshawady · 19/05/2026 20:24

Rape is when you don’t consent to sex. She did consent.
Well done you, just isn’t something you I’d recommend unless you want a baby or an STI.

I don’t think you understand how consent works tbh. Consenting to A, B and C is not consenting to X, Y and Z.

JHound · 20/05/2026 12:04

TidyRaven · 19/05/2026 14:57

Brad's not anonymous. He's denied any wrong doing. Won't take long before the others are identified.
I'm a woman by the way.

So somebody cannot discuss their experience of [alleged] assault lest it ruins the accused’s reputation?

What is your suggestion here?

Corvidsarethebest · 20/05/2026 11:51

Differentforgirls · 19/05/2026 19:02

”unable to control his lust” really equates to being a rapist in my view. I have been with my husband for 43 years. 39 married. We used the “pull out” method. We have two sons, one a drunken error (on both our parts) but the best one we ever made, one planned. At no time was he ever “unable to control his lust”. If you’re unable to “control your lust”, you should never be around women.

This is my experience. Not one error.

As someone else has said, if you use the pull out method, you err on the side of caution. And if you got it wrong, you would apologise profusely, buy condoms and be prepared to shelve sex for a while til the person felt trusting again.

Many of the men on MAFS had barely concealed aggression problems, and seeing them put with vulnerable women was scary. I didn't watch the Australian series after the Dean/Sarah storyline, as I just realised they were pressuring women into having affectionate and sexual contact with men they didn't fancy. There were way worse men than Dean in that show, though, one couple were removed for aggression and I fully believe that there were several relationships that contained coercive control, abuse and (from that association) rape and unwanted sexual contact.

They picked unstable men some of whom looked to be on steroids, or were openly macho and dominant, and just by the DV statistics, were bound to hit on dangerous men- but instead of being on top of this and making it absolutely clear that everything had to be consensual and all even minor situations should be reported to them, having therapists on board with this, they just allowed the 'grey' area to play out til it wasn't grey any more, which is why I stopped watching before this scandal anyway.

BIossomtoes · 20/05/2026 11:32

Missey85 · 20/05/2026 11:23

Good the show was crap before this I'm in Australia and they've stopped airing it here as well I'm not surprised that this has happened

When did they do that? The last season has only just finished.

Missey85 · 20/05/2026 11:23

Good the show was crap before this I'm in Australia and they've stopped airing it here as well I'm not surprised that this has happened

ThatCyanCat · 20/05/2026 11:19

RudolphTheReindeer · 19/05/2026 19:12

I can't quote now but bloody hell I clearly missed something that was obvious to everyone else earlier when I defended TidyRaven for commenting that Polly had temper tantrums over Adam not sleeping with her. I thought they were just joining in the wider convo going on where we'd discussed how experts actively coerced people to have sex (as Adam and Polly were one such couple). I do not agree with any of the victim blaming posts!

Deflecting from rape with irrelevant whataboutery is only a stone's throw from blaming rape victims. Weirdly, TidyRaven then tried to pretend that posters had criticised them for how they had expressed the point rather than the disgusting "point" itself, which was quite patently untrue.

Thindog · 20/05/2026 11:15

So are these the facts?
For the purpose of entertaining people who are entertained by reality TV,someone comes up with a good idea.
A television programme is made where couples, who are complete strangers, engage in a sham marriage and then live together. They share a bed and are encouraged to have sex.
A couple choose, of their own violation to participate, apply, and are selected.
One woman says she consented to sex, as long as he pulls out.They continue to live together for a further six weeks after the programme finishes.
Two years later she goes on a different TV programme and says that one one occasion he did not pull out in time and ejaculsted. He denies this.His name is all over the media accused as a sex offender.
The police are not involved and there has been no trial.
Is this correct?

Parkingpermitfallout · 20/05/2026 10:28

Shoopshawady · 20/05/2026 09:55

I just personally don’t agree that this is rape. You know you can get pregnant from pre- cum right?

do you see stealthing as rape?

WildLeader · 20/05/2026 10:10

Raccoonsmacaroons · 18/05/2026 20:34

I’d REALLY like this to be the death knell for Virgin Island, too. I find that programme horrifying.

The whole premise of this makes my skin crawl.

(a) ew
and (b) honestly who cares

TightlyLacedCorset · 20/05/2026 10:07

OvernightBloats · 20/05/2026 09:33

For you to deduce that people watch these programmes because they enjoy the downfall of others is way off the mark.

Life isn't as black and white as you think it is. Shame you see things in this way.

It really isn't.

Because the shows are predicated on conflict and drama. That's the very foundation of those programs. No conflict, no drama. No drama, no traction. It would be a snooze fest without it. Someone usually comes out of it looking bad or there is group coercion or bullying. The shows are heavily manipulated.

In the case of MAFS the 'sharing a bed' (tension) the documented reluctance by some participants to have sex and the advice to encourage sex (completely unethical) the group dining experience (?) where couples are encouraged to brag or chat about others and give their critique and opinion about others all created key fissure points. They are constructed as part of the programme architecture to create friction and keep the viewer hooked.

An intelligent person watches whilst acknowledging that and doesn't care. An unintelligent person doesn't even see it.

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 09:56

Shoopshawady · 20/05/2026 09:55

I just personally don’t agree that this is rape. You know you can get pregnant from pre- cum right?

Well ii is and he could be charged with it.

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 09:55

Shoopshawady · 20/05/2026 09:52

I’m saying the pull out method shouldn’t be recommended as safe sex as you can still get an STI or get pregnant.

Yes. But who would I get an STI from?

Shoopshawady · 20/05/2026 09:55

Jane379 · 20/05/2026 00:49

She consented to pull out sex, which he did not do. Similar to stealthing imo, which is recognised as rape

Do you see stealthing as rape?

I just personally don’t agree that this is rape. You know you can get pregnant from pre- cum right?

sittingonabeach · 20/05/2026 09:54

@OvernightBloats but they obviously changed the format to bring in more drama and by that there will be contestants who get rejected etc. The original format was more about whether the experts could find a better match than just leaving it to chance, but it just focussed on that couple and their start of married life and domesticity. Not bringing in various couples throwing them in all together, probably prompting them some lines to say and then watch the fall outs (with some sex thrown in for good measure)

Shoopshawady · 20/05/2026 09:52

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 03:20

Who would I get an STI from?

I’m saying the pull out method shouldn’t be recommended as safe sex as you can still get an STI or get pregnant.

Snakebite61 · 20/05/2026 09:40

mumofoneAloneandwell · 18/05/2026 17:03

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp8pz1k4r2lo

It was coming. You dont get good reality TV without people suffering.

This news however is awful. Bloody awful.

You have to be brain dead to watch reality TV