To just decide not to get married.

Get married at a registry office, not guests just 2 witnesses. If you are worried that asking 2 friends / relatives to be the witnesses will upset others then don’t ask them. Find 2 strangers who will be your witnesses. Don’t tell any friends or family the date. Often happens people ask at the registry office / ask on Mumsnet for witnesses. You get married , no one gets upset because someone else they know was a witness and it’s done. The important bit is you and your partner get married and don’t have all the fuss you want to avoid.

Just in case you missed this idea @narnia2025
apologies for reposting if you already dismissed it.

Get married, don't tell anyone, have 2 strangers as witnesses

I'm sure you can find 2 Mumsnetters who will be a witness for you - just do that and don't tell anyone about the marriage.

Could you do a destination wedding? We did, in Vegas with an open invite to anyone who wanted to be there. Inevitably not many people made it, which is what we wanted.

Yes I’ve just seen comments online about how difficult it is to get a statutory slot in some areas.
You’ve got time to decide on witnesses and any after celebration. Best wishes.

A church service is cheaper than that!

So just get married, with two stress-free friends as witnesses, then tell everyone afterwards.
A friend of mine waited 4 months to tell folks she was married (which included adult kids), and everyone was fine about it.
You're making it way more complicated than it needs to be.

My brother also got married without telling any family. They went away to a beautiful part of Scotland and asked a couple of locals to be witnesses. They sent us postcards from their honeymoon telling us they had got married.

We were all very surprised, but it was so clearly exactly what they wanted that we couldn’t possibly be upset.

My brother got married in a registry office with 2 friends as witnesses, without telling our parents.

Mum was upset at first but she didn’t make a big fuss and she quickly got over it. She still loved him just the same afterwards.

Sadly, both sets of parents were deceased when I met DH and got married so it was just my married siblings and a couple of friends who came to the registry office ceremony. DH has no other family.

Honestly, the important bit is being married not the ceremony.

We invited two friends who didn't know eachother, got married, took them to lunch and were home by 2pm. We've been married for 5 years now and not needed to tell anyone.

Just book the two person ceremony, change your last name and either lie to your families and say you've just changed your name for now or own it and play it down when it next comes up: "well, we got legally married last month but we're still saving and planning the celebration".

It doesn't need to be difficult. The legal protection is what's important. The celebration should be just that. Fun and celebrating. If its not fun, it's not a celebration. That can be delayed

We went to Gretna. It was fabulous. Just the two of us then called everyone afterwards to tell them. Best day of my life ☺️

Funny how you can get divorced online, England & Wales, but not the reverse. Maybe this will change.

Edited - apparently you can have a virtual marriage ceremony via a US company and get your certificate apostilled for UK recognition.

You've answered your own dilemma here.

Just choose two people who won't tell anyone else (one person each, unless you have joint friends who are a couple) and go off and get married.

None of your immediate family need to be aware you have changed your name. How often do your close family call you 'Miss 2025' that would need to know you are now 'Mrs 2026' ? They currently call you Narnia and will continue to call you Narnia.

Then, 2, 3, 8, 10 years later when it comes up for some reason, you can just say "Oh, remember when I was ill in 26/26? We decided it would make sense legally if we were married, so we went and did it without any fuss. We didn't want "a wedding", just the legal side".

My friend said rather than offend some people she was going to offend everyone!
She had a midweek registry office ceremony with her best friend and her partner's best as witnesses (had they not been available she would have collared a couple of people off the street).

Another option is to do statutory legal and then have a small none legal ceremony at a venue of your choice, you can get celebrants for this.
If you are happy with you and 2 witnesses I’d go with that.

Pick two witnesses or ask if there is some at offices who'll do it or acquaintances - and then maybe have a party later for everyone else if you can afford.

DH cousin did wedding abroad then booked hall and did party for everyone else later - we did go and it was fun bride loved wearing dress again. I was invited to similar few years earlier in their area - parents only at wedding and then everyone in hall afterwards.

We had eight guests - parents siblings and best man and wife - who had kids but they stayed with their DGP for weekend - and had few more over at flat afterwards who were in the city.

You could do the basic wedding - then have everyone else over at your house for a party/celebration later.

Would anyone care if they weren’t invited to a 10 minute civil partnership, if you framed it as legal admin only to save on the cost of making wills/powers of attorney etc.?

Lancashire. Maybe give your council a call and ask you won’t be first wanting a few more than statutory but not a big do.
https://www.lancashire.gov.uk/births-marriages-and-deaths/ceremonies/marriage-and-civil-partnership-fees/

If you want just 2 of you and witnesses do just that. Maybe have your mums as witnesses and then go out for a small meal after with parents.

Just go to the registry office

Dont make a big deal of it, dont tell anyone before

Just the two of you. And two witnesses. And if anyone gets upset they might want to reflect why you chose to do it with just two of you. Less stress. Less drama. Less cost. Anyone lovely should be happy for you. Not moan about not being invited.