People reply less and less these days

It’s one of those rules people follow because it’s a nicer thing to say than “sorry, but I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than meet you for a coffee”.

In my experience is isn't one single person bombarding me with messages but just the general noise of immediate family, friends, extended family, colleagues etc that feels like a bombardment.

Of course you can.

Just because someone wants to cut down their WhatsApp use doesn’t mean they can’t still use phone for other things.

Phones don’t exist so that people can demand constant access to others - if I want to doomscroll TikTok or play Scrabble after work instead of responding to someone’s WhatsApp then that’s a totally valid decision on my part.

Maybe they're feeling inundated. It didn't used to be the case that we were expected to be on call to friends and family all day every day. I would love a slower pace of life but the expectation to always be available (and the belief that something is seriously wrong if I'm not available and responsive) means I feel harassed most days. Maybe some of your friends are feeling the same.

Gosh I agree. One of my friendships groups, we have been trying to agree a date to meet up for 5 months. Pretty impossible when there are two members of the group who just never reply to messages. Eventually we arranged a date put it in the diary and then a couple of days before they both individually confirmed 🙄 no apology for the radio silence. No explanation. Now I think it’s going to be really awkward when we do meet.

They are busy doing what they want, just not something you feel is worthy by the sounds of it.

Yes exactly, and that's totally fine, but you can't say someone like this isn't replying due to "cutting down on phone use" and being "too busy". They are doing other things that they prefer, and what they prefer is scrolling. Which is totally fine and their choice, but you can see why it's leaving OP a little disappointed.

A former colleague would message me and I would respond as soon as I saw it. However if it was the other way around and I messaged her I'd wait days for a response if she bothered to send me one at all. Often when I saw her she'd say she was sorry for not replying but had been busy. At the same time I was being ignored she would be liking posts or commenting on social media. Once I realised she would rather spend time cultivating people who would help her career I minimised my contact.

That’s such a shame. Not saying you should do it, I’m not a WhatsApp fan myself, but if you wanted to you could always put the settings on that mean noone can see if you’re online or have read messages. So less pressure to respond, or at least I find that.

Agree with this. I could not understand people constantly texting each other. I thought it really mad. And still do.

This.
Phone freedom is bliss. My next step is to buy an old fashioned brick phone that does calls and texts and nothing else.

It’s not you. Personally it’s because I’m sick of being constantly contacted by everyone and expected to reply. I reply when it’s convenient. I’m not a tap with constant flowing contact with the outside world. I leave my phone in another room for most of the day. I’ve stopped watching TV mostly too - now I garden and bake and knit and sew and read and it’s divine

They are busy doing what they want, just not something you feel is worthy by the sounds of it. A lot of busyness is created. It doesn’t mean people aren’t busy.

Just because someone is on their phone doesn’t mean they want to get into a conversation though.

I hate texting and whatsapping. To me, a text/ WhatsApp is for making a quick arrangement or sending a pic.
Just ring people! They won’t answer if it’s not convenient. I talk to at least 4 people on the phone every week ( not the same people).

why don't you try to organise a night out with your friends, maybe monthly but nothing formall, just a meet up. Just catch up then, that way you'll have loads more to talk about when you do see her

People are starting to self-regulate the amount of time they check their phone.

I haven't seen this at all, pretty much everyone I know spends hours and hours a day scrolling and their phone never leaves their hand. But they are "so busy".

Unless it is a question that requires an answer, what's the problem. As someone on another thread said, people are starting to self-regulate the amount of time they check their phone.

Who are these people?

I respond to my partner, kids and close friends pretty quickly. I’m slow to respond to others because I’m not that interested. 😬

I mute lots of people and groups on WhatsApp.

I've found this too. It's the same reason people can't be bothered to meet up anymore, scrolling on your phone passes the time and gives you that dopamine hit, you don't need anything else.

Adding to this is that it's no longer considered less than ideal to do this, it's considered "self care". People give themselves an excuse in the form of thinking how overwhelmed and busy they are.

yes, I've noticed this, both in myself and other people. Truth is there are sooooo many ways to contact and be contacted and it's just really overwhelming. Sometimes I just cannot face looking at WhatsApp and it's a bit arbitrary the messages that get answered and that don't. If I pick up my phone at a time I'm feeling tech resilient then I'll answer everyone but if I'm feeling screen sick for a variety of reasons it's really easy to miss messages / think I'll just pick them up later and then they get lost under a pile of other message. A friend of mine has just taken to ignoring it all and then working through her phone book and calling people on an alphabetical basis. You could do the same with voicenotes I guess

I'm very much a lone wolf. I kept in touch with one friend i've known 60 years - she now lives in a different part of the world.
We used to email regularly. Then she started using WhatsApp to communicate with her other friends. She wanted me to start using WhatsApp so we could do short messages frequently. The thought of that, and the pressure to keep messaging all the time just gives ne such a sense of claustrophobia and pressure that i won't download WhatsApp.

So now she finds emails too much like hard work and mentally I can't cope with WhatsApp so we rarely communicate at all and after so many years the friendship is dying off.

I hear you. I try not to message too much ! I recently messaged two of my closest friends who are in a group and they both totally ignored me (this was about meeting up).Awkward and hurtful to be honest!

I guess most people are busy trying to juggle work/family/commute/household. I have a friend when she was between jobs used to send load and load of chatty messages. I just simply did not have the time to reply to them all.