People reply less and less these days

Please don’t do this without some kind of warning!
I HATE unexpected phone calls, friends or strangers, I freeze and if I’m not prepared I often don’t answer.

NEVER leave voicenotes! JFC

You sound just like me.
I barely watch TV at all (even stopped watching the soaps which I had watched with my mum and nanna since I was small) and will literally just watch a movie in bed at night before I go to sleep.
I suffered a severe mental breakdown a few years ago (due to bullying, mental health and also physical medical issues and I'd stupidly kept trying to mask it for years and putting everyone else before me before realising that these same people disappeared as soon as I was hospitalised ) and now I prefer to be in my own little world with just those who I actually want to stay in touch with and even then, I only really speak if I have something to say and they're of the same mindset as me.
Due to me being retired, people seem to expect me to "be free" for a long chat whenever THEY want it but they wouldn't be there for me if the shoe was on the other foot.
I like spending my days doing gentle exercise from my physio, being with my dogs, losing myself in books and genealogy and basically minding my own business, Sometimes I actually think I've become my Nanna, but she was lovely so I don't care.

I'll be honest, I'm one of these people who are slow to respond because I'm not glued to my phone and often leave it in another room and don't even look at it after 7,30pm until 7am because I just get bombarded by messages and notifications even with the phone on silent and I'm also sick of a certain couple of people who just message me with negative woe-is-me stories in a stream every few days - never anything positive.

One is a gossip who tells everyone about everyone else's private lives and who bombards everyone with countless questions in every single message (and who then goes around to everyone, crying that she's being ignored if you don't respond to her message within 5 minutes - she's 70 and definitely should know better - she's not lonely and is surrounded by loving family and friends and her husband but she's a huge drama queen who thrives on "bad luck" and of course she HAS to be at the centre of it) and the other one constantly moans and asks advice but doesn't take that advice and then moans again because nothing's changed.

I have enough worries and negatives in my own life, without being forced to take others onto my shoulders too. It used to stress me out having long typing sessions answering loads of inane questions or offering advice knowing it would be ignored, whilst trying to deal with my own stuff and look after my own family and neither of these people ever offer help to anyone else, so I put my foot down.

I do check notifications when I get back to the phone but if its a woe-is-me rant from the usual suspects (both close members of the family so blocking them isn't an option), I just pretend I've missed the notification.

Got to admit, I love putting the phone down at 7.30pm and knowing I'll be away from it all night,

The problem is it’s too much.

I use to love spending an hour chatting on the phone with a friend after spending all day with her at school. I loved Facebook when it first came out, updating my status and checking what my friends are up to.
Now I’m sick of on demand communication, what’s app groups for anything and everything, teams at work, text messages, messenger and I’m not even on the more current chat apps.
i do answer especially my kids and husband but everyone else ill answer if ive got time but otherwise I leave it and yes sometimes forget.

I do. I ring my elderly father most days, godmother at least once a week, sister several times a week. Friend in Australia every week for an hour. I rarely use my mobile to ring but use the landline. Mobile signal crap where I live. And being social is face to face not exchanging WhatsApp messages. I hate voice notes and never make them and are less likely to listen to them straight away.

I genuinely hadn't realised sending chatty messages on Whatsapp was considered being social. For me, being social means face-to-face over coffee, wine, a bite to eat, or an event. And if that isn't possible then a video call. For me, even email would be a better way to properly 'talk' than Whatsapp where any lengthy discourse feels arduous, especially with my fat thumbs.

I detest voice notes and never listen to them!

Doesn't that work the other way as well, though?

Just because someone has messaged me, doesn't mean that I'm obligated to reply. I could be sat twiddling my thumbs for all that matters - it's my time to do what I like with.

I don’t buy this too busy to respond nonsense - you only have to sit and people watch to see people are glued to their phones!! Even in cars whilst sat at traffic lights! I think it’s rude. It’s almost a ‘my time is more important than yours’ scenario.

I think people are utterly bombarded with messages, calls, texts and emails now; and what’s worse, because of mobiles there’s an expectation the response will be instant, with ever shortening timeframes.

I don’t blame people for just not bothering if they don’t have to. Modern life is a total ball ache and everyone wants something from you

Err, I do.

What period of not replying becomes pointed?

24 hours is fine, 48 hours ok but is leaving it a week before replying, even though it was read immediately, telling the other person to bugger off-especially if it happens more than once?

Hate it too you suggest dates then silence. Its rude. Feel people are flaky now in general. Oh keep in touch. Then nothing😐

What's App isn't really social is it. Looking at a screen and typing isn't real social communication. It's exhausting having to keep up with messages on a screen, I'd much rather see my friends in person.

I hate that too! Don’t send dates if you don’t want to meet. I don’t get that, but then I’m literal. I won’t go down that path unless I actually want to see that person.

I’m pretty good at replying to WhatsApps or text messages (some friends prefer to text still!) - and mostly I get a reply! Maybe not straight away but def within a couple of days. I’m in two active groups - my DC are adults so no school groups and I don’t work in an office so don’t have that side of things either. There is a neighbourhood one but I tend to lurk unless it’s pertinent to me.
it takes a few seconds to fire off a quick message/send a meme, arrange a meet up and I used to spend hours on the phone chatting to friends back in the day - WhatsApp is way easier and quicker!
I still like meeting up w friends and chatting face to face - does that make me an anomoly?

You may not be bombarding them but they may be bombarded when your messages add to all the other ones they receive! I have quite a lot of WhatsApp’s going on at any one time, with family, friends, ex colleagues from multiple jobs, school groups etc. Lots of meeting up being arranged, it can feel overwhelming to keep up with.

It comes back. My DC are now mid/upper primary, and over the past few years I've resumed my hobbies and added a couple more, and made some new friends, who also have time to go out as their own kids have also got that bit older.
Having a toddler drains your physical and emotional energy like nothing else.

Ironic. If you can’t even manage a conversation with your dh because your toddler is there, how do you think other people have time to do it??

Don’t do this. Honestly I never ever pick up unless it’s my mum or siblings. I’ll get back to you when I have time. I have a few friends who love to chat, I just dont have the time. I also don’t want to be put on the spot for a favour or date to make plans. Text me so that I can think about it in my own time.

I hate calls. But even texts these days are like we just do a polite

Hi How are you. Good thanks you. Yeah. Works rubbish though. I know same. Joey did good at football. Ah brilliant. Wish Jessie a happy birthday from me. Much love.

rinse and repeat 😅

or have you seen this on the community Facebook… omg no! Huge isn’t it. Can’t believe they did that. Haha

then done.

Yes running or a club good. Its nice to get out.

This