AIBU to think my husband's cricket takes up too much time?

I guess it depends on what he’s like when he’s actually at home op? Does he engage with DS or does he sit on the sofa on his phone in the same room?

I do get people suggesting that you take DS and watch but having done that (my brother played) it does get boring. Plus why is it that we don’t see hoards of men parenting their DC while the mums play (for example) netball? Funny how the blokes always manage to get themselves into a position where their hobby/interest takes priority and the family can tag along and watch if they fancy it?

The equality is absolutely key. We alternate bedtimes anyway so each of us gets plenty of early evenings to ourselves. And I have at least 3 long weekends a year when I'm away completely. Plus one week long work trip.

Even with the 5ish months of the cricket season taking up half a weekend I think we are probably still about even. And it isn't first thing on a Saturday or Sunday. He still does the normal Saturday morning stuff.

It's your husband sacrificing family time.

If you don't want a regular hobby, just every few weeks arrange to be out on either the Saturday or Sunday. If he says but I'm playing cricket, you can reply well you need to sort out a babysitter then. You are always going out without us. This is my time.

It may (?) make him realise what he's putting on you.

I think you'd be less resentful if the overall picture was balanced.

Is there one regular evening a week where he does solo bedtime and you can do a hobby? Could you take an equivalent number of solo afternoons in the off season?

I think it's fair enough. The training in the week is fine, the whole day on a Sunday isn't ideal with a young child - but in the nicer weather you can go as a family, surely? He doesn't need to be interested in cricket. He can take a book, an iPad, something to play with.. you can take a picnic, and just sit in the sun all afternoon. I used to work at a cricket club when I was a teenager and there was a family atmosphere because so many people chose to do this.

I'd be taking up a hobby that takes me ot of the house all day sunday, at least in the short term, because I think its important for him to understand what hes expecting of you.

Depends how many weeks we’re talking. FIL is hugely into cricket and MIL always resented it. It was worse for her though because he also worked away all week so Mon-Fri he’d be away then he’d get home Friday evening, Saturday or Sunday all day he’d be playing cricket. I believe this wasn’t even seasonal either, they’d just play all year round…

It really is a long ass sport, not like football or rugby where at least it’s over within a couple of hours. I feel for you.

There was a time when I would have got really annoyed about this too. But I’ve realised there is nothing to be gained by that approach. As someone said, he is entitled to a life and hobby outside kids so I think it’s more about you having a conversation with him about it and you making it clear you need more from him when he is about and also - what can you do for yourself away from you child and husband? I always got mad my partner never made offers to look after the kids so I could do stuff. But I ever did either - he would just go and do it. So you should do.

Get your son involved in the youth game! Most clubs run the E&WCB “All Stars” training for kids over 5 as a gateway in to cricket. They may even have a women’s team. Lean in! Cricket is a very family friendly sport, there are always families and kids spectating and often food and drink for sale (And pray they don’t sign up for an indoor winter league!).

You have to accept this. Find your own hobby or interest or just go and do fun stuff with your kids. That's what I used to do.

I wouldn't spend this amount of time on a hobby and neither would my OH. We both had a time consuming hobby before kids and neither of us do it to the extent that we used to because it would take up too much parenting time.

We do have 2 kids and they are younger though but I still think it's a lot.

It's golf and darts for my husband and honestly I don't mind it. My kids are older now though but if I'd had one child I'd be fine with the cricket.. It's seasonal as well and sport and socialising is a big priority for us (son does ice hockey in winter, golf in summer and darts). I think you need to be getting time to yourself too though and he absolutely should be actively parenting when he is around. Do you have a hobby you get time to do?

Is there no clubhouse that you can pop down to in the afternoon or evenings where other wives are and kids for your son to run around and play with, rather than just watching the game (which would bore me as well).

Well, it certainly is a problem that he's not doing the active parenting. Do you get time to yourself while he parents solo? Is he pulling his weight with household tasks/mental load etc.? I think all of those would influence me on whether it's reasonable or not.

It's totally normal. Everyone needs hobbies, and this is a wholesome one. Take your son with you at the weekend, so he can enjoy the fresh air and hang out with the other kids. You can relax and read a book, if you don't actually want to watch.

Take the kids and watch. That's what we did and DW eventually ended up as scorer for the team! [Her "career" with the club lasted longer than mine did.]

You don't have to stay for the whole match. Cricket is probably the most family-friendly team game there is.

DH gave up playing cricket when DS1 was born because ‘he wanted to spend time with his son’. Both DSs now play and DH and DS1 are likely to play men’s’ cricket this year for the same team. Personally l’d have been disappointed if DH had done anything different.

I agree it can be an utter pita to have kids with any man who has sport as a first love.

DH is a season ticket holder for football, it’s not a local team so is often out most of the day or all evening. Yes it’s seasonal but only not playing for about 2 and a half months.

I want DH to be happy, but also it does mean i struggle to have a regular hobby for myself because of childcare. Next month i’m trying my 5 year old with a weekend hobby and i will have to see if they will let me bring my 2 year old.

If you get together with someone who plays cricket, them playing cricket is to be expected. YABU. Would you prefer a couch potato?

Actual involvement. Doing stuff. OP even put an example in that post. Using some hours at the weekend to take the child out somewhere for a walk or a run around rather than sitting on the sofa scrolling whilst ignoring said child.

It's being the one that actually meets the children's needs. Not just the one in the same room as the child, not engaging.

What the heck is 'active parenting'?