AIBU to think my husband's cricket takes up too much time?

Does you 6 year old do any activities that your DH could get involved in?

my 2 (9&5) are out every day at various clubs. My DH helps manage the 9’s football teams and 5’s cricket matches. So while it’s not “family time” going the park or whatever it’s still active in their hobbies. We only do family days out on 1/2 terms because are weekends are taken up with kids hobbies and then we both have season tickets for premier league football teams (different ones) so one of us is always at the match with one kid (9 goes with DH, 5 comes with me)

No.

My recommendation as a cricket widow for many many years is to go with him, home matches and away. Once I started going I got to know the other players their families. Kids started playing with other and we regularly had over 10 kids having fun outside all season. We took stuff for them to do, games, crafts, plenty of snacks and I wouldn't have it any other way now. We formed the women's softball team. Most of the kids play as well now, a few at county level and spend most evenings at some sort of match! It's exhausting and I barely sit on my sofa all summer but the it's a great for the kids and me.

Check out livlifestyle crickywidow on Instagram as well 🤣

God I remember these days. My husband was obsessed with playing. He was semi professional in his young days and when we met (later in life <cough>) he was the cricketing star of our city.
I foolishly tried to ban him from playing when the children came along but absolutely failed! It had been his passion forever and though it irritated the shit out of me (training once or twice a week, playing every weekend..) I could see how happy it made him
He 'retired' last year and hasn't t played since apart from, coincidentally, this evening and to be honest I'm pleased. It makes him happy.
The kids didn't suffer for this - in fact play as well and seem to love it - and his tales...
I have my hobbies too and it works for us.
Having said that, I do feel for you. It's dull as fuck and I don't even pretend to understand it!

You need to volunteer at your husband's sport to be 'kept busy'?have you no job or interests of your own?

She said she finds it incredibly boring, so would I. Does that change your suggestion at all?

A lot of people saying it’s seasonal but this is seasonal in the nicer seasons. Less of a pain if it’s winter that you’re missing out on doing your own thing. You could split out the weekend parenting but as already stated it’s nice to have a family day rather than each solo parenting on different days. So on that basis I think each parent having their own weekend day to spend as they please every fortnight works well. The tricky bit is his hobby is a team sport so it’s not really an option to participate at your own frequency. If it’s really important to him and you don’t actually have an activity in mind for yourself that you’re missing out on, try and make it work. But make sure you get that time to yourself back throughout the year. I think it’s important that parents maintain their hobbies and interests, and if you’re all having your main meal together every week day then that’s at least some family time no matter how the weekend is taken up.

All the posts on this thread trying to sell it as an enjoyable way to spend time are really not 😄 it sounds completely shit.

Sounds like the issue is the man choosing to not parent his child well, every day.

I actually remember my Mum praying for rain when we were kids!

The thing is, you hardly ever hear of any Mums having these vastly time consuming hobbies. Especially not those who also work all week and therefore not with their child then either.

I think YANBU. It’s too much. Especially with the after match events and the lack of active parenting at other times.

Maybe just the cricket, with an agreement that he takes sole charge of some other evenings in the week, and some active parenting on the other day at the weekend, would be OK. But as it is, it’s too much time away, even for a short season.

Plus cricket is insanely boring for most people to watch (I know some like it). Especially whilst entertaining a bored child - might be alright if you could sit and have a drink/ read a book at your ease. So going along to watch doesn’t really help.

And why should the DS make the dad’s hobby his own?

My Dad played weekend cricket when we were young and I find it insane that he took so much time out from three young children (as we were).

Goodnon himnfor having a interest and whatnsoundsnlike a good social group
Very hard to juggle needs.and family
What do you do outside if family life?
I spend half a weekend day doing my own thing for me and my interest as We are all our own person.

I was waiting to see how long the "short" season was before making my mind up if OP was BU or not.
5 months to me is not a 'short season' it's almost half the year. I would find this unfair OP

An another fellow CWAG!

Yeah game day is looooong. Training also long and then other random activities like sorting the pitch, bar stock etc.

My son is 9 now. When he was little, like you I found it mind numbingly boring watching and too time consuming.

However now he is 9 he loves going up to the club, seeing the other kids, messing about in the nets. I go and chat to the other people and often they aren’t on the field so they’re ’about.’ Son now plays for the local U9’s and it’s lovely to see him showing an interest, in part because his dad does it. Also means the DH likes taking son and we go and watch him play Friday evening and have a beer. It’s so nice.

It does get better and it won’t last long, when you factor in the number of games rained off, can’t get a team together, holiday etc, it isn’t too bad.

It takes up ages! My husband and 3 grown up children all play, every week (DH doesn’t play every week, I drag him out sometimes!) it dominates our summers and affects everyone’s moods 😊
you’ll have to get your son playing. Then on a nice day you sit in the sun with a book, although sometimes you hide in the car from the rain, but still with your book! Or you drop them off and have the day to yourself.
Wait till you drive 4 hours to Durham to watch them get out first ball, and then you get to drive them home 😂

Honestly though, establish boundaries. It doesn’t take all evening, I don’t have small children any more but DH comes home at a reasonable time so we have a bit of an evening. And they don’t have to play every weekend

My dad used to play cricket, but not when we were very young and he never stayed for the social element. It didn't make him popular with his team mates but he always said his interest was just in the sport. He was also a very involved parent the rest of the time. I expect my mum would have preferred more free weekends but we all tend to remember it as warm sunny days and picnics, running about with other kids. I'm not sure we watched the actual cricket much other than when my dad was batting - a very defensive style, so it was often a very long innings...

Anyway, my long winded, nostalgic point is that even in the seventies my parents found a compromise - he'd keep the time away to a minimum and the rest of his spare time he'd focus on his family.

@Mammyjo12

and you shouldn’t feel guilty!

running is so good for your mental and physical health

@WimpoleHat

But everyone SHOULD have a life and hobby outside of their spouse and children

and the child will still be having family time… time with dad on a Saturday one to one while mum goes and does her hobby sounds pretty good for child, no?

Family time isn’t only beneficial if it’s with both parents at the same time

This.

My ex used to leave me with the kids all weekend for his hobby. It was only after the divorce I found out his mates all took their kids with them on the Sundays.

It's about 20 Saturdays out of the year. I'd far rather have to solo wrangle DC when we can be outside than in all the cold and rain.

And we do go on holiday so he misses a couple more.

As I've said, it's not the cricket per se, it's the balance in the rest of the year plus how involved he is in the other half of the weekend and generally.

Yes OP. Help with the teas and learn the scoring and you’ll love it 🥴. I want to know the sports women play where the men are hanging round supervising the children and knocking up the food all day ( in the best part of the year weather wise )

But only in summer, which in a country where you spend a great deal of winter with short daylight hours, rain and mud, means that you forgo arranging anything else during the months with the most pleasant weather.

If cricket was played in the depths of winter it wouldn’t be half as bad.

There’s a big difference between spending 1.5 days away each week when you don’t have young kids, and 1.5 days away when you do.

Most people have to sacrifice their hobbies to some extent with young families.

So in 7 years time lucky OP gets to sit by herself and watch hours of cricket. 🤣🤣 I honestly thought you were going to say in 7 years you'll have a full day to yourself. Also, her kid doesn't like cricket...

100% this! Neither of them like cricket yet everyone thinks they should learn to love it to support hubby...🤦