AIBU to question nursery refusing drop off before a planned outing?

Just because the nursery have to put up with late drop-offs on a normal day, because you "only" disturb their normal routine and they have to settle your child instead of focusing on the entire group

doesn't mean they have to delay or change activity because one person is always late.

I don't think you're unreasonable at all, they agreed you'd be dropping before 9.30 and then changed their mind on the morning PLUS I don't understand the ratio thing at all, surely they'd been planning to take your dd so there should've been enough staff anyway.
It does sound like it's all not gelling well though. I know some children do hate the transition and are fine when they get there but I'd want to discuss in detail with nursery, is she genuinely happy there and how can they support with how tricky she is finding attending.
Ignore the people saying you just buckle them in and get on with it, having empathy for your little one in this situation is good parenting, she is telling you something isn't right and you're listening- I think it's just working with nursery or finding a new childcare option (child minder might be gentler for her as its more similar to a home).

You are supposed to be there at 9 aren't you?
Which means that most parents turn up at 8:50 - 8:55 and wait, drop as soon as the door open at 9 on the dot and pretty much everyone is ready by 09:02 😂

Parents work, they don't hang about on most mornings.

But you expect the whole nursery to delay their outing waiting for you who might, or might not, turn up at some point around 9:15-9:30 and has done repeateadly.

I applaud the nursery who is making a point, why should their entire schedule based around you?

TBH I think your bigger issue here is that a toddler is setting your household's schedule. How are you dealing with that?

I'm being brutal here, but if you can't manage getting her in on time at 2 years old, you'll be fucked when she's 13.

The trip was to start at 9.30 but what time did your daughter’s session start?

I think probably official drop off is 9am so I do think you're on slightly dodgy ground? 9.30 was not drop off time, it was the time they'd originally planned to leave for the outing, but they ended up leaving earlier and your daughter was late.

Massive pain I know, but I think that's what they'll argue.

What time is latest drop off? It's been a while since ds was at nursery but his holiday club they have to be in before 9. I know you've been driving matter but when is she meant to be in by? I wonder if the staff member who told you 9:30 was ok shouldn't have

If they specifically told you they were leaving at 9:30, that is unacceptable. You are paying for her to be there. I would 100% be questioning how they had planned to manage ratios, had you not been 10minutes late.
My son was booked in for the full day from 8am, but we had no need to be there that early as I don't have a 9-5. So we dropped at 9am for circle time and had breakfast at home! They said it's best to have them there for then (9am) to start the day with everyone, but they certainly wouldn't have turned him away for being 10 minutes after that!

If it was a pre school I’d understand it more because unless you had a doctors appt or similar they would expect you to drop off and pick up at the set times.

For a private nursery this seems madness. My friend’s nursery discouraged them picking up unless within a specific window, but we could drop off and pick up whenever we liked. If you didn’t drop off (usually we did 8 ish) and hadn’t said you wouldn’t be in, they’d message on the app to ask whether everything was OK as they were expecting X in. More from a welfare angle I think.

its unfair for them to move the goalposts. My caveat is if there is a big drip feed like all drop offs before 09.00.

What time were you supposed to be there? Was it be there for 9am so everyone is ready to leave at 9.30am or just be there before 9.30am?

If everyone was ready to go then waiting for 1 child to arrive would be frustrating.

Perhaps they didn't believe you were going to be there as quickly as you said.

Perhaps your child also meltdowns for them and there was a risk the trip would become difficult for everyone because of that.

Perhaps a nursery isn't the right setting for your child. A childminder with a smaller number of children might be better.

they said 9:30 and you would have been there by 9:30.

Then they siad you can't meet them at the park due to being out of ratio

My guess is that they decided your dd wasn't going to be there on time and so planned the park trip without including her in the ratio.

whatever the reason, if you had been there by the time stated then they shoudl have accommodated you.

If you were not there by the time stated, sadly that is on you.

Why does it matter if you’re “late”? It’s not school, there’s no lessons and if they miss an activity it’s not the end of the world surely! You’re paying for your child to be there.
@Curlywurlycarly I hope they’re going to refund you for the half day?

Sounds like they were trying to avoid taking your DD on the trip. But they were sneaky about the times. And then telling you that you couldn't just bring her to the park. They sound pretty awful tbh.

Wouldn’t it be easier to get her up earlier?

Sleep in her clothes? Would you like to go to sleep in your clothes then do your full work day in the clothes you slept in? Scruffy, unhygienic behaviour. Afford children the same dignity you'd give yourself.

So they all left the nursery? Every single child and staff member went to the park? This sounds strange, usually if there's an outing (even if it's a regular occurrence) there is a skeleton staff left behind, often with children who have opted out.

the nursery sound very inflexible which is not at all helpful! Your daughter sounds like she is unhappy there anyway, maybe it's time to move?

how old is your daughter? Do you have a long time left at this place before she starts school?

Hi, I work in a nursery and we drop ratios when we go out. However your child being on the numbers for today and then basically saying she can't go cos of ratio is wrong, they should have factored all that in prior to arranging the trip.

On the odd occasion we have gone out and a child has come in much later, they have just joined a different room until their room is back as at nursery. I'd be requesting the morning's fees be rolled over to another session as this is their doing not yours.

How can you be 'late' to nursery? I've never know a nursery have set drop-off times. I drop mine anywhere between 8 and 10. I'm paying for the full day. This is nuts to me

What the hell?? That's insane! Aren't you paying for it? Never heard anything like it.

What on earth is late at nursery?! I’ve paid for the day and I’ll drop off and pick up when I like within those times surely! I understand the limitation of them being out - but I’d expect to be able to drop off at the trip destination as you suggested. How would they have managed ratios if you had been there before 9? Sounds like they realised they wouldn’t have enough staff for the trip if you were on time and took advantage. I’d want a refund for this morning.

Maybe try to find out why she's having meltdowns? If she's been happy for 18 months this is a bit odd.

So they cancel your morning session with absolutely no notice? I'd be complaining and making sure it was removed from my bill.

I’m saying this respectfully, but the people telling you to make sure you get her there earlier have clearly never had to deal with a child refusing nursery/school and don’t know just how hard it is. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time getting her there and I’m certain you are doing everything you can in a very stressful and difficult situation. The nursery are absolutely being unreasonable, here. You kept to the time they told you and then they moved the goalposts. They are not being understanding of your circumstances and this is a service that you are paying them for so they really need to be a lot more accommodating. I think it’s worth asking for a meeting with the supervisor to give you a chance to explain the difficulties you are having and ask for more accommodations and measure to be put in place to help support your child. Put the responsibility back on them, a little, here, as they have a duty of care to support you and your little one to make it an easier transition than it has been so far. Parenting is blooming hard sometimes but you are doing a great job and don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

YABU. Make her sleep in her clothes so no getting ready in the morning. Just hold her down and strap in the car? Sounds like you making a meal of mornings. Our nursery go out every morning at 9, if you’re not there you have you go and drop off wherever they’ve gone to.

Definitely not overreacting!
Presumably you will be reimbursed.
They have let you down. If you weren't working from home it would have made things impossible for you.