AIBU to question nursery refusing drop off before a planned outing?

Why is that at all relevant to whether the nursery are taking the piss or not?

What a load of nonsense. Getting a two year old put of the house can be challenging for a whole load of reasons, none of which have any bearing of how that child will be at 13.

Where’s their father in all of this?

If you pay for nursery from 9am to 5pm then its totally up to you whether to turn up at 9am, 9.15am, 10am or 4pm. You have paid for the hours.

Definitely ask for your money back OP. What would they say if you said you didnt want her to go on the trip and wanted her to stay at the nursery? Your contract states childcare from x time to x time on x days and they changed the goalposts so that you couldnt go in

Ok so it's not unusual for kids to kick off after settling. The reality kicks in my mum is leaving and I'm here. It can be weeks or months later.
with regards to park outdoor ratios are lower for safety. If your kid was there they would have borrowed management to help. But management isn't going to open a room for one late kid.

Being late because she is struggling should be something they support you with - not judge you for. They sound completely unreasonable to me.

What wonderful insight. I wonder why the up hadn’t thought of that. Jesus weep

Did you miss the bit that they weren’t meant to leave for the outing until 9:30? OP was being respectful of their plans, it was them who didn’t stick to the timetable!

I have worked in nurseries, primary schools, and secondary schools. Children in a good nursery will spend the vast majority of the day playing. This is backed by research in child development and neuropsychology. Even the EYFS curriculum makes it clear that children learn best through play. I said that nursery is “mostly children playing,” which is true. You added the word “just” to downplay the importance of this activity, even though it’s one of the most important things children do. I’m not sure why.

In any event, a child at a good nursery with knowledgable staff will spend most of their day playing. The late arrival of one child should have no impact. It is entirely different to eg a secondary school classroom where a late arrival can cause additional burden on the teacher who is trying to teach a very rigid lesson to 30 children and now needs to catch one up.

Their communication on that morning is t acceptable and I would be querying staff ratio and asking for a refund that day.

However the wider issue is her being dropped off “late” each day. It is disruptive for everyone there. Them leaving at 930am isn’t them saying to them “right everyone coats on” - that’s a mammoth task getting all the kids ready to leave by 930am. This will be the same for any activity. It pulls their attention away from what they should be doing for everyone else’s kids to accommodate yours. I think it’s worth meeting the Nursery Manager and explaining the issues so you can agree on the best routine to try and get your child in which works for you and the nursery - mostly for your child. If she’s suddenly started refusing then why is that? She’s trying to communicate something has shifted and changed that she doesn’t perhaps like?

You don’t know my child.

She’s neurodiverse and she finds the process of getting ready to go somewhere really challenging. As soon as she got there, she went bouncing in happily and didn’t want to leave at the end. The preschool were so flexible if we got there late because they knew we were doing our best. We persevered through the meltdowns because it benefited her to go. She’s getting a lot better but getting ready to go out can still go either way now.

But sure! You definitely know her better than me, her dad and the other adults who, you know, have met her.

She loves it so much she is crying and having meltdowns 😂

Eh? She was kicking off as a demonstration of her loving it? Surely this is a sign of unhappiness about going there?

Why is she having these meltdowns? That might be worth looking into

If they told you they were leaving at 9.30, then they should have left at 9.30. You should make more effort not to be late if there is an agreed drop-off time. Both things can be true.

It sounds like a member of staff called in sick and nursery realised they no longer had enough carers to look after all the children, and you were the easiest to dump it on as you were late.

Otherwise the point they made about ratios would be meaningless. Why would they have enough people if you turned up at 8.50am but not if you turned up at 9.10am?

This, surprised by the comments so far.
They had an outing that they were going on, they can't hang around indefinitely for you, even if you said you were going to be there on time. They don't know that, do they? Sounds like you've been late several times before.

This.
When is dropping off time?

So they need a higher ratio when off site. When your daughter doesn't turn up, they realise they can go with one member of staff less who can then do things at the nursery instead. But it also means they can't take her direct because they would be out of ratio because they've made that decision based on the not unreasonable assumption of how many turned up on the day.

I am sorry if you think a nursery is just "child playing" and no "routine" or plan. They had an outing that day, so obviously they do have plans..

Either your children have had a terrible experience with a bad nursery, or you are ridiculously naive on the work and the way the days are schedule to benefit the children.

Why would anyone then leave their kids in such a poor environment is beyond me.

OP it does sound a little bit like they were trying to pull a fast one because they were short of staff, otherwise why ring you to tell you one time and then go out half an hour earlier than what they'd said, knowing you'd miss it. And then not letting you meet them there.

But like PP I'm wondering what time the nursery session actually starts. My youngest went to a nursery that opened at 8, we used to have to tell them by phone on any day if we were going to drop off after 9 because they said it was disruptive otherwise.

They agreed to let you drop off at 9.15. At 9am they told you that she couldn't come. They cancelled the session and you shouldn't pay and should also complain IMO.

YANBU nursery is paid childcare and there is no obligation to be there for any specific time. I’m actually laughing at PPs acting like you’ve commit some violation by daring to drop your child later than 9. Have you been to a nursery? It’s mostly children playing, a child joining the group at a later time is not missing anything that will impact on the day or “routine” of the other children.

They told you their plan was to leave at 9:30 and you would have dropped her well before then. They were the ones who changed their schedule last minute! Totally unreasonable to not accept her on the day and I’d be asking for a refund.

interesting that they had to call first, to advise about an outing (a polite nudge to be on time and respect others for a change?) and having to check if she would bother turning up or not?

Do other parents get called in advance to warn them the group is leaving at xx time?

They gave 2 warnings, maybe someone got muddled or they realised it was ridiculous for an entire nursery to be on stand by until the usually late child finally turned up, and they made an executive decision but politely called her to let her know they were leaving, all within the normal nursery times.

It's the same with parents in primary and secondary school, who don't believe the coach will always wait for their little darling.

I suspect this is the key thing here, that children are meant to be in by 9am and were leaving for the trip at 9:30am. Maybe the 30 minutes was needed to ensure they had everything ready, last minute toilet visits etc and OP has been consistently late which the nursery have now had enough of. I don’t blame them if so, not sure why people think it’s ok to be late and impact everybody else, leave earlier!

When they’d told her on the day that it was ok if she got there by 9:10-9:15, then yes, ABSOLUTELY they should’ve waited until that time before leaving! If it was a problem, they should’ve said so when she asked.