AIBU to question nursery refusing drop off before a planned outing?

Nurseries shouldn't be behaving as if they are schools.

I would be appalled if childcare if paid for wasn’t available due to a later drop off however I’d be willing to drive or walk to the park to meet the class group if late.

Define late? When my child was at nursery we could drop off at any time. If they’d refused me one day I’d be kicking up a fuss and certainly would not be paying for that day.

We were with one nursery with so many strict rules and found another one which was absolutely brilliant and completely understood ND children. DC loved it, thrived. It was run by a wonderful woman who would personally greet DC, know his fixation and lead him to her office to be grown up and look at the cameras.

In ours you can drop off whenever you want for a prebooked session. However, if you’d agreed for your child to participate in a planned outing we’d expect everyone to arrive on time. It is chaotic trying to get 20 children to the toilet, coats and shoes on etc. when they are ready you can’t hang about for a random straggler, especially if you know that child might be significantly later than the others if they haven’t turned up on time and you don’t know when they will arrive.

We wouldn’t cancel your session but your child may have to go into a different aged room. If they didn’t have space for your child in ratio because of that it might be a problem for your child to come in, although we’d probably not stop them if the main group wouldn’t be out too much longer.

We might allow you to drop off to the location, depending on where it was but you’d have to drop bags etc to the building as staff may be carrying first aid kits and snacks etc already. Ratio wouldn’t be affected in this way as your child should already be counted in numbers.

I think OP said she offered to drop DC at the park? (Unless I misunderstood)

You should be able to drop her there any time - you’ve paid for the day and kept them updated

Ive never come across a nursery that specified when you had to be dropped off before. We used a Bright Horizons and an independent one, at one point they rotated doing forest school so if your group was going that day you had to be there before 0930 or you just stayed behind with the other groups.

I'm not the person you're responding to, but it is quite funny that you think childcare does not exist to cater to parents' convenience, but rather the other way around...

Why are they even organising an outing at 9am? Surely someone is quite likely to struggle to get there for that time.
And for them to bring their leaving time forward with no notice is completely unreasonable and I think they have in effect cancelled your morning session and you are due a refund. But unreasonable enough to push you to explore other nurseries I'd say...

The ratio would bother me, how will it be safe after lunch?

I know you are trying to be hilarious, but you really are not. I am more puzzled than you can find this so funny? Bizarre.

😂 Wow you must live in a very good post code, avoiding all the riffraff that comes with those gym crèches that don’t need prior booking! Does your gym crèche also do daily outings to the pet shop? I must look into moving to wherever you are.

I wasn't implying anything

It's the OP who said they were late again, and the nursery decided not to make everyone wait for no reason at all.

If you say you booked a nursery with no structure, open to drop off at random times, I believe you. Thankfully there are none of these around here, even gym and shop creches need to be pre-booked, but I am not implying they dont' exist.

@ThisCandidMintGoose You know and agree over how they function when you sign up.

Right, so not sure why you're implying/assuming that all nurseries function the same way as your (quite unusual) one.

How boring! Our nursery go out every day usually twice. So of course we have to be on time. It’s not difficult.

fair enough if you have chosen a nursery with flexible drop-offs and it's all agreed in advance. If you are not expected at a certain time, then obviously you cannot be late.

I and others specifically paid for nurseries that would not be indoors all day, if my kids could stay indoors or in the garden all day, they could do that at home. As a client, I would not accept outings being reduced or cancelled because of late comers, and if I was running the nursery, I wouldn't put everyone on hold because of one parent.

You know and agree over how they function when you sign up.

My nursery don't have outings. They do activities inside or they play in the garden. So there is absolutely no issue with DC arriving at a time that is convenient to me.
To me, if you are paying for childcare between x hours then you should be able to drop your child off and collect them at any time between those hours. If you are late for snack time or whatever then your child misses out but they should not tell you that you can't leave them at nursery at all. It's a paid service.

you seem to confuse your very limited experience with a universal truth 😂
Of course many 1 and 2 yo go to nursery even with a SAH parent. What are you on about?

and very rudely confuse a communal set-up like a nursery dealing with many clients with your own private nanny. If you want the flexibility of the nanny, once again, pay for one.

In any case, it's the OP who describe themselves as constantly making us really late - not exactly an agreement with the nursery for using them as a drop off whenever convenient that day.

It's not "flaky" to drop your kid off and pick them up at a time that suits you, within hours that you have paid for. Literally every working parent I know uses a private nursery, because hardly anyone can afford to pay a private nanny. Many parents put their child in a nursery close to their place of work, if the commute is a problem.

SAHMs might be sending their children to the preschool class of private nurseries (age 3+), but the vast majority are NOT paying thousands of pounds per year to send their babies, 1 and 2 year olds to private nurseries all day, what are you even on about? 😂The odd one or two, sure, but they're not the nurseries' bread and butter.

I paid for the nursery to take care of my children in the best possible way, not to accommodate flaky parents.

Most nurseries not being a opened at time most people would need to commute is a clue. So no, of course they are not SOLELY there to facilitate one parent.
Half the kids in nurseries at least have a SAH parent too by the way 😂

You must be confusing nurseries with private nannies.

They probably work on a higher ratio when they are going out, that's what happened where I worked. On the other hand your DD was supposed to be in today so I don't know what they would have done if she'd been on time maybe they would have cancelled the trip.
If your DD isn't happy and the nursery is so far away can you move her somewhere closer? Does she settle at nursery or is she upset all day?

Private nurseries exist SOLELY to facilitate the parents' timetables - usually their work schedule. That is literally the only reason for their existence. It's really bizarre that you think they're not set up to accommodate different children coming and going at different times (on usual days, not trip days, although in OP's case there's still the issue that they told her they were leaving at a certain time and then left earlier than planned).

I would be concern with that attitude from them and your daughter refusal . Are you sure she is not being mistreated?

My ADHD son also had regular meltdowns leaving me at nursery, change and transitions have always been rough for him. But once he was in he was always fine. I saw lots of happy pics of him on the app.