I have 2 daughters 9 and 6. The 9 year old is quite the character, very loud and present but is funny and unique. My 6 year old is angelic, quiet, total sweetheart. My family say they are both extra, never still, always busy with some mischief but well behaved.
I treat them both age appropriately but similarly. The 9 year old gets reminded to grab her school bag, it’s her responsibility, the 6 year old the same but if she forgets I grab it for her. If the 9 year old forgets I send her back for it. That kind of thing. But they both get all the love and cuddles, they both still crawl on my knee for a hug etc. both have same 1:1 time.
My 9 year old is constantly saying I favour her sister and she gets upset about it. Iv explained I don’t, that I love the both equally. But I do have age related expectations of eldest. Iv made jokes and said the dog is my favorite. Me and my eldest have private jokes because she’s that bit older. I let her stay up later to balance the additional responsibilities so she gets good things with being the eldest.
But I’m at my wits end. I lost my patience and said she was basically calling me a bad mum and Iv had enough. I know in my heart I constantly try to make things fair and I do genuinely love them both the same. They are chalk and cheese but both are the center of my world.
Aibu to say enough, I love you but I’m not talking about this anymore. I’m not giving it any more oxygen and headspace.