Just had a friend hide from me!

She's probably just not in the mood to talk. Sometimes I would do anything to avoid speaking to anyone - even if my best friend knocked on the front door.

I once slowed down driving on a country lane when I saw a couple of friends walking down the lane. As I went to wind my window down they marched past without stopping. I felt hurt and wondered if I'd done something. Turned out one woman's daughter had committed suicide. It may not be about you.

I'm too invested

She might have been having a crisis mornng and just couldn't face seeing anyone.

Message her and say 'Hi Jane, sorry I couldn't stop and chat today, run off my feet! See you on Saturday!'

She'll probably message back saying 'Oh thank goodness, I was in a real hurry today and couldn't stop but I've been feeling bad ever since!'

Then you both carry on with your day.

For me it’s the fact she stayed behind the van! I admit to pretending not to see people sometimes when I cba but I’m pretty smooth in doing this in that I’ll just act a bit vacant as I walk past so it’s easy for them to think “oh she didn’t see me/must have been preoccupied” etc (thanks GCSE drama!). Sometimes people have almost jumped in front of me and waved as I’ve done it which is annoying, then I have to acknowledge them! I wouldn’t literally stand and hide behind something till they passed though, that’s weird…

I strongly suspect it’s the holiday. Lovely lovely gesture but most people would feel a little embarrassed by this. Is there any chance she’s found out you lied about the voucher? She might also just be having second thoughts about going for other reasons but isn’t sure how to tell you.

I'd be surprised if she believed the whole 'spare voucher' story.

I'd do this, Op

the other day I was crying in the garden (long story) and my lovely neighbour came out. I didn't want her to see me all red eyed and sniffling so I hid in the shed

turned out she was STRIMMING HER LAWN

and there were SPIDERS

ended up sat on the shed floor for about an hour

(it was still better than the alternative imo)

Fair enough op. I wasn’t suggesting that you were lording it over her or anything remotely like that btw. You sound like a lovely person!

I don’t suppose there is any way she could have found out that it is costing you something?

I would be more concerned she’s ok than hoping to see a friend squirm. Also best to get extra info first before condemning her to the friend scrapheap.

😆

Maybe she was talking to someone else behind the van

I don’t think it needs such a sledgehammer approach. Could be all sorts of reasons why she did it, or maybe just in that moment she didn’t want to engage. Sometimes I’ve been in the mood to acknowledge and chat and sometimes I've taken a great interest in the window display of a vape shop (I don’t smoke/vape) for the same person.

It is a lovely gesture of you to offer this holiday op and they have accepted so it is strange she ignored you and I can understand that you feel a bit hurt and confused by that.

On the other hand, imho, the gift of a holiday shouldn’t make her any more or less responsive or beholden to you - beholden is too strong a word but I hope you know what I mean - than it would if you hadn’t given her this holiday ifyswim.

And people can feel a bit conflicted over gifts like this. They can on the one hand feel very grateful but at the same time feel a bit ashamed that they are in the position where people offer them a generous gesture like this. It’s a sensitive thing. And maybe the latter feeling triumphed briefly when she saw you unexpectedly.

It’s a difficult thing to explain but whereas giving someone a large present like a holiday may give you an uncomplicated “good” feeling of kindness or generosity or whatever, the recipient’s feelings are never quite as straightforward I think.

She could be feeling very awkward that you've paid for the holiday because you think she's poor. It doesn't exactly put you on an equal footing. I'd find it patronising.

She normally waves or chats. So i would assume she was in a hurry, unwell, upset or having a bad morning and couldnt face anyone.

I might be worried about her if very out if character and would check in on her at some point later in the week.

Why not? She saw her and hid from her. You would think because of the Holiday she would be very friendly not hide so obviously. If she was in a hurry and couldnt chat why would she stay hiding behind the van,?
As I said she was taking the piss and not too proud to take a free holiday. Yes I would definitely want her to squirm. She is not a friend.

I'd probably message and say 'are you ok X, not sure if you saw me this morning, I was going to say but when I parked up you'd vanished!'

Come on now, who hasn’t played hide and seek?

op you are making up stories , yep she could hate you or she may have got up this morning in a foul mood and not be fit to speak to anyone lest she cry. She may have no make up on or bad hair or a massive zit or had Botox and is bruised. She may be exhausted or depressed and just not able to muster up a hello.