MIL keeps asking about children’s savings accounts

Just set up an account so MIL can put money in it. Not sure what the big deal is. You keep the one under your name too.

Exactly this. I have a friend that found his passbook and blew it all without his parents knowledge

You’re mad. My MIL has put a small fortune in the kids’ regular saver accounts over the years. They are only dimly aware of this (and I’m the parent administrator of the account - but it’s in their names) but one day they’ll be very grateful for it.

She wants to invest money in them . That's probably all..Sounds like a kind thing to do.

I've done a mix here. My savings for my kids are in my name as I'll be using this to go towards university. I kept their gifts from family in an account each attached to my bank account and have given one son his at 16. Older son not fussed so have kept to one side but he's fully aware of the amount and that he can have it.
It is frustrating that she's questioned it. I've never been asked where the money has been going but told my parents about the linked account and how much was there.

Because parents can and do use the children’s money. They take some out to buy a new coat, family days out, that ‘amazing new toy’ that will be forgotten about next year.
By putting it in the children’s name they are the only ones who will spend it.
What if the parents split up? If the account is in the mother’s name and she feels short changed she could spend it.
I wouldn’t transfer money to someone else’s account. Once it’s there you have no control on how it’s spent.

I don’t think she can. Money laundering laws prevent it. It’s beyond me why OP doesn’t just do the tax efficient and sensible thing and open an ISA in her child’s name and give her mil the details so she can pay into it.

People give differently and it's their choice. My children's grandparents (both sets) would give a small gift (my mum worked in a charity shop and they'd get a bag of gifts that looked like new) and also send money. They also spent valuable time with them. My now young adults are grateful they have money of their own to choose how to spend. I have always modelled sensible spending and I trusted them not to blow it all (although if they had, that would have been their choice).

That's why I struck a balance. My savings for my kids are in my own name. But money from relatives quite rightly goes in the children's names.
I hope I am raising the children to understand money and use that money wisely, but it's essentially money we can afford to lose it they blow it. But it also gives them freedom and some money of their own, perhaps to spend on something that could be hugely helpful to them. Or fun for them

My first boyfriend died at 19, and my best friend at 21. I honestly won't mind if my children spend their savings from relatives having fun, life can be unpredictably short

Then maybe MIL needs to state this.
As from how it sounds currently she is just being nosy.
If she said I want to gift the children a large amount for their future and was wondering if you had an ISA I could have the details for to put it, the I don't think the OP would be as annoyed.

She may well want to be giving them money for the future. I know when my niece was born I wanted to get her presents of equal value to other family members, but there was no way I was buying £100 worth of “stuff” for a baby- it would have just been a waste. So I asked about premium bonds for her.

I have seen on this site before people saying money is tight, toddler has been given birthday money, would I be unreasonable to spend that on a family day at the zoo for them to enjoy, and similar.

It may be you MIL doesn’t want any ambiguity in the money she hands over. It isn’t to be frittered on things the kids want now, and it isn’t to go on family days.

It takes 5 minutes to set up an account, if I was you MIL your reticence to do it would instantly make me suspicious on what you were doing with the money. I really don’t see why it has to go through your account at all.

I’m pretty sure the OP knows how bank accounts and money work.

That’s not the point though. Her MiL’s attitude is the point.

For what it's worth, I had a discussion with my in-laws about gifts for my grand-nephews and grand-nieces.

I was told that the children always have plenty of toys and it's difficult to know what to buy for children, so for Christmas and birthdays the grandparents send money directly to the children's accounts.

My mother opened an account in my name back in the '60s, but had control of it. When I went to university, she signed it over to my control.

So far.

My mum gives each of her grandchildren her annual tax free gift allowance of up to £3k. She transfers it direct to each one's savings account. Maybe your MIL wants to do the same and wants reassurance that is in their names before giving larger sums.

Have you never read the posts on here from people having 'borrowed’ their children's savings from accounts with your set up, and then being completely unable to pay them back? There was one who used it as a house deposit for themselves and tried to say it was in their children's own interests to be stolen from for that purpose. You may think you would never behave like that but by refusing to give her details of an account that you don't control, you look shady and untrustworthy.

With a lot of DC, the day they turn 18 they blow the lot, unfortunately. It happens, and no-one can stop it. 🤷‍♀️

Also I think the MiL is heavily insinuating that OP is stealing (or may steal) money intended for her DC, which is very offensive; and is roping in SiL as a ‘flying monkey’ character.

I think OP’s instincts are reasonable here. Where’s the respect for her role?

By the time we were 11 we had about three accounts each.
Midland bank did some great freebies incentive to sign up.
We had a building society book too. I was taught the importance of saving.

If you ever are in need of benefits their money in your account makes a difference.

So for birthdays and Christmas you don't want people to get your children (or if you are a grandparent you don't want to give your grandchildren) a present? You only want to give them money for their future?

Not always true! My kids have their own ISAs with uni fees/house deposit money in. We've always explained to them thats what the money is for. If you have raised your kids properly to respect their parents they won't dare blow it all at 16. I didn't.

I think MIL should not send anything until you give her child bank accounts details
no day no money

she’s not being unreasonable

there many reasons the money should be in the child’s name

tbh your evasiveness and reluctance would raise alarm bells for me

The kids can withdraw all the money at 18 and not everyone feels that that is right for their family.

I have really sensible kids but it makes far more sense at the moment for me to have a savings account on their behalf.

If giving out details to a relative to transfer money, they'll expect it to be an individual account solely in the child's name (e.g. one you can't remove any money from), not one under your own account that you still control.

Well £50 is a lot of money to many.
OP you sound very rude. Whether it's £50 or £500 is not the point.
I'm starting to see why she has a problem with you.

Open a junior ISA. Why wouldn’t you. Hargreaves Lansdown have cheap platform fees. ChatGPT can help you choose funds if you need. Something like a global all share tracker with a medium to long term horizon is what I have for my children.

My kids have accounts that I control and their own for spends. Any savings stays with me. I know too many people whose kids had £££ in savings accounts and blew the lot on shit when they got access at 18.

Why get them a gift? That's not the point of giving the money. It's towards savings for their future. I opened accounts for my children and they're grateful that they now have their own savings accounts to choose what to spend it on. One is using it to start investing in stocks and shares. It's not about amounts of money but an accumulation over time.