AIBU to ask people not to poop in new under stairs cloakroom?

This must be a sick joke. No one could be so insane as to try to control which toilet other people poo in. It’s so insensitive to people who have incontinence issues, which affects many women who have given birth. Utterly disgraceful OP.

I’m only on page 3 but this is such a funny thread. Good work everyone

Are menstruating women allowed? What about flushing tampons? What about bowel issues where someone doesn't poop but has bad flatulence. Is that allowed? I think you'll need to be very specific in your sign.

Our downstairs toilets hates poos and often blocks so we have a house rule - no poos downstairs but I would never ever tell a guest that, they can just poo and I’ll deal with it after. It would be so embarrassing for a guest to have to say ‘er I think I’ll use the upstairs loo’…… might as well hang a sign round their neck saying ‘I need a poo’!!

Exactly, I don't think the 'just get a proper loo installed ' brigade understand the plumbing constraints.

The privilege of having two toilets I presume?

I don’t know a single person who has more than one bathroom- I do hope you remind the poor people not to shit in it 😬

I had one installed last year in my cupboard under the stairs and it's lovely! Totally impractical to have a toilet installed with mains drainage as my kitchen floor would have had to have been dug up, and I am mid-terraced, so access for plant equipment would have been a nightmare!

As long as you get a good make such as Saniflo, and you don't put unpermitted things down the toilet, such as tampons, cushioned toilet paper, bleach etc, then there shouldn't be a problem.

You might want to invest in a sturdy bucket for the back garden for when you get old and going upstairs may feel like climbing a mountain to you - actually buy one now, if you ever have elderly and/or disabled visitors.

I presume you mean visiting men and not other householders? Otherwise, how is the stink and girth of their turds so much worse than yours, if you eat the same things?

Also, we all know exactly how this would play out (and rightly so) if somebody started a thread saying "My husband monitors and restricts what standard toilet functions I'm allowed to complete in one of the toilets in our house and says that only he can fully and freely use it".

Well, obviously your shit smells of violets and roses 🌹💐

I'm concerned about all these people whose shit smells so awful that a fan can't get rid.

Downstairs loos are not for number twos.
This is a hill I will die on!

I dont let men shit in the downstairs toilet. It's a rule in my house. They have to go upstairs. They stink, they take ages, the door is right by the hallway/kitchen/lounge and. sometimes it gets blocked because the pipe leaving it isn't very wide.

I shit it in it though.

Somebody at my DS's last school once infamously did a huge poo in a urinal in the boys' toilets, so they must be at least reasonably versatile!

Indeed. So why is OP protesting that it simply can't be used for poo, when that's clearly a basic function of its design?

Nobody is going to reject a sleek, low sports saloon that can't go off-road like a Land Rover - when that's patently not what it's designed for; but if it can't handle the motorway, that's where it fails. Just like you don't angrily stomp back to Curry's and demand a refund because your new microwave can't receive Channel 4!

...With a rear-angled parking mirror for the ladies, of course.

Not sure that OP's daughter has a penis to point at porcelain 😉

Why not just put in a urinal?

Omg seen it all now 💩 👮

how embarrassing for your guests

Macerator loos are fit for purpose but due to them having to 'macerate' the 'payload' to exit via a small bore waste pipe, not the usual waste pipe, they can't handle things like tampons (which also shouldn't be flushed down a regular loo but that's another discussion). They can handle pee, poo, and a reasonable amount of bog roll.

The purpose of a macerator loo is to have a loo that doesn't have to be plumbed straight into the regular soil waste system. It gets there but through a smaller bore pipe.

Gawd, this is getting boring...

Am I the only one who thinks that The Macerator sounds like a less commercially-successful Arnie film?

"DON'T get to the chopper!"
"Get your ass to my khazi upstairs!"
"Come with me to the first floor if you want to whiff!"

This is what I really don't understand. Everybody knows what a toilet is for, and apparently people are very happy to accept one that has only been designed to cope with half of the standard payload that toilets receive.

If you were at a car showroom and the salesperson showed you a flash new model and said "Yep, this baby works like a dream! Latest state-of-the-art, top-drawer design. Oh, just so you know, it only has two gears, so it's amazing to drive, but anything over 20mph will probably break it, OK?"... would people cheerfully hand over their hard-earned loot to secure one, or would they clearly understand that this product is clearly wholly unfit for its basic purpose and so run away with their purse firmly closed instead?!

Apologies, on reflection it was other posters who were being a bit ‘If it didn't happen to me it never happened'.

How do some people function in this world ? Long haul flights, motorway service areas, family homes with only one loo, etc. ??

They just find a loo and use it. Meeting or not.

Oh no, I can believe that other things do happen. I'm just saying that's what I do. I mean I now know that people designate different loos for different functions. Mad!

Just don't do it by accident!