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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask people not to poop in new under stairs cloakroom?

488 replies

keepswimming38 · 17/05/2026 20:46

We are just having a new cloakroom installed downstairs. AIBU to put a sign up saying ‘no poo loo’ or ‘if you plan to do a poo do it in the upstairs loo’?

My DH thinks it’s not reasonable. I just down like the idea of people doing a poop in there and then the macerator having to … anyway AIBU?

OP posts:
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Original poster
keepswimming38 · 17/05/2026 21:34

Allonthesametrain · 17/05/2026 21:32

Why? It's a toilet. Have the window open, air freshener available, those in toilet fresheners etc. So embarrassing for guests to know you're going upstairs for a poo! Hey look he's going up for a shit!

There’s no window. The hall is in the centre of the house. No external wall. Hence the need for a macerator.

OP posts:
CelticSilver · 17/05/2026 21:33

'Into which we don't pass solids.'

Original poster
keepswimming38 · 17/05/2026 21:33

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/05/2026 21:26

So suppose you OP ever get caught short and need to poo downstairs. Will you not use that toilet?

I can’t envisage that my bowels will be that loose that I can’t make it up 1 set of stairs. If I’m ill with diarrhoea then I’m probably going to be upstairs anyway.

OP posts:
Allonthesametrain · 17/05/2026 21:32

Why? It's a toilet. Have the window open, air freshener available, those in toilet fresheners etc. So embarrassing for guests to know you're going upstairs for a poo! Hey look he's going up for a shit!

tachetastic · 17/05/2026 21:32

We rent a flat I live in some days for work which has a macerator toilet and in 15 years it has never had a problem with poo, but crikey toilet paper can be a nightmare.

Never tried it with puke, thankfully.

Gwenhwyfar · 17/05/2026 21:31

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/05/2026 21:27

If I have to do it not at my home then I do it.

Show quote history

Yes, I'm not doing it in my trousers so in the toilet is better.

Beachtastic · 17/05/2026 21:31

What you need is a really big potted plant in the corner of the hallway, with a soil area big enough to squat down on, and put up a shower curtain around it for privacy. Perhaps scatter some pot-pourri around the area, as they did in Tudor times.

Gwenhwyfar · 17/05/2026 21:31

I think you have to call it a toilet.
The image of people pooing on your coats is quite funny.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/05/2026 21:29

SurleyTurnip · 17/05/2026 21:26

…into which we do not pass solids.

Sounds like it’s from The League of Gentlemen where they bred toads. In this house…

PigletJohn · 17/05/2026 21:27

Rather than macerator, consider digging a hole in the garden and using a bucket.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/05/2026 21:27

bethepeace · 17/05/2026 21:24

Are people really pooing at other people’s houses? I genuinely don’t think I’ve pooed at a friends house since I was a kid!!

If I have to do it not at my home then I do it.

SurleyTurnip · 17/05/2026 21:26

…into which we do not pass solids.

Dinggirl · 17/05/2026 21:26

Squirrelchops1 · 17/05/2026 21:02

Who the heck visits people and goes for a dump?
In my entire life I've never visited friends or family and had to snap one off.

These replies are brilliant 🤣

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/05/2026 21:26

So suppose you OP ever get caught short and need to poo downstairs. Will you not use that toilet?

bethepeace · 17/05/2026 21:25

Ps we have a family rule - no pooing downstairs toilet because it makes a smell - have never told guests this, just assume they’ll poo in their own houses so didn’t occur to me!

vsosi · 17/05/2026 21:24

maybethisway · 17/05/2026 20:50

Why is it better for them to poo upstairs?

Because there is a macerator rather than a main sewage pipe on that toilet

bethepeace · 17/05/2026 21:24

Are people really pooing at other people’s houses? I genuinely don’t think I’ve pooed at a friends house since I was a kid!!

neilyoungismyhero · 17/05/2026 21:23

Why don't you just have family wee use for the macerator if you're concerned and advise guests etc. to use upstairs bathroom please. No need for further explanations.

itsgettingweird · 17/05/2026 21:21

I get your concern and the reason you want it installed.

I would have the toilet door a lockable door with a key that’s kept locked from the outside.

don’t have it as an accessible toilet for everyone to use but rather a loo your dd can use during the day. That way if she needs to poo it’s only dealing with her waste.

no one even needs to know it’s a loo as you have one upstairs they’ve always used.

Mansionscoldandgrey · 17/05/2026 21:17

YABU for using the word 'poop'.

Papster · 17/05/2026 21:17

PashaMinaMio · 17/05/2026 20:51

Your husband is right.
Stop being silly.
Your visitor(s) might be embarrassed having to say they’re “going upstairs”, nod nod, wink wink.

“I need to curl one out so I’ll go upstairs.I’ll put some music on my phone so the sound of me straining doesn’t frighten the kids”

Hotsaucenoketchup · 17/05/2026 21:17

so a guest comes to your house - says ‘can I use the loo’

you say ‘of course - just down the hall on the right’

they go in and start doing what a toilet is designed for - then see a sign saying ‘don’t shit in here’

so now they have to try and stop mid plop and go upstairs or break the rules and continue ??!!!

for the love of all that is holy - please don’t do this . Don’t have a sign.

Just deny any downstairs toilet except for direct family who live with and presumably can abide by these rules.

just direct all guests upstairs.

why oh why install a toilet if not fit for purpose ?

not sure whether to laugh or cry at the craziness of this thread!

CurdinHenry · 17/05/2026 21:15

Wtf do you live in a country with no proper sewage??

Gustavo1 · 17/05/2026 21:14

We have a no poop rule downstairs. Always have had. No poop downstairs I was young either. The downstairs loo is often by the hallway and front door. Would hate to answer the door shortly after a smell.
It’s a rule I’ve brought into my adult home and it’s followed by my DH and by children once they are past the toddler stage.
I’ve never expressed it to guests but I would feel quite surprised to find a guest pooing in a downstairs loo. If it’s ever happened, I’ve not known about it.

TalulahJP · 17/05/2026 21:14

my ex’s parents had a loo that was in the utility room with a curtain. although the utility room had no door so any smells or noise from one room would waft into the other.

i always felt nervous using it. i was told by my then bf it was pee only in that one. fair enough. totally got it.

id be fine with a sign. id direct people to the upstairs loo “the downstairs loo is a noisy macerator for no1s only, for your comfort you may prefer to use the upstairs one, it’s quieter and the lights better for makeup too”