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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask people not to poop in new under stairs cloakroom?

488 replies

keepswimming38 · 17/05/2026 20:46

We are just having a new cloakroom installed downstairs. AIBU to put a sign up saying ‘no poo loo’ or ‘if you plan to do a poo do it in the upstairs loo’?

My DH thinks it’s not reasonable. I just down like the idea of people doing a poop in there and then the macerator having to … anyway AIBU?

OP posts:
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5
loislovesstewie · 17/05/2026 21:54

I really wouldn't want people to know exactly what I was doing in a loo. I mean, it's a loo, we all know what we do there, I just don't want to announce it.

AllBranGirl · 17/05/2026 21:52

When guests ask to use your loo just direct them to the one upstairs. Problem solved!

SqueakyFromme · 17/05/2026 21:52

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 17/05/2026 21:49

Don't put a toilet in that people can't poo in..that's ridiculous.
It's like having a bedroom you can't sleep in, or a kitchen you can't cook in..
I havent read full thread so apologies if there's some.big other story but as it stands this seems completely ridiculous.
Save the space for other things or let people do whatever thye need to do in a toilet. Surely..

No it’s really not as there is a second toilet.

teraculum29 · 17/05/2026 21:52

are you aware that sometimes people might want to go for a wee only and suddenly as that sit they have the urge for poop? so what then? finish quickly wee, run upstairs for number 2?

Calliopespa · 17/05/2026 21:52

Nogimachi · 17/05/2026 21:49

Yes, you can’t do this.
I grew up in a home where we were only allowed to do no. 2s in the downstairs toilet because there was an extractor fan.
I did used to say to friends please use the downstairs loo for a no.2 but these were really good friends who uunderstood that my dad was a bit weird and very fussy about hygiene.
This isn’t something you can stipulate to your guests as an adult…though you could of course pretend the toilet doesn’t work properly and suggest they may prefer to go upstairs?

This is even worse: "Please use the downstairs loo so we can fan out the smell after."
ETA though on second thoughts perhaps "Please don't poo in the downstairs loo as our toilet might not cope with macerating it" is probably still more awkward.

KilkennyCats · 17/05/2026 21:52

Why install a toilet and then put conditions as to how it can be used?

EuroNotVision · 17/05/2026 21:51

Maybe just tell visitors when they arrive it’s a banker use the upstairs toilet? So there’s no embarrassment of knowing what they’re going for and they don’t have to walk in and out or hold it. You can say the downstairs toilet is not working or just for your daughter.

bur tell people when they arrive only to use upstairs.

SqueakyFromme · 17/05/2026 21:51

@keepswimming38 I’m with you OP, presumably your family that live in the house will know, and you don’t have too many guests and that they will only want to wee anyway.

giemepeace · 17/05/2026 21:51

I’m not sure why you’d even install the toilet when the macerater is your only option and you don’t rate them after your previous experience? Hopefully you’ll listen to everyone and not put a sign up. I think you’re so far into this that your only option is to tell close friends and family not to poo in there, and hope that any less familiar guests don’t.

Nogimachi · 17/05/2026 21:49

Yes, you can’t do this.
I grew up in a home where we were only allowed to do no. 2s in the downstairs toilet because there was an extractor fan.
I did used to say to friends please use the downstairs loo for a no.2 but these were really good friends who uunderstood that my dad was a bit weird and very fussy about hygiene.
This isn’t something you can stipulate to your guests as an adult…though you could of course pretend the toilet doesn’t work properly and suggest they may prefer to go upstairs?

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 17/05/2026 21:49

Don't put a toilet in that people can't poo in..that's ridiculous.
It's like having a bedroom you can't sleep in, or a kitchen you can't cook in..
I havent read full thread so apologies if there's some.big other story but as it stands this seems completely ridiculous.
Save the space for other things or let people do whatever thye need to do in a toilet. Surely..

Toddlermom26 · 17/05/2026 21:49

keepswimming38 · 17/05/2026 20:46

We are just having a new cloakroom installed downstairs. AIBU to put a sign up saying ‘no poo loo’ or ‘if you plan to do a poo do it in the upstairs loo’?

My DH thinks it’s not reasonable. I just down like the idea of people doing a poop in there and then the macerator having to … anyway AIBU?

To me, YANBU. We have a downstairs loo and the flush is awful. Everyone in our house knows only to use it for a ‘number 1’ and go upstairs otherwise. Not sure about guests though because we don’t have many, but I don’t think I could say don’t go for a poo downstairs and not cringe 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Calliopespa · 17/05/2026 21:48

Just ask loudly "Is it Number One or a Number Two?" whenever someone asks to use the loo, then direct them as appropriate.

LaburnumAnagyroides · 17/05/2026 21:47

bethepeace · 17/05/2026 21:24

Are people really pooing at other people’s houses? I genuinely don’t think I’ve pooed at a friends house since I was a kid!!

If I need to poo, I poo. Why wouldn't I?

As for idea of going into one loo in someone's house, reading a sign and having to evaluate whether to pull my pants down or relocate. Batshit, but only in the upstairs loo.

Original poster
keepswimming38 · 17/05/2026 21:46

Now im concerned about toilet paper quantity! Mm 🤔

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 17/05/2026 21:46

PashaMinaMio · 17/05/2026 20:51

Your husband is right.
Stop being silly.
Your visitor(s) might be embarrassed having to say they’re “going upstairs”, nod nod, wink wink.

nod nod stink stink.😉

GinaWhoLikesADrink · 17/05/2026 21:42

Tigerbalmshark · 17/05/2026 21:36

That was my first thought too! I imagined an under-stairs cupboard, and somebody shutting themselves in there and shitting all over the coats and shoes 🤣🤣🤣

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Hahaha! Exactly! And then OP wondering whether she's being unreasonable about it 😂😂😂

outerspacepotato · 17/05/2026 21:42

keepswimming38 · 17/05/2026 20:52

My daughter recently got sepsis and it’s affected her mobility. She would use upstairs loo in morning to poop though.

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Why can't she have a bedside commode in her room if the new bathroom is for mobility reasons?

And I thought you meant a coat closet and wondered why you would put a toilet in with your coats?

BauhausOfEliott · 17/05/2026 21:41

YABU for calling a toilet a ‘cloakroom’

Soontobesingles · 17/05/2026 21:40

How many people are going to be using this toilet on a regular basis? Unless you run a social club, surely just your immediate family and occasional guests? I also agree it’s weird to install a toilet that you don’t want used as a toilet.

Gwenhwyfar · 17/05/2026 21:40

Tigerbalmshark · 17/05/2026 21:39

The country has proper sewage pipes!

But OP has not connected her downstairs toilet to them.

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Then she puts a sign up for people to put paper in the bin like they do on Crete.
Poo has to go into the toilet though...

Tigerbalmshark · 17/05/2026 21:39

CurdinHenry · 17/05/2026 21:15

Wtf do you live in a country with no proper sewage??

The country has proper sewage pipes!

But OP has not connected her downstairs toilet to them.

Gwenhwyfar · 17/05/2026 21:38

fabstraction · 17/05/2026 21:36

Hanging a sign about poo is just too awkward to contemplate. I would just not tell people about the downstairs loo and direct them upstairs if I was this relctant to have someone use it. Or claim it's permanently out of order. 😅.

But seriously, it should be up to the challenge of a normal poo, or else what's the point?

Yes because otherwise everyone will know which guest needs a poo because they've gone to the upstairs toilet.

fabstraction · 17/05/2026 21:36

Hanging a sign about poo is just too awkward to contemplate. I would just not tell people about the downstairs loo and direct them upstairs if I was this relctant to have someone use it. Or claim it's permanently out of order. 😅.

But seriously, it should be up to the challenge of a normal poo, or else what's the point?

Tigerbalmshark · 17/05/2026 21:36

GinaWhoLikesADrink · 17/05/2026 21:14

Oh, forgot to ask. Is "cloakroom" a euphemism for toilet? My first thought was Why The F are you friends shitting on the floor in your cloakroom?!

That was my first thought too! I imagined an under-stairs cupboard, and somebody shutting themselves in there and shitting all over the coats and shoes 🤣🤣🤣