AIBU to ask people not to poop in new under stairs cloakroom?

When they work, they work fine. And fingers crossed, you’ll get a good year or two before needing a repair.
But then comes the dreaded day where you hear a change in the motor. A humming or buzzing sound rather than the familiar, comforting roar.
Accusations of maltreatment will fly all over the house: ‘did you remember to remind your friend who was on her period NOT to flush her tampon?!?’
And then you will discover, the tiniest of toothpaste caps or hair grip has fallen down there and caused the whole thing to grind to a halt.
And then slowly but surely, the waste will start backing up the toilet bowl. And the smell will be unreal. At least until the poor overworked Saniflo engineer can get there. But you don’t feel too sorry for him, as he is paid VERY handsomely for his time. Yes, because normal plumbers won’t touch a Saniflo with someone else’s bargepole.

I've heard of cloakroom being used as a euphemism for downstairs toilets in estate agents' house descriptions but I have never heard the term in a RL conversation - I have only heard the room referred to as a toilet or loo.

Like others, my automatic reaction was very literal and I wondered why someone had pooed in the area used to hang coats. It took me a moment to stop and think and to realise that wasn't what the op meant.

To be fair, those who are pooh-poohing the OP (pun unintended ) will never have known the true horror of owning a Saniflo/macerator toilet.
I have one. And hell would freeze over before I bought a house with another.

Same here.
I've been surprised by how many people on the thread have one as they don't seem to work as well as a normal toilet.

Me! I have two kitchens (not the point of the thread I know). My house also has more bathrooms than bedrooms - it used to be a B&B

I have two loos. Upstairs and downstairs. I let my visitors go to either. As long as they don't poo or wee on the floor, I wouldn't get worked up about it. I would prefer people to feel welcome and comfortable when visiting.

Ok but I think OP will need to clarify further...

As per the Bristol Stool Chart, which types are the in 'solid' category, and which are in the acceptable 'liquid' category?

A type 7 would no more block a toilet than a wee. Nor would a type 6, IME. But what about a type 5?? OP?

Have you been eating ball bearings?!

I would poo in the toilet just for the crack

I suppose you could always hand them a beautifully-printed menu when they ask to use the toilet, so they can 'order' whatever they intend to do - only, instead of prices next to each toilet application, it could tell you which bog you need to use.

Then, if they ignore you and still go ahead and pinch a loaf into your downstairs macerator-powered cludgie, and kill the tiny little Ninja Samurai men who live in there, you can angrily hand them a rubber glove, plunger, mop and printed repair quote list from your local plumber, and glare at them as you hiss "Service is NOT included!"

Do older MNers remember the vintage twee Mabel Lucy Atwell signs for things like this? There was a popular one that said: "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be sweet and wipe the seat".

You could adjust one of those to say "You may, of course, wee like a horse; but this bog's unable to munch your cable".

I’ve had zero pushback

Not everybody can guarantee that when they go for a wee, though - sometimes your unexpected upgrade forces its way to freedom!

You might as well just have a urinal in there.

My DS has one of those loos in his house, The upshot was, after a while, nobody used it at all.

I would just keep it out of bounds for any guests, wee or poop, unless disabled. Just say because of your daughter's illness you'd like to keep it as a sanctuary for her. I kind of get you, it does feel weird pooping in a small room so close to a kitchen and living room. At least an upstairs bathroom usually gives you some space away from the door and the toilet usually has a bigger window by it. My daughter with SEN absolutely will not poop in the downstairs toilet and I have to get up the stairs with a mobility struggle to wipe her bottom even if I beg her to stay down here and poo. If I didn't have my mobility struggles, I'd probably prefer to go upstairs every time too.

Get a grip OP !!

You cannot ask people not to poo in it, no. But you can install a key lock and keep it locked when guests are in the house, and direct them upstairs to the main bathroom when they need to use one.
For what it's worth we have a macerator toilet in our guest annexe which has pretty high traffic as I rent it on Airbnb and it's blocked once only from over use when two people were staying there first several weeks and I doubt yours would ever see that much activity!

It was a bug infested shoddily done attic conversion studio with a bog in a cupboard next to the kitchen and the electric on a pound coin meter being rented from landlord that didn't live in the country.

I doubt they really cared about regulations. But I was 17 and desperate and it cost £62.50 a week so I sucked it up and lived there until I could move to my uni dorm a year later.

My MIL had a macerator 'cloakroom' in her old house which she told people never to poo in. We were staying at hers and I got the IBS call of nature, I forgot about the rule until it was too late. I was mortified but nothing bad happened. I told my husband and he told me he pooed in it all the time, as did his stepdad and brother.

I had sepsis after having DS1, please dont make your DD go upstairs when she doesn't need to. Let her poo downstairs in peace, she has been through enough.

You can't be serious.

No?

You clearly need more fibre in your diet

In your house, do you mean.? Or is it one of those things that only people with more than one bathroom know? 😬

Twee little verse.

Presumably everyone will know that someone has gone to lay a cable if they go upstairs. What if they are desperate?

I think it may be better not to invite people round.

People don't usually poop in the downstairs loo.

Perhaps this is why lots of Mumsnetters don’t like shoes in the house (another hotly debated topic). People mistake the toilet for the cloakroom, and do poos in the shoes. Better keep them out of the house, for safety.