AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

"...so why is it only now that the half siblings are asking about inheritance?"

They are not even half siblings. But I do agree with you that the very late claim doesn't do them any favours.

From the OP, it appears that they are the biological children of his adoptive mother. The mother (and also father) that didn't ever tell him that he was adopted.

But it doesn’t change the sentiment of the person who’s Will it was.

By redistributing your share estate of the estate to those intentionally left out of the Will you are also disrepecting this wishes of the deceased. Of course, once the money is given to the beneficiary it is up to them what to do with it.

I’m trying to understand the timescales here. It seems like DH lost his parents a while ago so why is it only now that the half siblings are asking about inheritance?

Regardless, if she wanted her share split between her three children then even if that wasn’t stated in her legal will it was a wish he knew about and so he really should honour it. Going against her express wishes isn’t something to be done lightly.

This is important. People can be really impacted emotionally / mentally by what you leave them in a will as it shows what you 'really' thought of them. Whether true or not, people see it as 'who was loved more', not 'who needed it more' so I love your idea.

You are asking for opinions, so here it is. It's none of your business at all and he has no legal or moral reason to share his money with essentially strangers.

That's the end of it. However, to elaborate: I don't understand why the mother left her husband everything if she really wanted her biological children to have money too. That's odd. Have you read her will? Even if you read her will and she left her money to her husband instead of her children, with a note explaining why: it then became her husband's money when she died. He had every right to make his own decision about what to do with his money on his death. And if you try to convince your husband to go against his father's will, you're saying you are prioritising the wishes of the already dead mother, over the recently deceased father. Why? His wishes are just as important. He will have had his reasons for leaving that money to your husband.

To me, it sounds like virtue signalling or cowardice to give in to these random people who are coming out of the woodwork to ask for money they didn't earn and are not entitled to. It's weird. If it were justified, okay, but I haven't heard where it is.

in my family, my grandad died before my Nan and left everything to her but he wanted his biological kids included in the will when my Nan died. My nan ensured that all the kids inherited as he had wanted. Before my mum knew that’s what the will said, she was very clear that her and her brother would split with their half sisters if they weren’t included in the will. It’s a shame your DH doesn’t respect his mother’s wishes.

At least you now know what type of man he is.

You can be sure in a divorce he’ll happily try and screw you over financially.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

This is ambiguous. How and/or why did she leave everything to her husband if she wanted ‘her half’ to be split between her three children?

Like father like son. They both know what their wife/mother wanted, and are both selfish arses.

Whatever his mother's share was, could be split between the 3x of them, but no more than that.

Why wouldn't he just give them their share?. I imagine he would be furious if the shoe was on the other foot. Well l certainly would not want a partner who is greedy, not a nice thing to be...Hope he does the right thing, money isn't everything, but it does bring out the worst in people, just like your dh

Is this a reverse?

If honouring the M’s wishes:

1. your husband receives 1/2 from his father and (third of 1/2) from his M. 4/6 altogether ie 2/3 of the total.
2. the half siblings each receive 1/3 of 1/2 (from their mother) ie 1/6 each.

His mum left her share to his dad in good faith. I would lose all respect for him if he didn't share it voluntarily.

His dad has already betrayed his mum. Now he wants to do the same thing.

If he knows it's what his mother wanted he should do it.

Exactly! Why does the OP think she can 'tell' her OH what to do about anything? Maybe in the circumstances she can try to influence him but she certainly can't 'tell' him what to do! Imagine the furore on MN were a husband to 'tell' his wife what to do with her inheritance!

If he decides to give them some money, they all need good legal advice. You can’t just give away huge sums of money without tax implications!

Why are people so bad at writing wills? It’s infuriating. I have written a will myself, it is incredibly simple to say “My estate will go to my husband but I would like to ensure my children from my first marriage get their fair share, how do I do this?” then the solicitor, who’s literal job this is, will tell you how to do this.

My MIL did this. Told us, once diagnosed with cancer, that she didn’t want x child getting any money. We said ‘you have every right to put whatever you want in your will’. A few months pass, she is quite close to death and now says to BIL ‘make sure x doesn’t get my money’. After her death BIL is distressed to find she has no will and therefore x will get her fair share as a legal beneficiary.

BIL actually tried to stop x getting money by being the executor and we had to quite firmly tell him to follow the damn law. (No neither me nor my husband is x)

If you want something to happen after your death PUT IT IN YOUR WILL

Well it's up to him.

That said, I would think carefully about giving them some amount significantly less than they think they deserve.

Because then they will still be pissed off with you just as much, and you won't have the money. In a sense you would be better off giving them nothing at all.

I also think it kind of depends where the money in the family came from. But in the absence of any info on that it is hard to say.

I know what I'd do in the same circumstances. Once Inheritance tax has been paid plus solicitors and anything else, I would take half of what's left and split one half between his half brothers. That way he has carried out his mother's wishes and will have a large amount to pay whatever he's got to pay, plus no Ill feelings with family members, even if he didn't see them often, they are still family.

Obviously it's up to your DH to share or not to share his inheritance but it would be a nice thing to give them a small share.

You could ask but I find TELLING him is a bit much. Hopefully he will share some but it is his choice.

Oh Wow! Yet another story of half and step kids badgering for in-laws money & inheritance.

It’s his money, left to him by his biological parents. The rest of these scroungers can shut the fook up.

if the parents wanted these step kids to have money, they would have made provision in a will. And explained the rationale for leaving kids out. Probably never saw them & realised they were horrible people but didn’t have the guts to tell them the truth without realising it would cause volcanic rage arguments. Better let the next generation down deal with the crapola.

honestly, I think blended family’s should be discussed in school and people’s responsibilities should be discussed at length.

it’s so typical that they are elderly and have all their mortgages paid off but they are still scrounging and begging for cash. Greedy fookers.

My DH was left everything, including a sum of money the others didn't know about and gave his siblings a third each. Just because they didn't know about it, (it was compensation money paid to his Dad but in DH's name) didn't mean he shouldn't share... The fact these people know about it and he would deny them is a big mistake... It's a big enough estate to be life changing for anyone that receives a third - it's enough to buy a property. I have to say I would think less of my DH is he had kept it all.

This 100%

I agree with you too. I have a stepson who is many years older than our Dd, and has done well with his life and family. Despite this I wanted Dh to leave his share of our assets to his son but he insists it's all going to Dd, and our wills reflect his wishes. This doesn't sit well with me at all and my intention is to hopefully get a deed of variation and make gifts to his grandchildren