AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

I find it very strange that your DH doesn't care about what his mother's wishes were. Do you find him lacking in integrity generally?

This is wonderful. My grandmother did something similar. Left money in her will to a daughter my grandfather had in a previous relationship (my grandfather left that daughter nothing.) There are some decent people.

Yes it is a huge sum!

So itsounds like his parents had a mirror will, if dad died first everything goes to his wife, if she died first everything goes to him. Unless the mum made a bequest for when she died, her assests pass to her husband and on his death to the named beneficiary, your husband. Thats the legality. He doesnt have to share but how long has his mum been dead? Have his half brothers been keeping only in touch to claim some estate. All seems odd. Wills don't have to be fair.

So essentially his mum left nothing to any of her children & his dad left it all to his only child?

Or she changed her mind.

I know I keep repeating myself but there is no use everyone talking about morals and DH being shitty when no-one actually knows what her final wishes were.

And I hope I annoy everyone enough that they write or update their Wills if not already done!

Same. I could never simply ignore my mom’s wishes.

I will say though - funerals and inheritances really bring out the worst in people. I don’t know any family that has avoided money fall outs over wills.

I agree with you. He is going against his dead mothers wishes but this is why it is imperative to structure one’s affairs to avoid this happening. I am from a blended family and so a trust has been set up to avoid this situation.

Yanbu to give him your thoughts and remind him what his mum wanted.

But what a position to be put in. I imagine a lot of people's integrity goes out the window when they find themselves in this fairly common scenario.

How do you know what a true wishes were? She may have said one thing publicly but told her DH something else or changed her mind.

True. It could be significantly less. For what its worth I would honor my mums wishes, appreciate he doesn't have to.

That’s if mums half was even worth 500k back when she died.

It might have been 20k or 200k unless someone digs back though her personal bank account and checks how the property was owned. She might not have had much at all to will in the years she died before ops dad did.

Joint account automatically goes to the other named person on the account if I remember correctly. House likely again was automatically surviving partner as per the deeds.

That leaves her personal cash, investments and pension only.

So is this a home that MIL and FIL bought together? It might be a little different if it was FILs before marriage, but his mum was very silly not to organise this in her own will. Even from a tax point of view it would make more sense surely, because wouldn't the stop children be paying more on inheritance left by a step dad, or money passed on from a step brother than on something passed down from their mum

Yes I’d forgotten that. I wonder if DH being adopted was significant in how things were bequeathed?

I totally agree with you. And I wouldn’t be happy with my dh if he didn’t give his siblings their fair share. He will still get way more! It’s sad really that he prefers money to helping his family.

This is why you should never write a will that doesn't explicitly set out your wishes, as otherwise you're relying on someone's good will to carry them out.
I don't think they have a legal claim but morally yes he should share it.

The mum left everything to the dad. Who clearly didn’t respect her wishes.

Its his choice. However, if my husband did this to siblings I would judge him and question how I still felt about the man that I married.

He should share. I would say he keeps 50 percent as his fathers share and the. Split the other 50 3 ways for his mother's share.

As often said on MN - inheritance is not a right (beyond what is written in law, whether that be the rules of intestacy or through a Will).
If you want your wishes to be truly followed then write a Will. There is nothing moral beyond following the wishes of the deceased.

Who knows whether the mother truly wanted to leave anything to her biological children.
She may have said that outwardly to keep the peace but then told her husband to give everything to their adopted son. He may have been honouring her true wishes.

This is exactly what my mom did.

My dad has children from his previous marriage. But the house he and my mom own together, she wanted to ensure that my brother and I got that, because it was our family home and nothing to do with our half siblings. (We barely have a relationship with them - their choice. And they have a mother with a house that can be left to them).

So she severed the joint tenancy to be tenants in common instead, so that she would have 50% of the house that she could specifically ring fence in her will for my brother and I. My Dads will leaves his half of the house to my mother first, and then to us if my mother has passed.

If you have express wishes you want fulfilled, then you need to make a will that reflects that. Don’t just rely on someone else to do that for you.

Have you read her will? .... And if you try to convince your husband to go against his father's will...

There is nothing to indicate that either of them made a will. Both of them may have died intestate.

If the mother wanted her older children to inherit a share of her estate, either after her death or after her husband's death, she could have ensured that by making a will.

If the first will is drawn up properly, the children can't be disinherited by the surviving spouse making a later will.

This.

his mum half split 3 ways is 1/6 to each brother let’s say it is 600,000 - he still gets £400000 and it’s the right thing to do

I'm not sure it is that much. Mum's half of 1m....£500,000 divided by 3.