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AIBU?

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AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

465 replies

hesbelleth · 17/05/2026 18:17

DH lost both of his parents quite young, when he was in his late 20s. His parents were both on their second marriage. He was adopted but only found out on his dad’s death.

His mum had two biological children with her first husband. They are in their late 50s, so much much older than DH. He sees them maybe 2-3 times a year, but growing up he didn’t really see them for a few years at a time. They’re both nice people.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

When DH’s dad died, he left everything to DH. It’s not an enormous sum but includes a very small flat in Kensington so it’s an estate of £1m+

DH’s siblings have now come to ask if he will be giving them their share of the estate. That is, for the mum’s half, split between them. DH doesn’t want to give them anything as it was left to him. He also says the money is more useful for him than them as they’re retired or about to and own their own houses outright.

OP posts:
LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:48

Sensiblesal · 18/05/2026 20:45

might just me me but I don’t see why DH would share the inheritance. I think he is right to keep it.

this is not his fault but Mum’s bad planning, she didn’t leave a will with her wishes. Also wouldn’t be that easy to tell what is mums and whats not at this point.

Oh, look, the OP's hubby's got a MN login...🙄

LadyVioletBridgerton · 18/05/2026 20:47

Totally up to him 🤷‍♀️ They clearly had the wrong type of will for a second marriage. If your mum wanted to ensure that your siblings got their share it would have to be a trust will (I believe it’s called), not a mirror will.

Back to the point, he can split if he wants but no legal obligation.

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 18/05/2026 20:46

DisforDarkChocolate · 17/05/2026 18:22

I agree with you but it's his Mother's fault for not sorting this out with her will.

If it was me I'd give each sibling 1/6 because otherwise I'd feel awful.

This. She shouldn’t have made her Will to say that.

Sensiblesal · 18/05/2026 20:45

might just me me but I don’t see why DH would share the inheritance. I think he is right to keep it.

this is not his fault but Mum’s bad planning, she didn’t leave a will with her wishes. Also wouldn’t be that easy to tell what is mums and whats not at this point.

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:43

MaggieBsBoat · 18/05/2026 20:38

What a mean spirited little man your DH is.

Awfully mean spirited and conniving.

MaggieBsBoat · 18/05/2026 20:38

What a mean spirited little man your DH is.

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:37

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:35

I don't think alley cats fuck each other over like this, though, figuratively speaking.

I mean cats are not loyal at all. Are they. Eyeballing my own. 🤣

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:35

southcoastsammy · 18/05/2026 20:33

And cats famously take drugs and pay sex workers? FFS.
Money really does turn people into shit bags sometimes, imagine going against your DMs wishes and screwing over your siblings for some cash. I hope it’s worth the money to lose a relationship with siblings.

Op hasn’t been back to confirm there is proof of these suddenly all these years later being mums wishes.

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:35

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:28

Is he blowing his money on hookers and coke?

Because ally cats is more fucking around rather than hoarding cash 😅

I don't think alley cats fuck each other over like this, though, figuratively speaking.

Another2Cats · 18/05/2026 20:35

PhaedraTwo · 18/05/2026 20:11

Houses are usually held as joint tenants and so the spouse will automatically inherit up the other’s death.

If you are in England and Wales. In Scotland, that's not the case. We have no concept of "joint tenants" where property is owned, not rented. There might be a survivorship destination but it's not always the case.

"In Scotland, that's not the case. We have no concept of "joint tenants" where property is owned, not rented. There might be a survivorship destination but it's not always the case."

You are mistaken. In Scotland, a 'survivorship destination' is the exact equivalent of owning a home as 'joint tenants' in England & Wales.

The Scottish equivalent of the English 'tenants in common' is sometimes, rather confusingly, referred to as 'joint tenants' or, more often,as 'pro indiviso'.

If a property in Scotland is held on a 'survivorship destination' basis then the deeds will typically include the phrase that the property is owned "equally between them and to the survivor of them".

In contrast, for a property that is owned on a 'pro indiviso' basis the deeds will typically say that the property is owned "equally between them and to their respective executors and assignees".

southcoastsammy · 18/05/2026 20:35

Namechangedtohideidentity · 18/05/2026 20:29

LTB!

At the very least get every financial transaction you ever have with him watertight. You know his priorities now, and while you might be fit this time you might be the victim next time he decides money is the most important thing.

southcoastsammy · 18/05/2026 20:33

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:28

Is he blowing his money on hookers and coke?

Because ally cats is more fucking around rather than hoarding cash 😅

And cats famously take drugs and pay sex workers? FFS.
Money really does turn people into shit bags sometimes, imagine going against your DMs wishes and screwing over your siblings for some cash. I hope it’s worth the money to lose a relationship with siblings.

dibly · 18/05/2026 20:30

Absolutely he should. We’re in the same position as your husband’s half siblings. DH’s Mum died years ago, left everything to his Dad. He then remarried and had 3 more children, he died last year and apparently what is left will be split amongst the DH, his brother and the 3 other children- but it’s all gone very quiet and I doubt we’ll ever see a penny. It’s so morally wrong.

NotThisRecordNotThisRecord · 18/05/2026 20:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Namechangedtohideidentity · 18/05/2026 20:29

VIII · 17/05/2026 18:21

Well he seems like a lovely bloke. His selfish attitude would give me the ick to be honest.

LTB!

SonnyHoney · 18/05/2026 20:29

1 million is a life changing amount of money.
I think there would be a small part in all of this why we thought hey let's keep this money. However your moral sense kicks in, and you actually realise that that is an awful selfish thing to do!!! I don't think I could be with someone who treated others this way.

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:28

southcoastsammy · 18/05/2026 20:27

Or you staying with a man who has the morals of an alley cat.

Is he blowing his money on hookers and coke?

Because ally cats is more fucking around rather than hoarding cash 😅

southcoastsammy · 18/05/2026 20:27

Marieb19 · 18/05/2026 20:11

If he knows his mother wanted her half to be split 3 ways i think he does have an obligation to respect her wishes. Your DH would still have 3/5 of the estate and a good relationship with his brothers. The alternative could be a costly court case.

Or you staying with a man who has the morals of an alley cat.

ExecutorAttorneyAdvicePlease · 18/05/2026 20:25

PhaedraTwo · 18/05/2026 20:11

Houses are usually held as joint tenants and so the spouse will automatically inherit up the other’s death.

If you are in England and Wales. In Scotland, that's not the case. We have no concept of "joint tenants" where property is owned, not rented. There might be a survivorship destination but it's not always the case.

No Common Property law or have I misinterpreted that?

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:25

Exactly Dad could of blown it all on hookers and coke if he wanted 😅

Doubt they would be arguing over an old sofa and some clothes.

PhaedraTwo · 18/05/2026 20:23

Tulipsriver · 18/05/2026 18:27

His mum left her share to his dad in good faith. I would lose all respect for him if he didn't share it voluntarily.

His dad has already betrayed his mum. Now he wants to do the same thing.

I'm sure this scenario is entirely fictional but sorry that post and indeed many others are just nonsense.

Ma left her whole estate to her husband - it's his. He could spend the whole lot. It's up to husband.

Talking about "mother's wishes" is emotional nonsense. There are several ways her children could have been protected under her will. It's absurd to leave money or house to person A on the condition Person A can't sell, squander it or give it away.

diddl · 18/05/2026 20:21

"...his dad left it all to his only child?"
No, you clearly misunderstand the OP.

No I didn't!

Adoption made him his father's child!

ExecutorAttorneyAdvicePlease · 18/05/2026 20:20

JHound · 18/05/2026 20:01

Why not. She has written for advice. I am providing that advice based on what OP has stated as her husband’s reasons.

I see no point in basing advice on hypotheticals not mentioned. You are free to do so but you can cease harassing others to follow suit.

The whole thing is hypothetical, including what OP said.
THAT is the ridiculousness of the whole situation. But you are happy to give advice without considering why the DH should think twice before doing so. Ok sure.

Yepbeentherebefore · 18/05/2026 20:19

As someone whose been on the wrong side of a similar situation, I absolutely think he should share his mothers part of the money. Karma has a funny way of paying back, it certainly did to the person in my situation and from my point of view, it really wasn’t worth it.

Minnie798 · 18/05/2026 20:19

Yes, mums share should be split between the three of them. It sounds like you know that was her wish. I'd judge my dp heavily if he kept all the money, knowing that wasn't what his mum wanted. Not the type of person I'd respect.

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