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AIBU?

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AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

465 replies

hesbelleth · 17/05/2026 18:17

DH lost both of his parents quite young, when he was in his late 20s. His parents were both on their second marriage. He was adopted but only found out on his dad’s death.

His mum had two biological children with her first husband. They are in their late 50s, so much much older than DH. He sees them maybe 2-3 times a year, but growing up he didn’t really see them for a few years at a time. They’re both nice people.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

When DH’s dad died, he left everything to DH. It’s not an enormous sum but includes a very small flat in Kensington so it’s an estate of £1m+

DH’s siblings have now come to ask if he will be giving them their share of the estate. That is, for the mum’s half, split between them. DH doesn’t want to give them anything as it was left to him. He also says the money is more useful for him than them as they’re retired or about to and own their own houses outright.

OP posts:
grumpygrape · 18/05/2026 21:42

hesbelleth · 17/05/2026 18:17

DH lost both of his parents quite young, when he was in his late 20s. His parents were both on their second marriage. He was adopted but only found out on his dad’s death.

His mum had two biological children with her first husband. They are in their late 50s, so much much older than DH. He sees them maybe 2-3 times a year, but growing up he didn’t really see them for a few years at a time. They’re both nice people.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

When DH’s dad died, he left everything to DH. It’s not an enormous sum but includes a very small flat in Kensington so it’s an estate of £1m+

DH’s siblings have now come to ask if he will be giving them their share of the estate. That is, for the mum’s half, split between them. DH doesn’t want to give them anything as it was left to him. He also says the money is more useful for him than them as they’re retired or about to and own their own houses outright.

How does anyone know what she wanted if she didn't express her wishes in a Will ?

PhaedraTwo · 18/05/2026 21:39

ExecutorAttorneyAdvicePlease · 18/05/2026 20:25

No Common Property law or have I misinterpreted that?

Land and houses can be owned equally or equally and to the survivor. The first means that each owner can leave their share to whoever they want; the second means it passes automatically to the survivor and can't be altered by a will. There are valid reasons for choosing either.

southcoastsammy · 18/05/2026 21:31

I hope the subs take him to court over this. If I was them I would be tempted to more for the injustice than the money even.

CherryViper · 18/05/2026 21:30

It IS an enormous sum.

Your DH should get financial advice and split their mum's estate by 1/3 to each sibling.

BabyCat2020z · 18/05/2026 21:25

Yes, he knows his mum's wishes. I would share a third of anything that belonged to her.

Nogreenskittles · 18/05/2026 21:24

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 17/05/2026 18:25

Well, legally it is his money and his decision.

It's a pretty greedy, selfish decision to go against his mother's wishes though.

If my DH did something like this, I would be really questioning the morals of the man that I had married tbh.

Exactly this. Shows a real lack of integrity.

I’d also watch out being married to someone like this. If you ever split or divorce, this is the kind of man you’ll be trying to get a fair settlement with

SharonBe · 18/05/2026 21:22

I agree with you but it is his decision. Your decision is what you do after he shows you what kind of person he is.

ExecutorAttorneyAdvicePlease · 18/05/2026 21:17

grumpygrape · 18/05/2026 21:12

More projection in here than at your local IMAX.

Unless they are expressed in a Will, nobody knows her true wishes. She could have been telling everyone something different.

Exactly.

ExecutorAttorneyAdvicePlease · 18/05/2026 21:17

prh47bridge · 18/05/2026 21:12

OP refers to his mother wanting her half to be split between her children, which suggests that half the estate was originally hers. On that basis, they would each get £165k+.

Not necessarily- her contribution to the estate may have been much less (even if it was half at the time). The property and any investments may have appreciated a lot in whatever the time period was between her death and her husband’s.
Plus there may be other funds that were just the father’s and not held jointly or acquired after her death.

Dancingsquirrels · 18/05/2026 21:14

ExtraOnions · 17/05/2026 18:30

If his mum was that adamant that she wanted that, she would have made a Will to say that.

It's called sideways inheritance

Happens a lot

Usually cos people assume their new husband / wife will do the decent thing, but they don't

grumpygrape · 18/05/2026 21:12

More projection in here than at your local IMAX.

Unless they are expressed in a Will, nobody knows her true wishes. She could have been telling everyone something different.

prh47bridge · 18/05/2026 21:12

HelenaWilson · 18/05/2026 21:08

She shouldn’t have made her Will to say that.

We don't know that she left a will at all.

Saying that he has more use for 1m+ than they have for around 350k each just makes him look greedy.

You are assuming that the whole £1m was the mother's estate which then passed to the father. You have no idea how much she left and how much the older children might have a claim to.

OP refers to his mother wanting her half to be split between her children, which suggests that half the estate was originally hers. On that basis, they would each get £165k+.

prh47bridge · 18/05/2026 21:09

Legally, if his mother had left his father a lifetime interest in her share with it then being split between her three children, he would have to give his half siblings their share. That is why this type of will is frequently recommended.

If she did not do this, he is not legally required to share his inheritance. However, in this situation my view is that the right thing to do morally is to respect his mother's wishes and share her half of his inheritance with his half siblings. That would still leave him with over £650k.

HelenaWilson · 18/05/2026 21:08

She shouldn’t have made her Will to say that.

We don't know that she left a will at all.

Saying that he has more use for 1m+ than they have for around 350k each just makes him look greedy.

You are assuming that the whole £1m was the mother's estate which then passed to the father. You have no idea how much she left and how much the older children might have a claim to.

Pineapplecolada1 · 18/05/2026 21:05

Of course he should, very selfish of him not to. Personally it would put me off him and I’d question his morals.

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 21:00

Another2Cats · 18/05/2026 20:57

Quite a few people have been saying the same thing. Do you think that everybody here saying the same thing is "the OP's hubby"?

His grubby greediness is nauseating. I'm glad I don't know him.

WilfredsPies · 18/05/2026 20:59

His greed is repulsive. She was their mum too.

This is your warning that he absolutely will try to fuck you over if you ever get divorced.

Another2Cats · 18/05/2026 20:58

WiseTealRaven · 18/05/2026 20:55

It wouldn't as there will be at least 200k in inheritance tax to pay out before its divided up.

Why?

Another2Cats · 18/05/2026 20:57

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:48

Oh, look, the OP's hubby's got a MN login...🙄

Quite a few people have been saying the same thing. Do you think that everybody here saying the same thing is "the OP's hubby"?

WiseTealRaven · 18/05/2026 20:55

It wouldn't as there will be at least 200k in inheritance tax to pay out before its divided up.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 18/05/2026 20:53

If I'm honest, I'd be questioning how he would treat ME if we were to split up, if he did this.

Ifallelsefails · 18/05/2026 20:51

Has the back story only come from DH or have the other 2 validated what was said at mother's death and then at father's death - how long ago did all this happen?

So mother had 2 children from a previous marriage and father didn't have any biological children - they were his step children? How old was DH when he was adopted? Does he know the story behind his adoption? Obviously only finding out he wasn't their child when father died must have been a shock - did the other 2 know or was it a shock to them too? What was the relationship like for DH growing up - were they close? All the questions are relative btw.

How long is it since father died? Maybe he left everything to DH because he was adopted and they hadn't told him.

grumpygrape · 18/05/2026 20:51

A wish is only a wish until it’s embedded in Law.

People say all sorts of things but unless they make their thoughts/wishes/feelings/intentions, call them what you want, legal then nobody knows what they really meant.

'I'll remember you in my Will' is up there with 'the Cheque's in the post', 'of course I'll still respect you in the morning', etc.

Good click bait story though.

tachetastic · 18/05/2026 20:50

I can imagine that it must be hard for your DH to do what he sees as giving up what must be around 700k, including a flat in Kensington, @hesbelleth .

But it is the right thing to do. Saying that he has more use for 1m+ than they have for around 350k each just makes him look greedy. What right does he have to say what they would or should have a use for?

Tableforjoan · 18/05/2026 20:49

LoyalMember · 18/05/2026 20:48

Oh, look, the OP's hubby's got a MN login...🙄

I wouldn’t share either.

Not without full proof of wishes and proof of non forged documentation of what she actually had to leave at death.

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