AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

So if he gives them their share he’d still have over £700k

He sounds quite greedy, but the mum was stupid not to sort it properly.

If he does decide to give his half siblings something, it should reflect what they would have received had his mum’s estate been split 3 ways between them and not gone to his dad, otherwise his half siblings will benefit from his dad’s estate which would never have been shared with them (as he is not their dad). So we aren’t talking splitting a £1m estate three ways but presumably a smaller sum (half of it?)

edited to correct typo

But you said he lost his parents in his 20s . So how many years ago was this . And now the siblings come looking for money ? The mothers money years ago might be nowhere near the sum he got . And who owned the flat ? I am afraid I wouldn't feel obliged to give anything to siblings that I have almost no contact with . And why has this come about only now . Did they always know he was adopted ? Is that the problem? Any way it's his inheritance not yours OP . All those saying that he should , etc I wonder how they'd feel if her DH tried to tell her what to do with her family's money .

I think he isn’t counting the property. Just the physical money. He probably doesn’t see himself selling the house.

Tbh I do agree with you - if that was your mums wish then it’s only right it’s fulfilled. But I’d also like to know why she didn’t make that official. And how do they know that was the wish? Did she somehow communicate that to all of them?

Yabu to “tell him” to do anything.
Yanbu in suggesting he should do as you’ve said.

Quite

Legally he is fine.

Why didn’t mum have her will split between her three children with her husband have a life time right to live in the property?

Also if he did split it, sure it should be the value back then not the current assumably higher value as they have no even moral right to the father’s increase in it.

If he didn’t grow up with a sibling bond, as well as the bomb of suddenly finding his adopted his mind is likely all over the place anyway. People coming in the beg when someone’s lost their father and found out something like that seems rather cruel in itself.

Morally well that’s between him and his god.

When his mum died, she left his dad all of their property/money. She wanted her half to be split amongst her three children.

so why didn’t she make a will to that effect then?

That was the point I was making. Maybe inelegantly.

Legally it is his money assuming there was a Will. If there was not one the estate should have been split as per intestacy rules.
If there was a Will there would have been an executor. And hopefully for an estate of that size and with some complexity a Solicitor.

i think op meant by not a large sum is the cash amount rather than the flat

Was the flat brought into the marriage by the dad?

It’s a blended family thing isn’t it, its up to him really he’d have to sell the flat to pay out to the siblings, don’t think I’d do it myself if I’d planned to keep the property.

I wouldn’t be happy if I were the siblings though, knowing he was going against their mothers wishes

I’d love to know why his mother didn’t give some of her estate to her first 2 sons when she died. How do they know she wanted them to have some of it? Also, what about their father - is he still around? How did she acquire her money?

Of course you are right.

DH gets all of the dad's half. The other half is split 3 ways - exactly as it was originally intended.

Being adopted is neither here nor there and it’s inappropriate to bring it up.

What IS relevant is that his mother’s first two children are just as much her kids as her third is.

Yes I think he should divide the mums half three ways. The only reason I’d think different is if the majority of the money was his dads and his mum brought nothing to the mariage.

just to play devils advocate…….if he goes along with his mothers wishes, he is in effect not going along with his father’s
Im not saying that’s right and his dad was pretty bloody awful to put him in this position but could grief and wanting to honour his father’s wishes be a part of all this?

First post nails it.

If his mother left no will or the DF changed his will after she died then legally the money is all his
However with a large estate of £1m, I think it would be churlish of him NOT to give his step brothers something. Perhaps £100k each - which is probably a 1/6th of what the estate was worth when DM died or a full 1/6th of the estate's worth now. Not to give anything gives a picture of who your DH is and its not a very good one.

Legally he doesn't have to give them squat. Morally he absolutely should give them their mums half.

1M is a substantial sum so the knives will probably come out. I would try to mediate a way to settle this if for no other reason than just to keep the family peace.

Morally he should divide half the estate between the three siblings. Then half the estate is his alone.

So the sisters each get £166k. He gets £666k. He still gets a huge, life changing sum.

Legally he doesn't have to of course. I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't

Yes, you absolutely should. Tell him that you will see him in a very different light if he doesn't and you want no part of it.

He'd still have £666k. His siblings might have intended to pass on to their own kids. There will be fall out. If he doesn't care, then he's telling you what he thinks of family.

He absolutely should split it or at least give them a fair share of the Mother’s part.
He’s being selfish and his father’s gone against their mother’s wishes to steal from her children and he’s part of that accepting it.

If it is not an enormous sum he wont miss it will he?

1mil+ is enormous.

His money and therefore his choice but I would honour his mums wishes and at least give them each a third of her share