AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

My mum wanted to share between all us kids, when she died dad wanted to write my wayward brother out of the will, as none of us had any relationship with him for over 20 years. The rest of us said no, respect mums wishes. Thankfully he did.

Sometimes people should do the right thing.

If he has any respect for his late mother and her wishes he should definitely give the siblings their share !

@hesbelleth I think he should split it with them however when did his DM die?

I as as if it were say 20 years ago the overall value of the estate would have vastly increased in that time and their split 20 years ago would be significantly less than now. If it were in the past 5 years or so then split as is.

if the estate is worth £1m then IHT will have to be paid I assume so that will reduce the pot anyway but assuming there is none and he gets £1m he should give them at least 100k each.

What was the worth of his mother’s estate at the time of her death. So only 50% of the property, her pension and shared cash.

They can’t even morally be sniffing around for the value at dad’s time of death including his pension. Very greedy of them considering no legally right.

This!! He should definitely honour his mother‘s wishes. (Morally!)

And this is why women should not leave their estate to their DH, believing that they will do the right thing and recognise their partner's wishes.
So often they do not.
(and second wives often don't, either.

Absolutely @YooBlue

A friend of mine is a probate lawyer, and he says that it’s invariably the in-laws who get greedy like this. And second wives/ families.

I’d be really put off my DH if he behaved like this.

Legally, it's his, but if he ignores his mum's expressed wishes then he is morally bankrupt.
Also him bringing ages into it to justify his reasoning is bullshit. People at any age may need money due to a variety of reasons.

He will still get most of the estate and have a sizeable amount of money that he can invest Vs other people his age which he can benefit from for the rest of his life

Agree with you. Your DH’s mother should have protected all her children, his father did the wrong thing, and your DH is being quite mean.

Legally your DH is right.
Morally he should share it as his mother wanted. It’s disgusting that he would completely disinherit her children. And he’d still get nearly £700,000, which is a huge amount of money.
His behaviour would put me off him if he was my DH.

His DM’s share of the estate is not necessarily 50%, do you know if it was all earned during the marriage or if either his mum or dad had family money / money earned before getting married?

If his mum wanted her half to be split between her children she should have put that in place, legally. It's not fair for your DH to be put in this position.
I found myself in a similar position, received an Inheritance unexpectedly, was told by everyone that it needed to be shared etc, that's what the deceased would have wanted. If that's what they wanted they should have put provisions in place.

Well, I am going to say that (a) it’s not your business to tell him what to do and (b) if his mum wanted something different to happen she should have done something about it. Does he actually know that’s what she wanted or is it an assumption from his half-siblings? If I were them, I would not be asking for money that was not legally mine.

And this is why women should not leave their estate to their DH, believing that they will do the right thing and recognise their partner's wishes.

So often they do not.

(and second wives often don't, either.

OP - I would feel quite disgusted with your late FIL and your DH in not recognising that giving his half siblings a sixth share each is the ethical thing to do.

He is benefitting from his father's bad behaviour. (yes, it is bad behaviour to disregard your wife's wish that her own estate be split between her Dc after FIL's death). ugh.

So many threads on here prove it’s easy to be ‘morally correct‘ with other people’s money

Personally I don’t think it’s moral to expect someone to hand over money to someone else when it’s not yours and it’s not your business

I think the date of inheritance does make a difference. If it was ten years ago for example then I am afraid it would be a case of "sorry but its too late".

Morally it’s right to split it and on an estate of a million there’s plenty to go around

Morally he should give them a third each of their mums estate. He would still end up with a good amount. Unfortunately he can’t be forced due to their mums lack of planning. YABU though to tell him what to do because it’s not your money or your business. You can give your opinion yes but tell him, no

He's depriving his half-siblings of potentially hundreds of thousands of pounds, depending on the size of their mum's estate. For most of us that's a life -changing amount.
I'd be pushing very hard indeed for him to do the right thing. Otherwise I'd have serious doubts about whether our values aligned.
If only everybody could make a watertight will to stop this sort of thing from happening.

She’s not questioning his morals, they’re coming out better financially for him doing this. Pricks

Well unless it’s been protected, there will be IHT as well. But I absolutely think they should receive a share.

Honestly your husband needs to do the mortally right thing here and split the money. Anything else is just horrible.

Of course he shouldn’t if it was left to him. It is entirely up to him.

How would you feel if you inherited and he was telling you what to do with it? Kindly, it’s none of your business

He decision speaks to his character.

Oh wait did the inheritance happen ages ago and now the siblings suddenly want some pie?

Seems sus to wait so long as well if so.

@hesbelleth

What was written into his Mum's will? What was written in his Dad's will?

It sounds to me like his mum wanted her half to be split three ways, but as her DH was still alive, it wouldn't be sensible for her half to be divided three ways at the time as he still needed the house etc... so it was no doubt agreed that his will would need to reflect this upon his death.

So although legally your DH has inherited everything, his mum clearly wanted her share to be split three ways, so whatever was deemed to be his mum's share of the estate when she died, he should give 1/3 of this to each of his half siblings.

Morally, if he goes against his mum's wishes then that speaks volumes about what sort of person he is. It would be disrespectful to his dead mother. I wouldn't want to be with the sort of person who felt his own entitlement was worth more than his mother's wishes.