AIBU to tell DH to split his inheritance with his half siblings?

This is awful. I'd never see him in the same light again, it would give me the serious ick.

So he is willing to ignore his mum’s wishes? What a shitty thing to do.

They’re intelligent, professional
people with the means and ability to access legal advice. If they put their wishes in a legal document like I’ve encouraged them to then they will be followed, if they choose not to then I have to assume they don’t seriously want that to happen.

When you say his mum left 'all her property and money' to his Dad... how much of the estate he's inherited was actually his Mums?

Legally - it was left to your DH, it is his.

Morally - sticking to that could cost him a relationship with his siblings - particularly if Mum was very clear about her wishes, and if a large proportion of the estate originated with her.

Was his Mum the sort to say one thing and mean another? I've met a lot of people who will tell all and sundry they're being left this/that/the other and are simply saying it to manipulate people, curry favour, or because they're too weak willed to be clear about what will happen, and have zero intention of actually doing what they say and leave it all to a partner/spouse in the end.

Can’t imagine why your parents are prioritising your brother over you when you seem like such a delightful person 🙄

Yes, I think what you’re suggesting is fair. Your DH would still be getting 4/6 of the £1m+ so if we round it to £1.2 for the sake of easier maths, he would get £800k and his siblings would each get £200k. How is that not enough for him of someone else’s money?

If it’s only the mums half then he gets £500K from his dad & £500k from his mum is split 3 ways. OPs DH still gets over £600k( less any IHT due). He should do as his mum wished.

That the DH is the type of person that will prioritize the family he has with OP over the half siblings he has little relationship with?

If his mother wanted all of her children to benefit from her share of the estate then she should have put that it her will.

sorry but not your inheritance not your to dispose of...BUT of course this will tell you something about what your OH is like......

I think a lot will go on IHT before anyone gets anything.

There are too few details to know the right reply to this but at face value, yes, I think he should give each of his half siblings 1/6 of the estate after IHT.

I would feel too guilty to ignore my mother's dying wish, unless there were some very unusual backstory to take into account. As you say he got on well enough with his mother's biological children and didn't have a problem with either parent, that doesn't seem to be the case. Surely he can honour his mother's wishes and still have enough left over to feel blessed and well provided for by his inheritance. It's his choice, legally, but I'd be morally repulsed if my husband was so selfish when he knows what his mother intended.

I'd also be wondering why his father chose to ignore his wife's wishes. Did he have a problem with his wife's other children?

I wouldn’t share it, he doesn’t have to, and if it’s what his mum wanted then she should have written her will to reflect that. I couldn’t justify giving away money to older relatives when I’ve got children that it would benefit.

My parent gave told me they want their entire estate to go to my brother once they’re dead as he needs it more than I do, but they’re too cheap to pay to have wills written to reflect their wishes, like fuck will I be giving up my share to him once they’re gone.

Yes. He still gets the lion’s share. His Mum’s wishes not being carried out would be morally bankrupt.

If my bloke did this I’d never see him in the same way again.

Leave money to them in the will or given them a sum when she was still alive and when they probably needed it more.

These fucking selfish parents who remarry and leave everything to their new partner. What did she think would happen? That her husband would leave half his house to two kids he's not related to? These people make me annoyed

Friend of my mothers was in slightly analogous position. Her wealthy mother remarried. Made husband 2 heir with ‘understanding’ her d would get £ when he died. She predeceased husband 2. Husband 2 married his much younger cleaner. He dies shortly after. Cleaner scoops lot. Daughter gets zero.

Yes exactly. Round here, you could buy 3 houses for that. Or give up working! Probably not in London, though.

But how can you protect your children?

This. I come on here every time to say this. All this ‘trusting OH to do the right thing’ bollocks. No mirror wills. Just proper wills, naming the children. You want your DC to inherit? Write them into the will.

OP, I absolutely feel for your husband’s siblings by adoption. How awful for them.

i think he could argue that his mother’s share should be valued at the moment she died, not the value today. That is the point the liability was established. So you need to see how much it was worth then and divide that into 3. The rest is his dad’s share. I would definitely give them some of it.

Even if they had mirror wills it's not bullet proof.

My parents in law had identical wills, leaving fair percentages to their various children. FIL died first and MIL then changed her will to cut out her step children. On her death my DH and BIL wanted to honour FIL's wishes and see the inheritance split fairly. My SIL (MIL's biological child) wanted to keep a greater share because that was MIL's wish. She relented but I thought it was outrageous that she would try and selfishly keep money which, morally, should have gone to her half siblings. I lost respect her which I've not regained. I'd think very poorly of your DH.

Legally he doesn’t have to. Morally, different story. If he splits the estate in half, so into ‘mums share’ and ‘Dads share’, as his dad’s only child he keeps all of dad’s share. Mum’s share, he should split 3 ways as his mum wanted, so he still gets a 3rd of that. So let’s say the estate is worth 1m, he still gets 666k himself!

So you are a member of the travelling community with a trust fund worth several million?

Okaaaaay

Oh that's a bit of a mess isn't it? His mum should have been more explicit in her will, but nonetheless, I agree with you, it's more appropriate he susses out how much of it is his mums and then splits that 3 ways. One third plus the rest is his. It'll still make you both much more comfortable and honestly it'll keep things wweet with his brothers - you ever know when you might need them.

If you can help him work out how much is theirs, he'll see at worst he'll retain £666.66k, his brothers will receive £166.66k each (assuming in total it's a million post taxes etc).