P&C spaces (apologies)

I think everyone has just had a bit of a bad day. They’ve taken the space, you and your husband have glared at them. They’ve got defensive and either told the truth or lied (doesn’t matter) about collecting for a charity. You don’t get defensive if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong!

As for everyone else in the supermarket, they’re just generally rolling their eyes at you and wanting to get out before this actually escalates into something.

To be fair though, you need to fully open the door and lean in to do up the seat belt when you have a little child. Potentially if your child is fairly slim, leaning over her to do up the car seat, is in fact, easier than leaning over a little child in a chunky car seat. Doesn't really seem fair that you get to park in a parent and child space for that, but that a parent with a child who is in a bulky car seat, may then have to do the same thing in a regular space, because you have taken a parent and child space.

As you probably know, disabled/blue badge spaces are legally binding. P&C spaces are just courtesy/goodwill of the supermarket. You say you recommend a blue badge; I take it this was sarcasm?

FWIW, I have multiple sclerosis and a blue badge which was not easy to get.

This. Absolutely no reason for them to even engage with two random people unless they were provoked of some sort.

They confronted you because you glared/gave them evils then tried to run when called out.

For charity workers they showed v little charity

They sound like tossers

You were in the right, they were in the wrong whether or not they were charity workers.

What I don't understand is why they confronted you if you hadn't said anything, either to them or to your husband.

Surely if people see someone looking a bit cross in the supermarket, they don't jump to the conclusion it's all about them. There'd be arguments every five minutes.

That aside, I don't think their errand was a reason to use a P&C space. The only valid reason to use one if you've no children is if you're disabled and all the disabled spaces are full.

I say this with no skin in the game as I'm childfree so have never used one.

I think they saw you and realised you probably needed the space more than them, so jumped in with the charity worker line to make themselves feel better. So whether that’s really what they were doing or not, they likely felt bad hence going on the defense!

Exactly. You definitely do like confrontation!

Charity workers can also be inconsiderate arseholes too 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm a bit lost as to why both of you went and took the child with you. A child with autism can do without a trip at the supermarket just one of you go in get the shopping be home and getting on with your lives much faster

You have no idea what OPs child could do with, and it’s not at all relevant.

I'm a bit lost as to why both of you went and took the child with you. A child with autism can do without a trip at the supermarket just one of you go in get the shopping be home and getting on with your lives much faster

YABU to have not continued to challenge them.

If they're charity workers collecting food then that's great, but the food is in trolleys that is then loaded into the back of their van, so they had absolutely no need for a parent and child space as they didn't need wide opening door spaces!

(My uncle works for a food bank and often does the collection, and would not dream of parking in a disabled or P&C space)

@stichguru

you do if you have a profoundly disabled adult child and your council is refusing a blue badge despite max pip for mobility - we need to fully open the door to get her in and out and do up the seatbelt. Apparently they aren’t sure what box you tick??? She had one under 16 but since switching to pip from dla it’s impossible

Well I'd call bullshit on them being charity workers.

You just both managed to magically remember exactly how each other looked from a brief glance through two sets of windscreens which only show chest height upwards, went and parked somewhere else, got everyone out of the car and into trollies, then spotted each other in a packed supermarket but nothing at all was said, looked, gestured, inferred, and they just randomly came up to you and started on at you completely out of the blue and you are totally blameless in all of it?

Surely you can see how unlikely this whole thing reads?

Staring them down with a face like a slapped arse is very clearly why they came over to speak to you.

Passive aggressive behaviour absolutely rubs me up the wrong way, and I’m sure there are many other people that would approach you and put you back into your box.

Your DC is 12 - apply for a blue badge if he is disabled instead of relying on P&C spaces.

Agree with pp that you must have been very obvious that you were annoyed and this is the issue really. If you didn’t want the confrontation then you can’t really go around loudly tutting or whatever you were doing to make them explain themselves

Gently as possible, I don't believe you didn't make passive aggressive statements, looks, sounds or whatever else and that is what led to the conflict.

You didn't expect the conflict but you wanted your opinion known.

So, FAFO is the phrase that is used when people make the wrong assumptions.

Being passive aggressive is a UK past time and some are far too comfortable and reliant on thinking others are just going to accept this behaviour.

You learned a lesson. What you do with that, in future, is up to you.